Shihaiken no Maebure
by eltitere
Summary: War rages in the Land of the Fire. Refugees pour into Konoha, forcing some residents to relocate. The effect this has on the citizens is completely unprecedented, especially for Kakashi, Iruka, Neji, and even Kankuro who is there for some reason... YAOI
1. Chapter 1

It was a cold, clear night.  
This was Hatake Kakashi's favourite, if you could that he has preferences, kind of night. The moon gave a pale light that revealed potential enemies, traps, allowed him to read porn, and, most importantly, avoid fangirls and bimbos.  
Kakashi sighed as he lazily turned the page of his dog-eared Icha Icha Paradise. Lately it seemed that every other girl in Konoha was bent on annoying him. Worst of them all was Anko. Sure they had dated sometime ago, but she still didn't lay off. He had become cold to her and unemotional when they met, hoping she would catch the hint, but noooooo. She thought that she could bring their relationship back together by being caring and blah blah blah blah. Kakashi scratched his head thinking of how annoying she was.  
Why couldn't she leave him alone? Was she so thick that she couldn't see that it was over between the two of them? Maybe he should start seeing someone, just to send a clear message. But this idea was too stupid to work. He wasn't interested in anyone at the moment. He just wanted to be in peace with his book. Was that too much to ask?

Kakashi sensed someone coming. Glancing to his left, the moonlight showed a figure jumping over the rooftops in his general direction. The Copy Ninja prepared to leave in case it was female (he felt a little bad at this thought, Kurenai was female and she was OK, but he didn't want to take any chances).  
As the figure approached Kakashi saw it was a male. Add to that, it was a chuunin.  
Kakashi frowned inwardly. Chuunin did not usually approach him unless it was for something annoying such as advice on training techniques, how the chakra was most efficiently used and all that crap. He prepared to take off again, he was in no mood to give a polite brush-off. But then the moon revealed the face of the leaping chuunin; the was a huge scar across the bridge of the nose and the skin was tan.

Kakashi recalled seeming him before...where was it? Oh, yeah, the dude who used to be Naruto's teacher and that was against him making them enter the chuunin exam.  
What did he want now? Sasuke was definitely NOT coming back for a while and who knows how long Naruto would take to learn more techniques with the best porn author in the universe (aka Jiraiya), the boy was completely unpredictable. And the annoying yelling brat was now the Hokage's problem so why would that chuunin go to him for anything? Kakashi tried to remember his name, but unless it was something he cared  
about (i.e. Icha Icha) or they spent more than six weeks with him, the names of people didn't stick.  
Well, it was too late to pretend he hadn't seen him_now_, so Kakashi got up and slouched and looked generally bored as Umino Iruka reached him.


	2. Chapter 2

As Iruka approached the Copy-nin, he felt his temper rising. He had asked Tsunade for an excuse to talk to him, just so he could really give him a piece of his mind.

Iruka had rehearsed in his mind what he was going to say. He was going to point out how irresponsible the jounin was to leave Naruto in the care of a perverted old sage that taught him very dangerous jutsus (even if such sage Was one of the legendary Sannin). Then he was going to scold him why he had shown Sasuke the Chidori without thinking ahead of what he could use it for _besides_ passing the Chunnin exam.

The Chuunin Exam.

Why on earth had he let him make them take it??

Not only had his students been on lethal danger, but also there was another nation involved There had even been the potential for war!  
Sasuke and the Chidori had been the center of it.

Yes, Iruka would give the laid-off jounin a piece of his mind!

Kakashi stared at Iruka as he approached. Suddenly some of the anger in the chunnin quelled. The silver-haired ninja was bigger (but not by that far) and definitely stronger. Perhaps he shouldn't start off yelling. After all the Hatake was his_senpai_, and it would be disrespectful to not address him as one.

"Hmmm...Hatake-senpai?" Iruka awkwardly started. Kakashi just gave him a lazy nod. "I believe we've met, my name is Umino Iruka and I am Naruto's, Sakura's and Sasuke's former teacher..."

"Yes, I remember you, you were the one who complained when I said they were ready for the Chuunin Exam" Kakashi looked bored out his mind already. This fueled Iruka's anger.

"Well they were not! Never mind the sabotage during the exam! The sand-nin were ready to kill anyone who got in their path, their teammates included! Why that red-haired monster alone---  
"Did you come here to harass my teaching skills or to tell me something worthwhile?" Kakashi interrupted.  
Iruka stopped short and a blush of wrath crept to his face. "The Hokage wants to see you." He said under his breadth. "How can you not care about the safety of--"  
"Alright then, to the Hokage's" the copy-nin vanished in a puff of smoke.

Iruka stood open-mouthed with disbelief for some time. Then he shook his head and promised himself he would mess up Kakashi's file so all the genin missions would fall on him. That rude bastard.

------

Tsunade looked up as she sensed a sudden appearance, "oh, you're here" She looked down her papers again.  
"Is there a specific reason you sent an annoying chunnin to get me?"  
"He was standing there, that's all. Now about your mission..."  
"I have a mission?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware of that."  
"You have one now." Tsunade looked up, her face serious. "Recently it seems that the enemy knows where to expect us and at what time. It's almost as if someone from here in the village was giving them information. However, the enemy does not know who shows up at the mission or what abilities they have, so nothing has gone awry yet. This tells us that if there is a traitor among us, it's probably a Chunnin or a lower rank, that can see the missions filed, but not who takes them. Your job is to find out if there is a traitor and who it is."  
"So I get to spy on chuunins?" An idea was forming in silver-haired ninja, and it involved someone with a scar across his face.  
"Yes, basically. You start tomorrow, I expect a report by next week."

Back at home, Kakashi made sure that nothing was out of place and then took his mask off. Well wasn't _this_ going to be a fun week.  
He now had the perfect opportunity t get back at that annoying git, and he was going to enjoy it.


	3. Chapter 3

When Kakashi looked as his inbox for missions that morning, he knew right away something was amiss. First off, he already had an A rank mission assigned to him by the Hokage herself and that alone should have considerably slowed the flow of requested missions.

Second, the box was FULL. The most scrolls Kakashi had ever seen in it was three and that time one of them had been a mistake and the other two involved his team (Naruto, Sasuke, etc.). Now the box was so full many scrolls were falling out off the precariously stacked pile.

Most outstanding of all is that most of the scrolls were marked D-level. Even when he had had Team 7, he couldn't remember doing a mission of such a low rank (at least not since the Zabuza incident) and now that he didn't have any official students under him it didn't make any sense.

While he was flipping through the mission scrolls wondering what to make of them, a chunnin guy he didn't know came into the office.  
"I come to show Hatake-san to the classroom." said the bored looking chunnin.  
"Huh?" Kakashi was getting annoyed.  
"You requested to help the academy teachers with the newest students. And good timing too, those brats are out of control and those teachers need as many aides as possible."

"I did NOT do such thing" Kakashi's tone was threatening.

The chunnin winced. "Err... well, you're signed up for a couple of jobs at the school as well as some community stuff and..." Kakashi's death glare intensified. "...I'll just tell them you're busy..." the chunnin hurried away.

His mood darkening by the minute, the copy-nin went towards the other to start on his mission the Hokage gave him. He would deal with all the other crap later.

As soon as he opened the door a round projectile flew at him, too close and too fast to dodge.

Reacting on instinct, he threw a shuriken at it. The projectile exploded. Instantly Kakashi was covered in ink. The unidentified flying object had been an ink balloon.

Suppressing the urge to kill everyone in the room, even the ones who had also been splattered with some ink, the jounin felt swearing to kill the person responsible under his breath.

Iruka's morning had NOT been pleasant either. After dealing with one of Konohamaru's exploding tags for the third time that week, two members of Ibiki's team showed up.  
They said that someone tipped them off that Iruka was a missing-nin from the hidden mist village and that they had to cross examine him.  
Iruka had to endure the questioning even though it was ridiculous, he had been in the leaf village his whole life.  
After in the mission room everyone had looked at him weird and for some reason he had to go through more paperwork than usual.  
His only consolation was that he had gotten that darned Copy-nin for sure. He saw ink stains in his hands and he didn't look very pleased as he talked to some Chunnin (Iruka missed the fact that Kakashi did not usually bother himself talking to his juniors).

Tomorrow he would set up another trap, he would think of the details later...As he turned to the next report in his pile he felt a presence beside him. He turned to see a clear blue eye studying him.

"We need to talk" said Kakashi.

Iruka could bring himself to nod.


	4. Chapter 4

Cross-examining Iruka had been less fun than expected. Kakashi had tried to ask the most awkward and humiliating questions he could muster, but the most he got was a blush and a slight stammer. The man seemed very responsible and to-the-rules, which made Kakashi scratch him out of his list of suspects for the pranks. Iruka still was, however, in the Suspicious Chunnin List. Kakashi could tell something was amiss with the man; no one he knew, not even the most devoted of shinobi (Gai included) led such boring lives. His track record showed almost no mistakes and his only fault ever seemed to raise his voice at his students or anyone threatening them. Apparently the scarred ninja went to school, went to the mission room, went home, graded, perhaps read and off to bed at nine. No night life, no hobbies, no lovers, no anything. What a square. Of course if Kakashi had been more bent on studying Iruka than most Konoha chunnin, he might have noticed that he indeed did have a hobby and that recently he had been sneaking out during the night to leave traps for certain jounin he disliked.  
"Is that all, senpai?" Iruka asked politely.  
"Hn" muttered Kakashi and he went off to stalk his next victim.Iruka let out a hardly noticeable sigh of relief and walked home, unaware that the copy-nin was following him to find out where he lived.

-------------  
Both Iruka and Kakashi had been having a VERY bad week. Neither ninja knew the culprit, but they both knew they were being targeted by a prankster.  
Kakashi had given up on trying to sort out the missions that came in his inbox every day and was especially cautious when going around the corners and opening closet doors.  
Iruka now checked his bed sheet with military precision before going to bed and after three days he managed to get the smell of fish out of his hair. His neck still itched as if there were still dirt fleas in his shirt, though. It did not help Iruka that he had Konohamaru is his class and that the boy took every opportunity to try to trap his teacher and skip class.  
Kakashi was dead tired of spying on boring chuunins and he was tempted to make up an offence to report to the Hokage just to end the stupid mission.  
"Nothing is out of ordinary dammit!" he yelled at her in his head. He sighed and took out his smutty book, while he let his chakra follow the chuunin instead of his eye. He wanted to relax.The afternoon found him in the Konoha Laundromat. As he turned the page to the ending of his Icha Icha he saw a figure moving towards the door with a huge load of clothes. Feeling polite he went to open the door. A disgruntled chunnin with a scar across his face stared back at him while he was trying not to fall over under the weight of the dirty laundry.  
"Oh, it's you", said Kakashi, tempted to close the door on his face, but decided against it, since he had went all the trouble to walk across the room and open the door.  
Iruka muttered his thanks without meeting him in the eye and heaved his clothes to the nearest washing machine.  
Then he went over to the change machine and slid a 100 Ryo note into it. The machine spit it out. Iruka took the note, smoothed it a bit and tried again. And again. And again. Kakashi watched the proceedings with amusement as the machine remained as stubborn as ever on denying everyone change and Iruka's patience started to run short and his temper high. When the chunnin looked ready to rip the machine off it's hinges and beat the change out of it, Kakashi materialized at Iruka's shoulder."If you need change for that 100, I have some 25", he said casually. Iruka startled, a little uncomfortable with having the man so close.  
"Um...yeah, thanks, that would be nice of you", he tried to make his reply sound casual, but it took a nervous edge he didn't intend.  
The jounin gave him the change and then turned around to take his own clothes out of the drier. Iruka could not resist looking. Yes, he was washing his underwear, and it was light blue! Kakashi in blue boxers. Iruka concentrated on setting the machine to wash trying not to laugh out loud or let his smile show.  
"You're putting all your clothes in one load? No separating colors?" Kakashi was suddenly at Iruka's shoulder again. Iruka was startled out of his mind plan of distract Kakashi somehow and steal his underwear for later blackmail.  
"Erm, yeah, that's how I do it." Iruka didn't know what to make of the question.  
"If you do that, they all come out looking the same color."  
"I don't mind, most of it is dark anyways. Ninja uniform, you know?"  
Kakashi just shrugged, took his clothes and left.  
"He doesn't seem like such a bad guy after all," thought Iruka, while he sat down to read a magazine while he waited.His opinion changed drastically in 20 minutes, however, when he opened the washer and found out someone had slipped a blood pill in. Everything was crimson red.  
"BLOODY HELL!!!" He yelled, because as a school teacher, he felt obliged to restrain his language even outside the classroom.  
Somewhere not so far away, a perverted jounin chuckled to himself as he finished his dirty book.


	5. Chapter 5

At the end of the week, Kakashi delivered the list of suspects to the

Hokage. Top on his list were a man named Sanka and Iruka, he reported.

Tsunade said that he was to look into both men's house before handing

the mission over info-gathering ANBU. Kakashi noted that the Hokage

wanted to train her newest pups, but she didn't trust them that much

yet, so she left the first part of the mission to him. He was only

relieved to know that he wouldn't have to carry the mission all the way

through.

He waited or Iruka to sit down in the mission room before heading to his home.

The traps were slightly higher level than chuunin, but Kakashi reasoned that if you were a teacher, eventually you developed better defenses.

Kakashi snooped around a bit in Iruka's one-room apartment. God everything was so unearthly _clean_. Did the man even sleep or live there? or did he just go home to dust?

He opened the closet to find perfectly arranged clothes and a chuunin vest (obvious). He opened a few drawers but found nothing more than a few oddments. He had kept a lookout to see Iruka's approach and now the dog warned him that Iruka had left the mission room. Kakashi left in huff to Sanka's place, muttering about a waste of his time.

Iruka got to his apartment, took off his zoris and vest and sat down on his bed to read a little before eating dinner. Out of habit, he checked his chakra strands. These strands were so thin they were not noticed by most shinobi and even Byakuugan users would have to LOOK for one to find them.

They were useless in stopping anyone from anyone from entering, but Iruka would always know if someone _had_ entered, and what level of chakra that person had.

Now the chakra strands were broken and Iruka could tell someone with high levels of chakra but that could control them had entered his apartment. This meant that maybe an high-ranking jounin or and ANBU had come in and left. Yet nothing looked touched, so it meant that the person had skill. Iruka was wondering idly if this had anything to with the recent mission leaking that had been reported when a rush of panic overcame him. _What if_...He wrenched the closet door open and looked up. The hidden trapdoor seemed unmoved, but he decided to check anyways. With a sigh of relief he slumped back. His scrolls were there. He congratulated himself again for finding such a good hiding place, that not even an ANBU would try to think to look there.

He smiled to himself, closed the trapdoor and went to fix dinner.

----------------------------------

The Hokage called a town meeting. How unusual, Kakashi thought.

Usually Hokage gave announcements to ninjas and then to the civilians,

because each news were different. Ninjas got informed about the goings

on of war and such and civilians about economy and whatnot. Each to

its own.

This was why Kakashi actually showed something that might be interest

(if you squint) when he was walking along with the other jounins

towards the Hokage monument, where the meeting was being held.

It wasn't that there was segregation in Konoha, but the people just

separated themselves, perhaps unconsciously. Kakashi stood at ease

between Asuma and Genma, who were not to far away from Hyuuga Hisashi,

head of the Hyuuga clan. Farther down the line were the chuunins and

the genins and on the other side were the civilians.

Hokage Godaime Tsunade stood on a small platform so everyone could see her. Shizune, her assistant, stood beside her with a somber expression. There some ANBU guards around, but Kakashi doubted that the civilians could pick them out.  
"Citizens of Konoha!" Tsunade started. There was an expectant hush in the crowd, people waiting to see if the news were good or bad.  
"As you all know, a few months ago tragedy befell both our village and Suna. Little by little, we have recovered, but they have remained without a Kazekage. Their government was stable since they a chamber of councilors to reside over them until a new Kazekage was appointed. But now bad luck has struck them again.  
The hidden village of the Mist has taken advantage of their temporal weakness and has declared war on Suna."  
There were a few whispers in the crowd. Tsunade didn't wait for people to shut up.  
"As allies of Suna, it is our duty to help our friends. However, this war we will be helping in another, not by sending supporting troops."  
_Huh?_ This certainly surprised Kakashi.  
"The Suna can fight back, but they are afraid that civilians, women and children will be caught in the cross-fire. Therefore, as Konoha Hokage, I have made an offer.

We will accept Suna refugees into our own homes, clothe and feed them and give them our support during this time of hardship."  
It took some time for the crowd to digest this. _This is certainly a novel idea_, thought Kakashi.  
"However, it has been pointed out to me that we cannot build new houses in time and that there isn't enough free housing available.  
In conclusion, I ask you, all of you, to open your hearts a little and let someone live in your house until the war is over."  
Now the crowd was certainly talking. People were discussing the implications of this and some raised their hands.  
Shizune stepped forward. "Here are the forms to fill out if you are willing to accept a refugee in your house. If you have one spare room and some extra income, it would be most welcome for you to fill this out. And if you don't want to share your house with a stranger, you can have a friend in your house and that's friend's house will be used for a family."  
Gai stepped forward "I shall give up my whole house for these Youthful Unfortunates and live in the woods!!" he declared. He gave everyone a Good Guy pose complete with flashing smile.

The Hokage was done talking now and people were stepping towards the platform now, some asking questions and some filling out forms (Gai beat everyone to the first form of course).  
"The servant quarters seem rather empty recently." Hisashi commented has he read a form.  
"These people will not come here to work for us father." Hinata said shyly.  
Kakashi was watching this scene lazily when he noticed certain kunoichi he did _not_ want to see approaching him. Anko smiled brightly at him.  
"So, how about I give up my house and move in with you?" She asked brightly.  
_Most certainly not, EVER_ Kakashi mind-replied.  
"I don't have a spare room." He said instead.  
"Yes you do, you just turned it into a library."  
"Well...the thing is...I already gave up that room." _Yes, that's it_. "To a fellow Konohan."  
"You did?" She got angry. "How could you?? We're together!"  
"Not anymore and you know it."  
Anko looked like she wanted to strike him, but she wasn't about to start a fight with The Legendary Copy-Nin in the middle of a crowd and with civilians watching, no less.  
She glared at him and left in a huff.  
Kakashi reasoned that he didn't REALLY sign up for it, she would find out eventually and create a bigger scene.  
With a sigh he picked up a form and filled it out, signing himself up to share with someone from Konoha.  
Less than two meters away, Iruka was signing the same form, giving up his apartment and agreeing to move into the house of someone in the village.  
_As long as it's not HIM I'll be OK_, they both reasoned.


	6. Chapter 6

Kakashi heard a knock on the door. Well it must be his new room-mate. Made sense, since that morning he had received a pair of cardboard boxes, one labeled "clothes" and the other "paper and stuff". Kakashi didn't want to be rude, so he didn't open either, but he WAS curious and wondered who he would be sharing the apartment with for the next little while.

He straightened a little, opened the door and froze.  
Wide brown eyes above a long horizontal scar looked at him with equal disbelief.  
"YOU!" they both shouted at the same time.

----------------------------------------------------------  
Kankuro was sad. He missed his father, his sister and oddly, even his younger brother. But he wasn't about to let that man, Genma they said his name was, know.  
When his sister first suggested he go along with the refugees to stay in Konoha, he was outraged, believing his sister didn't think seem to think him fit to fight alongside the other ninja to protect the village.  
But then she explained to him, that she needed someone she could trust in Konoha, to report how the refugees were being treated and the political state. She said that there was usually a jounin Suna representative for this kind of thing, but now there were a little short-handed.  
Kankuro felt pride that his sister considered him strong and smart enough to take a jounin mission, but she still signed him up as a refugee.  
When he looked into the face of his ...guardian? senpai? he knew they were both in for a rough start.  
"_I get to watch over a KID??_" The jounin yelled when he saw the young man at his door.

Kankuro couldn't help bristling.  
"I'm not a kid! I'm almost fifteen and will be chuunin in a few months!"  
"A kid...they sent me a kid..." Genma looked frustrated and disappointed.  
Kankuro felt more anger, what did the man expect?? a lovely single Suna girl or something?  
But he took a deep breath and remembered what Temari-nee had sent him to do and tried to calm down. _First impressions, first impressions_.

"Um...my name is Kankuro and...looks like we're going to be together for some time so...hi?"  
Genma let out a sigh, too. He stepped aside. "Come in already or do you want to sleep on the welcome mat?"  
Trying to be most optimistic has he stepped into the threshold, his insides told the Suna-nin that this was going to be a very long day.

------------------------------

"How on Earth could that stupid Shizune put us up together??" Iruka was past disbelief right now and outrage was taking its place.  
"You're asking me?? How should I know?? And does this mean all this crap is yours?" Kakashi threw the boxes at Iruka, keeping in mind that it would not be a good idea to throw anything sharper and faster, this was a fellow Konohan, after all.  
"Hey, watch it, this is my stuff!" Iruka bent down to pick up his scattered papers and glared at Kakashi.  
"All right then! If you think you're staying, then there are some house rules you have to follow!" Kakashi folded his arms. Iruka kept glaring.  
"First off, you're not allowed inside, you can sleep on the roof."  
"_What?_"  
"And your stuff goes in the hallway closet, where the mop and other stuff is."  
"This is outrageous! I refuse to bow down to your petty little rules just because just because you feel like making me miserable!" Iruka dumped his boxes in the living room and headed for the door before the impulse to punch the man who was very capable of killing him before he could drop his kunai overwhelmed him.  
"I'm not done with you yet! Where are you going?" Kakashi called after him.  
"Out for LUNCH!!" Iruka screamed back and slammed the door with all his might.

Iruka stomped down the stairs and felt like going over to the Hokage's and complaining personally. But before he could reach a decision, he crashed into someone slightly smaller than himself. He looked down at a young man whose clothes were all black and appeared to have a cat-ears hoodie. His face was painted and the scary effect was accentuated by the furious scowl in his face. Iruka was pretty sure this wasn't a ninja from Konoha.  
"Oh, sorry," he apologized.  
"My bad, I wasn't looking where I was going." Iruka said, still watching the Suna-nin.  
"Are...are you the man who moved into the downstairs flat?...I saw you before me when I was going up..."  
"Yes, it appears I am to move in there, despite my will." Iruka replied  
"Ah...you have problems with...the other person in the apartment too?  
"He's an asshole," Iruka said bluntly. But he felt a pang of sympathy for the young shinobi. The poor guy had just been taken away from his home by a war and first thing in Konoha was a bad room-mate. Poor sod.  
"Hey, tell you what. I was going out for a little air and maybe some lunch. I know a ramen stand where they make the best pork ramen in town." Iruka smiled, "since you're new here, how about we go for lunch together?"  
The scowl visibly lessened from Kankuro's face. He knew he shouldn't trust strangers too much, but it felt as if Iruka was the first person who said anything nice to him ever since he got to Konoha.  
"Yeah, thanks, that would be nice. By the way, my name is Kankuro...of the Sand."  
"Hajimemashite Kankuro, I'm Iruka."

----------------------------------  
Iruka enjoyed eating ramen with the unusually shy shinobi from Suna.  
Kankuro told him that puppeteering was his life and when his "room-mate" laughed at Karasu he had left in order not to kill the stupid jounin.  
_Seems that jounin have no manners or respect when it comes to dealing with other people_ Iruka concluded.  
He knew he had to go back to the flat and face Kakashi in due time, but now he was content speaking to Kankuro.  
Despite having confided him his dislike for Genma, Iruka felt that Kankuro was still not telling him something that was bothering him, but that that something was rather more personal.  
"Is there a covered training ground in this village?" Kankuro suddenly asked.  
"Huh?" asked Iruka, going out of his reverie.  
"A training ground that is not visible to everyone, so a ninja can practice his secret techniques."  
"Yeah, the Forest Stage, do you want to see it?"  
"Yes, please."

When they got to the log where Gai practiced his Lotus, Iruka sensed that Kankuro needed some Alone Time.  
"Hey...so, if you even need to talk to someone about your shitty jounin room-mate, I'm downstairs now, OK?"  
"Yeah..." answered Kankuro absent-mindedly.  
Iruka stayed a few more moments and then left in a puff of smoke.

Kankuro breathed. He took Karasu off his back.  
He stared at the beaten log.  
In one movement, this all his might, Karasu's weapons struck the log from all directions and then some.  
"AAAAAARRRGHHHHHH!" Kankuro screamed.  
Then he fell on his knees and started crying.  
He had never missed his younger brother more.  
His tom-boyish sister.  
His stupid _dead_ father.  
He got up and started tearing the log to splinters.


	7. Chapter 7

Iruka took a deep breath. He was actually tired enough to be ready to not argue with the jounin as soon as he came in. He had gone for a walk around the academy after leaving Kankuro at the training ground.

It was now rather late in the night. Iruka knocked on the door to be polite and then used the key they had given him.

Inside was the legendary jounin. Kakashi also looked like he had cooled off too.

"I talked to Shizune, she says they are busy arranging partners enough as is without me bringing my personal preferences into it." His tone had a finality to it.

"So...truce..?" Iruka didn't want to sound too hopeful, but he needed a rest.

Kakashi shrugged his shoulders, then motioned him to follow.

They went into the living room, and Kakashi motioned towards two doors.

"This is MY room, which you are not to enter, under pain of death and torture." Kakashi gestured to the door on the right. "And this," he waved his hand towards the door on the left, "is your room, previously my library. Now all my Icha Icha collection is in a stack in my room and will probably suffer damage because you decided to move in here."

"Gee you have my deepest sympathies." This earned him a glare from the Copy-nin, but no violence ensued.

"Well, I put your boxes in there, so now stop bothering me." Kakashi went in his room and closed the door.

Iruka sighed again and opened the door to his new room.

It wasn't too bad. There were a few dust bunnies in the corners and the place where the bookshelf had been was outlined with a layer of dust.

He could sweep tomorrow; right now he was too tired.

He was about to plop into bed for a good night's sleep, when he noticed something.

He didn't _have_ a bed.

He had left his bed at his former apartment assuming the refugee who took his place would need it.

And Iruka had just assumed that whoever he moved in with would have one ready.

With a grunt of frustration, he went into the living room again and knocked on Kakashi's door.

"What?" Iruka could hear the boredom from behind the door. He opened it to see the jounin without his vest seated on his bed, his bedside lamp on. Iruka stepped in.

"Kakashi, I don't have a mattress."

"Do I care?"

"Where do I sleep?"

"I already said: the roof, I don't like to repeat myself." He didn't even look up from his book.

Iruka's eyebrow twitched. "I thought you were joking."

"Why would I joke about something like that?"

"You really are the biggest asshole in Konoha, aren't you?" Iruka decided he had enough and that he was going to play his cards now. "Anko was right about you."

The jounin stopped reading. He looked up to his junior, who was trying his best to keep a serious face. How much did he know?

"What did she say?"

Iruka hoped Kakashi didn't notice the glimmer in his eye when he saw that he had his attention. He hoped that what he had overheard from a drunken conversation a week before would be enough to fool the older shinobi.

"Oh, nothing important, just that she can't wait to get back into your bed." Iruka waited a little for the words to sink in, "So...maybe I'll just trade places with her. That will probably suit you better anyway."

"Er..."

Before Kakashi could answer though, Iruka made his way back to his room and picked up his box.

"So I'll just be going now, shall I? Do you mind carrying that box out for me?"

"Iruka, wait. Maybe we can work something out."

"Oh no, I couldn't impose."

As Iruka turned to go out, he found his path blocked.

"You're not going anywhere, leave that box here." The jounin commanded.

_Success_.

"So where am I sleeping?" Iruka kept his smile of triumph off his face.

"In my bed."

"Where are YOU sleeping?"

"In my bed."

Iruka took a full minute to register this.

"NO," he said when he realized what Kakashi meant.

"It's not like you have a say in the matter." Kakashi was still blocking his path.

Iruka felt fidgety.

"You like women, right...? You were with Anko..."

"I don't like Anko, now get in there already." Kakashi half-shoved Iruka into his bedroom.

Once inside, Iruka maneuvered himself to one side of the bed, while Kakashi was in the other.

"Will you relax?? I'm not into doing it with men! Especially not you!"

Iruka still felt fidgety.

"Erm...don't cross the invisible line, OK?"

"Sheesh, if you're SO worried, sleep on the roof like I told you from the beginning!"

Iruka ignored this and took off his chuunin vest. He kept a kunai in his hand and slipped under the covers.

Kakashi shook his head, got into bed, turned his back to Iruka and started reading again.

---------------------

"Quit hogging the blankets!"

"Hogging the blankets?? I barely have any myself! And you have me on the edge of the bed, I'm gonna fall off!"

"That's not true, you look very comfy with all that space you have."

"There is plenty of room on the floor if you don't like it then!!"

Kakashi turned over, taking most of the blanket with him, leaving Iruka cold. Next thing he knew, his face was full of pillow.

"Baka pervert!!!"

"Wanna fight, you half-assed chuunin??"

A pillow fight ensued . Kakashi regretted giving his lumpy pillow to Iruka now that it was proved its striking power potential. Iruka kept aiming for his head but Kakashi knew that if he got Iruka's solar plexus, he could get the wind out of him and gain advantage.

Feathers floated everywhere.

A truce was declared when Kakashi decided that holding his pillow over Iruka's face over an extended period of time was going to land more problems than it solved and Iruka got tired of kicking Kakashi's ribs to let him breathe.

Both of them panting, they settled again into opposite sides of the bed and this time Iruka's breathing evened out in a few moments and Kakashi's followed soon after.

----------------------------------------------

The dream had been really weird. He had been in his house, waiting for enemy ANBUs to try to surprise him. Asuma was going to help him so he hid in his closet and Gai tried to hide behind a chair and, surprisingly, he fit behind. When the enemy ANBU did get in and Kakashi cut down the first two and the third tried to stab him with a...pitchfork knife? The weapon had morphed on its trajectory to his face.

Then Kakashi woke up.

He looked dazedly around his room, checking to see if there any more pitchfork-wielding enemies around.

None, good.

It was then when he noticed a pressure on his chest. Not a pressure as if someone had tied him to immobilize him, but as if someone had dropped a weight on him. And it was warm.

When Kakashi tried to move he now could feel that this something was wrapped all around him: his waist and his legs. What really unnerved him was the fact that whatever this thing was, it was in bed with him, under his covers .

A shudder ran through him. _What the hell?_

He couldn't imagine what fiendish device the enemy had thought of now, or which enemy it was this time, but now he was awake.

He roughly pulled back the covers.

And then his jaw hit the floor.

Curled around him as if he was some sort of comfort plush toy was Iruka.

It took several minutes for Kakashi's brain to reboot.

And when it did, it took more time to decide an appropriate course of action.

That apparently took too much time because Iruka woke up too in the meanwhile.

Kakashi didn't know to be afraid or to laugh when he saw Iruka's expression at finding himself in such a position.

Iruka's brain was quicker than the jounin's this time.

"WHAT THE CRAP???"

------------------------------

-------------------

Genma woke up to shouts coming from downstairs.

He frowned. Kakashi's place was usually quiet and as devoid of life as he could wish for. But then again, someone had recently moved in and Kakashi, too, might have issues.

His frown became a scowl. That darned Suna kid had not come home all night. And they were probably going to blame him if something happened.

Life was becoming increasingly complicated and not for the better.

He sighed and put a senbon in his mouth.


	8. Chapter 8

"Oi."  
Kankuro refused to open his eyes, the mantle of sleepiness hanging almost protectively over him.  
Waking up would be facing the world.  
"OI."  
_Go away_, thought Kankuro as he rolled over and he discovered that wherever he was lying, it was wet.  
"Wake up!" The kick in his ribs was too annoying to ignore. He opened his eyes. He was still in the Konoha training grounds. Apparently he fell asleep there. He sat up and sneezed. The ground was wet with dew. _Brilliant._

He looked around for his aggressor. In front of him was a boy he recognized from the chuunin exams as a Hyuuga. He vaguely recalled the beginning of the second examination because that day he bad been very wrapped up in not failing the invasion.

Which had failed.

With horrible repercussions.

Trying to not let his thoughts deviate there, he noticed that the Hyuuga boy wasn't wearing a chuunin vest. So he hadn't passed either. That made them equals, sort of.

"What do you want, Hyuuga-san?" asked Kankuro, because he couldn't remember the boy's name.

Neji raised an eyebrow. He had recognized Kankuro of the Sand, brother to the famous Gaara in his usual training grounds. What was odd, aside from the fact that the Suna boy _was_ there, was that all of the training logs were torn to splinters. He wondered if there was a connection.

"What are you doing sleeping outside, Kankuro-kun?" He usually didn't beat around the bush.

"Nothing important, maybe I _like_ sleeping outside." Kankuro wasn't in the mood to be nice.

Neji continued to look at him. So he didn't remember his name. _How rude_, Neji thought, since he had gone on the trouble of remembering Kankuro's name.

But then again, the Suna had gone through a lot recently, this boy probably had a lot on his mind, too.

"The name's Neji, and did you tear all these logs to pieces?"

"Maybe, why do you ask, Neji-kun?"

"Because they were our sturdy training logs, we used them for practice and stuff." He smirked. "Not even Lee's Lotus could make splinters out of the main one."

"The main one?"  
"The one on whose remains you're sitting on."

"Oh." Kankuro answered, not really interested.

He was more awake now, and remembered the reason he had left Genma last night. He didn't know whether to go back to the apartment or what to do with himself if he didn't. At least he could talk to Neji for a while. He dimly recalled something about a family branch or grudge during the second part of the chuunin exam, but that was foggy. _Don't go there._

"Since I don't have logs to train with, will_you_ be a replacement?"  
The question caught Kankuro completely off guard.  
"Train, with you? What good will I be?"  
"Oh, you know, you could hide and I could find you, we could have a ninjutsu battle, I could set up traps for you to find, the usual drill. What part of it are you confused about?"  
"Erm." Kankuro scratched his nose. Were all Konoha genins this upfront?  
_A distraction would be nice..._

"Well, um, all right." Kankuro didn't smile, but the scowl was gone too.  
Neji's mouth was impassive, as always. "And you know what?" Kankuro turned to see the young unrecognized genius. "Gai-sensei is going to have _kittens_ over the logs. Freaked-out Gai sensei is something to be watched. From a safe distance that is."  
Neji turned quickly so Kankuro couldn't see his smirk.  
Stretching and feeling lighter, Kankuro followed.

--------------------------------------  
"Please enlighten me again, Iruka-_sensei_, how come finding _your_ arms wrapped around me becomes _my_ fault?"

Iruka kept his eyes on the kitchen counter so the jounin wouldn't be able to see his blush.  
"It isn't."  
"The why on earth did I get slapped, may I ask?"  
"I said I was sorry. I was surprised, that's all."  
_  
Well beyond surprised I might add_, Iruka was thinking to himself. It wasn't finding himself wrapped around stupid Kakashi what made him snap, but the way his body, more specifically, his _crotch_, had reacted to it.  
Iruka could have laughed with relief when Kakashi mentioned that he didn't want any kunai pressed against his thigh any time in the near future. At least Iruka_ hoped_ that Kakashi thought that it was a kunai what had been there, and not, in fact, an artifact of an entirely different nature.

His blush might give him away and Iruka knew it.

As for Kakashi, his brain told him that kunai were not that blunt, but when he analyzed the alternatives, he told his brain to _SHUT UP_ and concentrated on not having a nosebleed. He hated the way his mind wanted to corrupt him, because he most certainly did _not_ like being randomly hugged by another man or noticing his...shut up brain, shutupshutup. Kakashi held his hand to his mouth and was glad that his mask covered his traitorous nose. Although being hugged by a man _other_ than Gai certainly had it's pros...  
"ENOUGH!"

The expression on Iruka's face told him he said that out loud.

"I'm tired of you! I'm going to the memorial!"

Without further ado he leaped out the window.

Iruka stood staring at the window for a while and then cataloged that action under Random Things That Jounins Do and turned to see the clock. Darn, he didn't have any time to fix breakfast. Should he just buy out?

He stared curiously at the refrigerator. Maybe...

He opened it and inspected its contents. There were several half-eaten rice bowls, some of which seemed to be in developing stages of becoming intelligent beings and establishing a colony in the fruit drawer. On the door was a carton of juice which claimed to be orange but the contents were murky red. On the upper shelves was a carton of milk that looked and smelt fresh enough, some dog food and some take-out from Tabemono-ikimasu.  
Iruka looked at the box. Inside there was squid stir-fry and some side noodles.  
_Oh what the heck_, Iruka said to himself as he reheated the stir-fry and served himself.


	9. Chapter 9

Kakashi didn't actually return until about eight that night.

That gave Iruka time to snoop around the apartment after returning from school. Most of the items in Kakashi's room were booby-trapped, of course, but everything else was fairly safe. Nursing his injured fingers, which had got caught in the dresser trap, he left to buy groceries and a mattress. He was wondering how to take the things upstairs when he saw a familiar painted face.

"Good afternoon Kankuro, could you help me take this to my flat?"

"Nn? Oh, yeah, ok .."

Upon closer inspection, Iruka could see tiredness under the paint. He wondered if he was getting along better with Genma.

Iruka made a move to grab one end of the mattress when Kankuro said, "No, I got it," and lifted the whole thing with surprising fluidity. They walked up the stairs as if the futon didn't weigh more than a pillow.

Iruka stared after him for a stunned moment and followed him, almost dropping his grocery bags.

When he got to his door, Kankuro was waiting for him.

"How did you do that?"

"I had my chakra points pressed this morning. First to resist my chakra flow, but after practice Neji pressed the other points, the ones that make chakra flow more freely, and ever since I've felt weird."

Iruka gaped at him.

Kankuro suddenly felt self-conscious. He looked away. "What?"

"You trained with a Hyuuga? Neji no less???"

"Erm...yeah?"

Iruka gaped even more. It was a known fact that Gai professed whenever the teachers got together that Neji always trained alone Gentle Fist. He wouldn't even allow Lee to watch, much to Gai's annoyance.

The fact that Kankuro had managed to meet, talk and_ train_ with Hyuuga Neji left Iruka momentarily speechless.

Growing more uncomfortable under the older man's gaze, Kankuro bowed slightly and left.

Iruka was just taking out the groceries and wondering what to make of what he was just told when a cacophony erupted from the flat upstairs.

Iruka was startled and he looked up to the ceiling, trying to make out words from the yelling. 

"Staying out all night!!...no sense of responsibility!!"  
"...as if you cared!!...at least PRETEND that your worry wasn't about your rep...!!!!"

Iruka didn't know what to do. He couldn't burst in on someone else's argument, but he didn't want Genma patronizing Kankuro.  
He couldn't do anything, in the end, because at that moment the legendary jounin decided to show up.

"Yo."  
"Hi."  
"Why is Genma freaking out?"  
"Beats me."

Kakashi slightly raised his visible eyebrow a bit, then shrugged on his "whatever" look and opened the fridge. He turned to Iruka.  
"Where's my stir-fry?"  
"Er...I ate it?"  
"Is that a question?"  
"No?"  
"Is that another question?"  
"Never mind." Iruka went back to his groceries.  
Kakashi looked around the fridge.  
"You ate ALL of it??" The look he had in his face said _what a pig._  
"There wasn't that much! You barely left me any!"  
"I didn't leave YOU any!"   
Iruka glared and turned to put away the miso sulking.

Kakashi developed an anger mark.  
"NOW what am I supposed to eat??"  
Iruka glared again.  
"I can cook you know??"  
"Prove it." Kakashi sat back and waited for Iruka to make a fool of himself.  
"What's your challenge?"  
"Rice with veggies on the side."  
With his nose in the air, Iruka started to cook. Half-way through, he decided he needed a condiment so he rummaged the fridge once more. He wrinkled his nose.

"When are you getting rid of this? There's disgusting fungus in here!"  
"Are you cooking or what?"  
"Clean out the fridge first."  
"Why?"  
"Because I'm not going to put good food in with that mold culture you have in there."  
"Who are you to tell me...?"  
It was now Iruka's turn to develop an anger mark. "Do it."  
"But it's my experiment!"  
"Experi--it's disgusting! And one of them is _moving_!"  
"Really? cool!"  
Kakashi ignored the look of utter disgust on Iruka face to examine what once had been pork and lettuce.  
"I'm gonna name it." He said with his crescent smile. "I think I'll call him Sugihiro, Sugo for short."

Iruka gave up. He continued to cook while making a mental note to make sure that Sugo's time on Earth was notably short.  
When he finished, he was fairly proud of his work. Sure, it was no gourmet cooking, but was better than instant meals.  
He served two portions and sat opposite of Kakashi. The jounin stared at him.  
"What?"  
"Turn around."  
"Huh? Why?"  
"I don't want you to see my face."  
Iruka glared for the umpteenth time and turned around with a huff. Kakashi's chopsticks returned to his empty bowl surprisingly fast. Iruka tried to catch a glance of the mysterious face but he could only see a mask being pulled up.

"Well? Was his majesty _satisfied_ with his pious and modest meal?"  
Kakashi crossed his arms and grunted. "It was _edible_."  
"You owe me a favor now, since it seems I'm going to cook from now on." Iruka knew that most of the fridge's moldy contents had once been take-outs. From the state of the kitchen when he had started cooking, he doubted Kakashi ever used his stove and pots at all, except perhaps to steam open an envelope.  
He was used to cooking and it seemed like a waste to him to cook only for himself when cooking for more two people didn't take extra effort. But he sure as hell wasn't doing it for _free_.

"Wait a second, I thought you were cooking for me because you stole my octopus." Kakashi huffed.  
Iruka did his best on imitating Ibiki in terms of looks of contempt. It wasn't hard, he was a teacher, after all.  
They glared a while but then Kakashi relented a little. It was hard to be intimidating to the man who had just given him the most delicious meal he had had in _months_. He would never admit it of course. He turned to watch one of his wall scrolls while thought. An idea dawned on him.

"I'll do your laundry from now on."  
As last night, it took Iruka some time to process the idea and blush furiously. Kakashi thought he was suffering from deja vu.  
"I noticed that you put everything together in one pile and everything comes out the same color. If I do your laundry, your chuunin vests will be greener and your uniforms darker. Besides, don't you want your underwear away from your sweaty shirts?"

"Why would I care about that? And I don't want you sniffing my shorts!"  
"What! Do you think I'm a pervert??"  
"It's a well-documented fact, not much thinking required."  
"What are you implying??"  
"That book you carry around everywhere is sort of a tell-tale sign, I'd say."  
"Have you even READ Icha Icha?? "  
"Why would I read PORN??? I'm a SCHOOLTEACHER, in case you'd forgotten!"  
"Who says it's porn?? At least read the back cover!!"  
"Everyone knows it's porn, JIRAIYA wrote it."   
"Hey! Don't you insult the great Sannin! He's a genius!"

-----------------------  
At this point the shouts from downstairs were actually louder than Genma's had been not so long ago. Kankuro wondered if they were getting back at them for being so noisy earlier.

As he rolled over in his bed, he decided he didn't care what Genma said, he _was_ going to see Neji again tomorrow. It wasn't fair that he tried to keep him away from the only kid his age who would talk to him. 

_Tomorrow_ he thought and drifted to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Iruka opened his eyes and closed them again. He tried opening them without the room spinning.  
No such luck.  
He noticed that his stomach was threatening to spin, too. Iruka sighed and drew his covers over his face. He was far too tired to get up and fix breakfast for himself and that good-for-nothing jounin.

In fact he doubted he could even stomach any breakfast beyond a glass of juice.  
_Man_, he thought as he looked at his alarm clock, _it's time to get up but I don't have the energy_. He wondered what was wrong with him, since he hadn't overexerted himself yesterday, only yelled a lot at his moronic partner.

The door opened. So the stupid jounin was back from his emergency midnight mission then. Iruka felt so weak he couldn't even open his mouth to snap something at Kakashi for making noise that hurt his head.

"Oi! Cook! Where's my breakfast? Earn your keep!"  
That annoyed Iruka enough to sit up suddenly. But the regretted it immediately. He howled in pain while clutching his stomach and almost fell off his bed.  
"Iruka?" Iruka was to dizzy to notice there was actual concern in Kakashi's voice.

He dashed to the bathroom and had just barely enough time to lift the lid up before he threw up.  
"Iruka!"  
Iruka felt like he was going to pass put, but the painful convulsions in his stomach wouldn't let him. Distantly he felt his hair being pushed out of his face.

At last it was over.  
Iruka wanted to get up and stop looking at the toilet bowl but his limbs wouldn't respond.  
He wished his head would stop throbbing. Suddenly heaven was merciful and put something nice and cool against his cheek. Iruka sighed in relief and pressed against it.  
"Better?"

Iruka opened his eyes. The heaven-sent relief was a glass of water and holding it was Kakashi.  
His brain protested against it, but Iruka was too dizzy, so he took the glass and drank gratefully. He looked at his saviour gratefully, mainly because he didn't have the strength to say anything, and because he wouldn't ever thank his stupid flat-mate for anything.  
Kakashi looked away.  
"Erm...can you walk?"

Iruka tired to nod but a fresh wave of pain made him clutch his abdomen. He felt two strong arms grabbing his shoulders and pulling him upright. In a daze he was walked to his room and he was laid down on bed again.

"Oi." Kakashi spoke softly, trying to get the sick man's attention gently.  
"I'm going out to get you something for your fever and your stomach, OK?"  
"Nmnnn...stay here..." Iruka wrapped his arms around the jounin sitting on his bed. Kakashi tensed. _He BETTER be asleep_, he thought as he tried to untangle himself. He stopped when he saw the teacher's face. It was calm and restful, contrasting to what had happened a few minutes ago. _He almost looks like a child _, Kakashi brushed a few locks out of the chuunin's face.

The legendary copy-nin froze when he realized he was _petting_ Iruka. He sat up immediately, glaring a the offending hand. _Stupid, stupid,_ he muttered as he started for the door. Why was he even caring for this stupid chuunin? He was the one who set up the stupid pranks, if anything he should be getting _even_.  
But then it would be wrong to abuse a sick person. He would wait until he was better and _then_ he would really get even. Why was he sick anyways?

Kakashi hoped it wasn't contagious. Unfortunately fever and vomit heralded a lot of different diseases, many minor but others deadly. Good thing he always wore a mask.  
Halfway out the door, he remembered their argument yesterday about putrid food in the fridge spoiling the good food or something like that. He shook his head at the thought of Sugo creating so much trouble and pain.

------------------------------

-----------  
Iruka woke with a start. Last thing he remembered was drinking some divine water and asking his mother to stay with him until he felt better. Wait...his mother? She was long gone. He lived alone now. No...he lived with a irresponsible jounin with no sense of respect for other people or their feelings.  
Could he...?  
_Nah_, he said to himself as he drew the covers over his head once more,_ not Kakashi, he wouldn't_.  
Whatever his senses told him it couldn't have been Kakashi's chakra that was lingering around his arms.  
No, not ever.  
He drifted to sleep again.

---------------------------------------------  
"Stay _still_." Kakashi's voice growled with menace and anger.  
Iruka glared and did his best not to fidget. He couldn't help it, the stupid thermometer _was_ really cold. He knew he was getting better from his fever, but him blushing from Kakashi watching shirtless was surely _not_ going to help.  
They caught each other staring and both looked away at the same time.  
_Seriously_, thought Iruka as he was glad that his room had a window to get distracted on. The past two days had been the two weirdest of Iruka's life. Between feverish stupors and alert hours of wakefulness, Kakashi had somehow managed to be his nurse _and_ an asshole.

He brought him food and medicine, snide remarks, sarcasm and embarrassment whenever he could. At least he didn't throw cold pills at Iruka anymore.  
Iruka idly wondered how the jounin managed to make his body comfortable while making _him_ as uncomfortable as possible.

At least Iruka had talked him out of buying a rectal thermometer. Or maybe Kakashi had felt compassion. Either way _that_ embarrassing situation had been avoided.  
As Iruka became better he had been able to defend himself from humiliation more and more, but he was not well just yet.

"OK, give it to me."  
Iruka took the thermometer from under his armpit and waited for the verdict.  
"Looks like you're going to school tomorrow."  
"Gee, mom, I don't wanna." Iruka stuck out his tongue, a gesture he had learned Kakashi could not retaliate.  
Kakashi glared and then walked out of the room, taking out his Icha Icha as he did so.

After a while, Iruka decided that he was well enough to take a bath, which he felt he direly needed after sweating from the fever.  
He swung his legs over the bed and stretched. Idly he wondered what time it was. It felt good to rest so much on a weekday, and he would have more rest since tomorrow was Friday.  
"Oi! Stupid! I'm taking a bath!"  
"That's more information than I needed!" The pervert answered from the kitchen.  
Iruka smiled to himself as he closed the bathroom door and started undressing. Now that he could think more clearly, his brain started devising plans to prank the one-eyed nin. He would start with the food of course, but he shouldn't make it too obvious or else Kakashi would get back immediately with his laundry. Iruka seriously hoped that the other man hadn't done anything already with his shorts, he would have to be on his toes when dressing.

Iruka steeped into the water when it was his taste and examined the toilette products. He had brought his own bar of soap, but it looked like he was going to have to buy shampoo too. The only things Kakashi had was an unlabeled bottle that squirted out purple goo and an anti-flea one. Iruka wrinkled his nose at the smell of the goo and knew that the anti-flea one had insecticide, so he washed his hair with only water.

He was halfway through soaping himself when he heard noise outside the door.  
"I have a mission, Cook."  
"Do I care?"  
"I need my dog tag."  
"What's that have to do with me?"   
Suddenly the bathroom door was open and Kakashi was inside, somehow looking at him through the shower curtain.  
"I left it in here."  
Iruka blushed and tried to cover himself even though the stippled fabric of the shower curtain was still between them.  
"Get out! You pervert!! I'll give you your stupid dog tag when I'm finished!"  
"Maa, I need right now." A hand came from behind the shower curtain, snatched the dog tag on the tap and was away before Iruka could slap it.  
"I'm not going to peek at you, princess, you don't have anything a have never seen before."  
"Ha! That's what YOU think." Iruka slapped himself mentally, what in Kami's name possessed him to say that?  
"Is that an invitation, princess?" Iruka could feel Kakashi leering from behind the shower curtain.  
"You can play with your chuunin later, Kakashi, we have to go now." Asuma's voice was filled with amusement.  
"I'M NOT GAY!!!!" Iruka screamed after the two chuckling jounin as they departed.

Shortly afterwards, the teacher was filling Kakashi's purple shampoo with purple dye he had from a school project.  
This was _war._


	11. Chapter 11

Iruka couldn't keep himself from grinning.  
He was now sitting at his desk at school (finally), some reports on edible plants in his hands but he wasn't really looking at them. He almost giggled, but he kept his composure in front of his students. 

He hadn't booby-trapped the _whole_ house, but he was pretty certain that Kakashi would encounter something nasty VERY soon. Oooooh, Iruka hoped it would be what remained of Sugo. He just regretted that he wouldn't be able to see Kakashi's face when it hit him. He also regretted that HE had to live in that apartment too. The jounin would figure out who set the traps since there was only one person with such free access to his home. 

Iruka pretended to be busy over his lesson plan to ignore Konohamaru's whining about why they had to figure out which kind of snail was poisonous and caught the paper airplane between his fingers without looking.  
"Detention, Moegi."

He wrote a note on his papers and then he started tapping his pen repeatedly as he thought of a battle plan. Hmmmm, his advantage was food, of course, and teaching school gave him a scowl that got some points too. But he had put his scrolls under his bed. He knew that was the most obvious place in the world to hide something, but he couldn't think of anywhere else. Maybe he should mix them with his normal papers, but that risked Kakashi looking at them casually. Plus, maybe Kakashi was going to smear his school papers with ink when he found the lizard in his pillow, mused Iruka as he reminded himself to make copies of everything important.

The bell rang. Iruka almost startled.  
"Um...class dismissed."  
Battle plan, battle plan. He should go find out something about Kakashi in the records. Maybe some dirt would come up.  
Iruka snickered when he was sure there were no kids in the room. He hadn't had this much fun in _ages_.

Iruka had to admit, it was good to be well enough to teach again, but a day of chasing down Konohamaru and his crew had taken the wind out of him. He was tired. His shoulders and back ached as he let himself into Kakashi's apartment.  
Upon entering Iruka noticed that at least three of his traps had gone off. He was proud of himself; the traps affected the victim, but they didn't make a mess, so Iruka wouldn't be stuck scrubbing walls.

He chuckled to himself as he entered the living room.  
And immediately walked into the Jounin, who was hanging off the ceiling.

"DAMMIT! KAKASHI!" Iruka rubbed the top of his head, where the Jounin's head protector had socked him. Kakashi had been almost as surprised as Iruka, he rubbed his head too, but with less pain. Iruka looked up to see that the jounin had been disabling his traps. His spirit fell a little. So he couldn't outsmart a genius that easily. Never mind, he still had a few tricks up his sleeve.

"Having fun?"  
"You'll be sorry when I'm done with you." The silver-haired nin paused from inspecting the lamp to glare. "You don't know who you're messing with."  
"Hm." Iruka didn't make a coherent response. He tried to be cool about it.

Kakashi returned to the lamp. It wasn't long before he found some Kusai petals. They were fresh, but Kakashi knew that in a few days they could stink up the whole apartment. _Bastard_, he thought as he crushed them in his fingers, _he knows I'm sensitive to smells!_  
Iruka had probably put them there with that in mind. And to think he had thought he was _cute_ a few days ago. Kakashi landed without a sound. He would have to plan his retaliation soon, before the stupid chuunin got ahead of him again. A disgusted gasp coming from Iruka's bedroom told him that his little gift on the bed had been found. At least that was some satisfaction.

------------------------------

-----------  
Kankuro hid between the branches. He was tired and sweaty, but he didn't mind. He was actually figuring out this 360 rotation thing. A few more attacks and he would have a chance to land a blow. The hard part was that he had to cut the strings as soon as he set his puppets, otherwise Neji would have it easy. He had learned that.

He took three of Karasu's fingers and aimed well, he needed to make EVERY attack count. In one movement, he threw the fingers, snapped his chakra string and leapt to another branch to better see the results.

Neji deflected them, of course. He didn't spin this time though, Kankuro had made sure of that. Sanshuuo had a firm grip on Neji's legs, preventing him from moving from that spot. If it had been the puppet alone Neji would have dismantled him in no time, but since Kankuro kept throwing pointy objects at him, he was distracted.

There was a pause in the rain of offensives. Neji scanned the area, but he knew that the Suna nin was just out of his range. Kankuro seemed to learn fast. In the few days they had trained together, he had already learned most of the limits of Neji's Byakuugan and soon enough he would start to use them to his advantage. Despite being a genius, Neji was slow on figuring out THIS opponent. Kankuro had no special ninjutsu or genjutsu that Neji could exploit and he didn't do taijutsu, his puppets did. Of course he had used the chakra strings Kankuro used to control his puppets to use the Gentle Fist, but it got incredibly harder once the Suna boy figured out how Neji was beating him.

Whistling. Neji tilted his head backwards and the poisoned needle missed his face. Kankuro had taken the poison that killed out of them, but they still paralyzed. Plus he didn't fancy being stabbed. He started as the needle embedded itself in a tree.  
Suddenly pain exploded at the back of his head. It was so unexpected that Neji completely lost his balance.  
"OWWW!"

He opened his eyes. He was staring at an ant, struggling to carry a crumb bigger than itself. His head pounded, but he still tried to get up. He was a Konoha Shinobi and a Hyuuga at that, he had pride.   
That's why he tried to shrug off Kankuro when he came rushing to his side.  
"Dammit! Neji, are you all right?? I didn't think I hit you that hard..."  
Neji noticed that the pressure in his legs was gone. So practice was over.

Kankuro helped him sit down against a nearby tree. Without thinking, he put his hands around Neji's head feeling for the bump. Neji's world stopped spinning and was _very_ still. This was the closest thing to a hug he had received since he had stopped Lee and Gai from damaging his ribs permanently. Only he wasn't going to stop Kankuro. He was going to let him do as he wished.  
Wait...that sounded really wrong.

Kankuro's hands were gone.  
"I don't think I gave you a concussion, but you should sit down for a while, OK?" He bowed. "I'm sorry, I overdid it."  
Neji looked at him with those blank eyes of his.  
"It's okay, you're strong."

------------------------------------------  
Iruka was wondering what was wrong with Kakashi. Maybe he was pretending to be weak, a ninja tactic to lure him into a false sense of security.   
But as the afternoon wore on and Kakashi became slower and slower in answering Iruka's remarks and finding bubble wrap around his things, Iruka felt something resembling concern.  
It seemed that Kakashi noticed that something was off with him too. More than once, Iruka caught him staring at him with an odd frown on his face.

Out of compassion, Iruka stopped his pranks when Kakashi nearly choked on the wasabi he slipped in the rice. Clearly the man was not himself. Any self-respecting _chuunin_ inspected any food given by a declared enemy, jounins usually checked even with their own mothers.  
Iruka was wondering if he should unrig some of the traps he had set in the bedroom when he heard a frustrated cry from the bathroom.

Fuming Kakashi came out and stomped to Iruka, waving a thermometer in his face.  
"38.4 degrees Celsius!!! I'm surprised my clothes aren't on fire! This is YOUR fault!"  
The scarred man was more worried about the thermometer slipping from his hand and breaking than about Kakashi's ailment.  
"How is this my fault?" He tried to calm the jounin down, lest they both get mercury poisoning.

"You were contagious!!! You got me sick! You did this to me!" Kakashi lost some fight when Iruka managed to get the thermometer away from him. "And I thought we were _friends_!"  
"_What?_" Either Kakashi's fever was making him delirious, or he was messing with him, but Iruka still couldn't believe his ears. Friends? _Friends??_ They were declared enemies!! They had absolutely _nothing_ in common, least of all friendship!

But before Iruka could say any of this Kakashi collapsed on him. Iruka took a chance and removed the hita-ate and touched his forehead. He DID have a high fever after all.  
For the first time in several months Iruka felt helpless.  
He only knew first aid from his ninja training, but the jounin wasn't bleeding. The scarred man tried to think. OK, so first, he should get him to bed and try to cool him off. Yeah, that works. And then...and then...  
Iruka decided to worry about that when he got there.

He took Kakashi's arm and put over his shoulder and walked him to the bedroom as gently as he could, which was awkward since Kakashi was taller than him. Once there He removed the older nin's vest and shirt. Then he paused.  
If he removed the mask, there was going to be hell to pay, but was REALLY curious. Iruka's didn't move for a few minutes. Then he stared to move his hands towards the mask. Just then Kakashi moaned and said "no rabbit stew for me" and rolled over. Iruka lost his nerve.  
After a moment's hesitation, he removed the pants also, figuring he would get in less trouble for that than the mask.

Suddenly Iruka realized that he had been staring at Kakashi's stripped blue boxers for more than five minutes. He slapped the sides of his head and cursed and thanked the gods the man was asleep. He covered the jounin with a blanket and went to get a towel and some cool water.

An hour later Iruka was in his bedroom, indecision taking hold of him again. _Well_, he said to himself, _this is about the only time I know for sure he's not going to walk in on me_. Cautiously, he pulled out one of his scrolls from under the bed, got some ink ready and began his work.

--------------------------------------------------------------------  
Kankuro couldn't stop staring at the ceiling of his own bedroom. He couldn't forget how Neji looked at him that afternoon, he just couldn't. But it was wrong, wrong, wrong. He turned to see his alarm clock. Past midnight.  
At this rate, he was never going to fall asleep. He gave in.  
Guiltily, he reached between his legs and thought of Neji again.


	12. Chapter 12

_Creak_

Iruka sprang up in bed. He'd heard something.

Suddenly he was wide awake. He sensed bloodlust. Faint, but it was there.

_Creak_

Iruka was very still for a moment. Then he was sure, there was an intruder in the apartment. The step was not Kakashi's, yet it was vaguely familiar.

Soundlessly, he dressed and grabbed his weapons. Before opening his bedroom door, he looked over his shoulder to the scroll he had finished that night. He grabbed that too, it might come in useful.

He slowly opened the door. There was a figure in front of Kakashi's door. The bloodlust was more tangible now. In a movement he taught his students twenty times each week, he stepped behind the intruder and held a kunai to his throat. "Freeze."

The man tilted his head as much as he dared. Now Iruka recognized him. It was Sanka, a guy who worked in the desk duty in the afternoons as Iruka and other chuunin. On the first week Iruka had tried to be nice and be friends but the man had ignored him and kept to himself, sometimes muttering under his breath. He had a mop of brown hair, shorter than standard, a scar on the left side of his face and a zigzag tattoo on the back of his right hand. An average chuunin shinobi in the eyes of everyone.

Until now.

Recognizing Iruka's scar, he tried to elbow his stomach. Iruka had to step back to keep his wind, but he made a tiny incision in Sanka's throat. _Shit_, he thought, keeping his enemy in sight, _he's faster than I thought! And I just lost my surprise advantage_. Iruka went over his possibilities. He chose to let the man attack first, since he knew little about him and he needed time to calculate when to use his scroll. He glared.

Sanka smirked. "What are _you_ doing here Umino? Is Hatake your boyfriend? Or did you become the live-in maid?"

Iruka ignored the taunts. "Hayameru-san, you well know it's illegal to break into a fellow shinobi's house. State your business and maybe we can work it out." From the bloodlust now radiating from the man, the dolphin might as well have asked the clouds not to rain.

The tattooed man's grin widened. "Work something out? Why Umino, you could even help me! You see, for some time now we chuunin have been watched by the higher levels because they think there's a spy among us. Can you believe that? So they started investigating us without our permission, looking into our personal stuff and following us around."

_That explains the break-in in my former apartment_. Iruka grunted non-commitally.

"I knew I was being tailed after a while, but I would never found out who it was until something happened."

"What?"

Sanka almost laughed. "A comrade gave him away! Can you believe it?? A _jounin_, the secretive, stealthy, sneaky, _hidden _jounin had his location and name given away by _another_ jounin. Incredible, I do wonder how they ever survive in those out-of-the-country missions."

From watching Sanka's subtle movements, Iruka was forming a plan for his next attack, but he wasn't ready quite yet.

"Who revealed whom?"

"Might gave Hatake away. I really couldn't believe it when suddenly I heard a crash behind me and I see Might trying to drag Hatake off and announcing to the whole world that they were to have a Running Up and Down the Hill Competition or some crap like that. Hatake took off when he noticed I'd seen him, the coward."

Iruka stopped his plans for a second to write a mental note to punch Gai next time he saw him. And Kakashi hadn't run away. The best thing to do when a quarry noticed your presence was to walk it off since lying could be detected and running was stupid. This moron knew nothing, but he still wasn't going to underestimate him.

Suddenly Sanka's mood darkened. "So are you with me against this rank injustice or not, Umino?"

"I'm afraid not."

They sprang at each other. Apparently the tattooed man wasn't in a hurry to reveal his jutsu either. They threw and parried taijutsu blows and kicks until Iruka saw an opening to the ribs. Using it would leave his left arm and shoulder unprotected, but he took the chance. Before Iruka could make contact however, he saw a flash of jutsu directed at his open arm. He moved back in time to avoid a hit on his arm, but his shoulder took the hit.

Blood splattered on the wall. Iruka threw four kunai and retreated a few steps to examine himself while Sanka dodged. Nothing deep and serious, but he would do well to stop the bleeding. He recalled how earlier that evening he had told himself how he knew first aid but he couldn't stop a fever. He almost smiled at the irony. There was no time for healing right now though. First he had to stop this man from killing a jounin who sure annoyed him, but didn't deserve death. Iruka paused. How had Sanka known Kakashi was feverish?

Dodging shuriken, Iruka leapt over the table and addressed the tattooed man. "Why come tonight of all nights?"  
"Once he didn't show up for three days in a row, I figured something had happened and he was either dead and I didn't have to worry or he was weakened and the job was made easy for me."

"How did you know where he lives?"

Sanka smiled again. Iruka discovered that he really disliked that smile and scowled.

"Since I'm going to kill you anyway, I might as well tell you. I broke into the Ninja Records Room. It's quite easy once you get hold of the passwords."

It was dawning on Iruka that this guy might not have a stupid rank grudge, but that he could be the traitor who had given information to the enemy. Best capture him alive then.

They locked eyes. "I'm bored with this play," Sanka yawned and held up his finger, "I'm going to finish you and Hatake next. Don't think we're equally matched because we're both chuunin, I could have been a jounin but that was too boring for me."

"Uh huh." Iruka took out his scroll and disguised it as a letter bomb, so the tattooed traitor might not suspect his moves.

Time for the final move.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kakashi sat up in bed. His head spun, and he groaned. _Stupid fever._

He wondered what had woken him up. Oh yeah, the sounds of a fight in his living room followed by a thunderclap. _Stupid fever-induced dreams. _

He was thirsty so he decided to get a drink. Pulling on a robe, he noticed that he was in his underwear, yet his mask was still on. _Stupid caring chuunin too. _

Kakashi yawned again and opened his door.

And decided he was still dreaming.

His living room was in chaos. Scrolls where ripped off their walls, the table was overturned and blood decorated all the walls and the floor in splashes. This wasn't what surprised Kakashi; he was more than used to bloody scenes of battle, and this could even be called mild. It wasn't the fact that his home was the setting either; he knew he had enemies everywhere, and once in a while one found out where he lived.

No: it was the fact that Iruka, the mild, warm-hearted, smiling _Iruka_ was standing over the man that Kakashi had been assigned to tail. Apparently Iruka was checking if he still was alive. He muttered something and was putting something away in his vest when he turned to see Kakashi. 

Silence.

"Um...what the hell happened here?"  
"Nothing, Kakashi. You're still dreaming. Go back to bed." Iruka waved his fingers in what he hoped was an eerie fashion. " I command you."

"Right..." The jounin got his drink and decided to go with the dream story since his head hurt too much to make any sense of the mess.  
Before he went into his bedroom, however, the dolphin stopped him.

"Er...since you're dreaming, would you mind doing me a favour? I would never tell the real Iruka of course."  
"Sure, what?"  
_He said yes too quickly_, Iruka decided to attribute this fact to the fever. Just like the friends comment.  
"Summon one of your nin-ken so it can fetch the police."  
"If this is a dream, then why do we need to bother? It'll be solved in the morning."  
"Because...this man is Ibiki's long-lost half brother and Jiraiya's secret son, and if we a accomplish a family reunion you'll be in their good books. Wouldn't you like that?"  
"I was a good ANBU, I'm already in Ibiki's good books."  
"Well...thing is..." Iruka remembered their first night in the apartment, "Ibiki is the head of the Interrogation section of the ANBU, he has influence. If he liked you, he might help you keep Anko out of your hair."  
Kakashi considered.

"All right," he said and bit his finger. Pakkun and a white German Shepherd appeared. The shepherd sniffed at Iruka curiously.  
"Go fetch Ibiki so he can meet his brother and have a party after," Kakashi was smiling under his mask, "It doesn't matter if you bite him since this is a dream."  
"Are you feeling all right there? Are you drunk?" Pakkun couldn't see how his master was happy with the state of his home. Iruka started shaking his head furiously behind Kakashi.  
Pakkun seemed to raise an eyebrow. "OK, we'll fetch Ibiki." They started for the window.  
"Don't forget a medic-nin!" Iruka called after them.

Then he was alone with Kakashi. Why was that making him suddenly nervous? He found out why.  
"Has anyone ever told how sexy you look with your hair down?" Did Kakashi always ask random questions out of the blue like that?  
"Um...I'll go tie it." He started for his door, but Kakashi grabbed his arm.  
"Why? Don't tell me you don't find me alluring."  
"I told you before, I don't like men."  
"I don't think you like girls either, I've seen how you act around them."  
"Like what?"  
"Like you don't care. I did notice however, that you were staring at Izumo when he was adjusting his hita-ate and flipping his hair like he was the star of a shampoo commercial."  
_Momentary slip_, Iruka was getting freaked out from how much Kakashi knew about him. Scratch that, Iruka really started freaking when the jounin moved forward like he was going to pull a move on him or something.

Fortunately, someone knocked at the door.  
"Tch, who is it at this hour?"  
Iruka took the opportunity to shove Kakashi back into his bedroom and on the bed.  
"Maa, careful Iruka, I still don't feel well."  
_That's what you get for trying to molest me!!_ thought the dolphin.  
"Get some sleep already." He closed the door before the jounin could protest.

Genma and Kankuro were at the door, asking what the hell had happened, who was fighting and if there were any survivors. Iruka was glad to talk to someone sane. They were starting to clean up when Ibiki showed up, demanding an explanation for being awakened a few hours before dawn by a pair of dogs who insisted their master had been drugged.

Iruka tried to keep calm and decided he would catch up on his sleep sometime next week.


	13. Chapter 13

"Is he hurt?"

"Not that I know of."

"What's wrong then?"

"He has a fever."

"Anyone can take care of that." _Huff_

"Just take look, OK?"

Kakashi barely registered this conversation going on outside his door. Walking around earlier hadn't done him good; he felt worse than before. He only half-opened his eyes when his bedroom door was yanked open and detecting no bloodlust and, he decided to go back to sleep.

Iruka meanwhile glared at the back of the medic-nin's neck. Wasn't her job and oath to cure people? Sure she was an ANBU medic, but they had to have some heart too...

Samui flung Kakashi's blankets out of the way, causing him to curl up at the loss of heat. Iruka thought it was sort of cute, but the blue-haired medic-nin just wanted to go home. She checked his fever, prodded here and there and declared that there was nothing she could do, not knowing the cause of the illness. Iruka tried to bring up the subject of his own disease a few days ago, but she just waved her hands and left.

Sometime before dawn was in full glory, Genma also left for his own work, leaving the dolphin with Kankuro. They talked a while of random things, but the Suna-nin looked ready to fall asleep on his tea, so Iruka let him sleep on the couch.

He was preparing himself to go to school, when he realized it was a free day because there was the Star festival that night. He went out anyway. When he returned, Kankuro was up, and he said that he'd be upstairs if Iruka still needed help cleaning up, though he noticed that the youth looked like he wanted to go meet someone else, so he decided not to bother him.

Gathering his courage, Iruka entered Kakashi's bedroom once more. The jounin was asleep, but he didn't look peaceful. He was mumbling through his fever and turning over many times.

"Are you awake?"

Kakashi did not answer, just turned over again, giving his back to Iruka.

Iruka took out the book he had gone to get. _Medicine Through Chakra Flow, Cures and Remedies to Simple Ailments_. At least the title sounded useful.

Iruka began searching "fever" in the index. He found Pel-Ebstein fever, Typhoid fever and Scarlet fever under the specific diseases section. Also, fever seemed to be an effect of almost every nasty sickness Iruka could think of. However, he doubted the jounin had malaria, infectious mononucleosis or gastroenteritis, whatever that was.

"Chikuso! This book is useless!" Iruka had the urge to throw it outside. But he needed to do something about his flat-mate. He pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose and tried to think.

Kakashi moaned in pain, and Iruka put his hand on his forehead. If possible, it was worse than before. Iruka was starting to feel depressed again as he got the clean water and the towel.

Ninjas could protect each other and themselves from obvious and visible threats, like Sanka, but when it came to microscopic little bugs, they were as vulnerable as anybody. With the towel on his forehead, Kakashi looked a little relieved from pain. This time Iruka let his compassion flow a little more freely, though he wasn't sure why.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his own.

"Is that you, kaa-san? Are the onigiri ready?"

Hearing Kakashi call for his mother made Iruka's brain stop and struggle not to shatter.

"Um...would you like some onigiri...?"

"Can I have a hug first?"

Iruka 's brain broke.

------------------------------------------

"Ne, Neji?"

"What?"

"Wanna hear what Genma did the other night?"

Kankuro was sitting without his zoris on the cool grass. Practice was always good, especially if you got to rest after. Neji always sat cross-legged against something.

"What did he do?"

"He brought a woman to the apartment."

"So? He's a grown man, he can do as he likes."

"I know that. It's just...I was expecting him to bring a man."

Silence.

Then Neji shrugged. "Either way, I don't think it's any of our business."

Kankuro frowned. Just _try_ to get a conversation out if this kid. Fine, if that conversation topic hadn't sparked anything, he would try with one that had always been the subject matter with the guys his age in Suna.

"What do you think of girls? I haven't seen a lot of hotties here in Konoha, but I really haven't looked around that hard." He tried to sound casual.

Neji raised his eyebrows and thought. He remembered his cousin, Hinata, how she twirled her fingers and blushed all the time. "From my experience of girls... they are really quiet."

Kankuro recalled his sister Temari. "Nooooooooooooo no no no no no, you're wrong! They are not quiet at all." He shivered. "In fact sometimes they are scary."

"Hm. I don't usually think about girls or guys for that matter. I have to concentrate on gaining strength."

_Oh here we go again_. Kankuro was getting bored.

"It's my fate to overcome the Main Branch." Right on schedule.

He frowned again. Why was his new friend so goddamn uptight?? He only seemed to be thinking on training and ways of getting stronger and the Main Branch and nothing else. Why was he only creative on the battlefield? If he went on like this, he would grow up to be a fine shinobi and an incredibly _dull_ person. Suddenly Kankuro decided it was his duty as his friend to prevent that from happening. So he poked Neji as hard as he could in the ribs.

"Hey!" Neji had been taken by surprise; he had been meditating. Kankuro pinned his arms against his sides.

"Taijutsu wrestling! No chakra allowed!"

"You're bigger! How is this fair??"

Kankuro smiled. "A good shinobi is always prepared for unexpected confrontations."

Neji wouldn't admit it, but he had never wrestled in such a crude form before. Sometimes his classmates at school had tried the same, and he had dismissed it as "horseplay" using a word he heard from his uncle. Therefore it was no surprise that in a few seconds he was pinned down on the ground, unable to move his left arm with the Suna-nin sitting on top of him.

"If I could use Gentle Fist, you would be down by now and you know it."

Kankuro stuck out his tongue. "Imagine someone did Gentle Fist on YOU. Then you wouldn't be able to use chakra."

"I have kunai and a 100 percent precision."

"Imagine you are out of weapons."

"You want me to imagine myself at complete disadvantage."

"Maybe."

"Get off me!"

Kankuro did, since he didn't want to annoy the Hyuuga enough to really use the Gentle Fist. Neji stared hard at him, deciding if he was angry. Surprisingly even to him, he wasn't. This time Kankuro yelped, since he hadn't expected his junior to pounce on him.

This time as they rolled in the grass Neji did a better job of not making himself look pathetic during the struggle. He still lost though. Kankuro could see the beginnings of a smile touch his friend's lips, but that smile was quickly put away each time. Kankuro did laugh out loud, since he was truly having fun. When Neji finally growled at him to get off a second time, he smirked and thought, _oh well, at least that's progress._

---------------------------------------------------

"Iruka."

The chuunin had been avoiding looking at him ever since he woke up yesterday afternoon. He had been jumpy whenever Kakashi spoke to him (he had abused that fact for a few hours) and he seemed to avoid spending time with him any more than strictly necessary.

"Hn?"

"I have a question."

"Yes?"

Still Iruka was giving him his back. Kakashi shook his head unnoticed. He had gotten up for the bathroom to find the chuunin back from yet _another_ grocery trip. Soon enough he would tire of cooking and the take-out meals would come back. The silver-haired nin wondered how long until Iruka got fed up. He hoped it wouldn't be soon, the cooked meals were indeed a nice change.

For his part, Iruka had bought all the ingredients he knew a weak stomach could handle and veggies that were said to help build up strength after an illness. Not that he cared for the stupid jounin's health at all. No. Never. He wanted Kakashi out of the apartment to have a quiet afternoon to himself. Yes, that was it. He started taking out the spices.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"Why not?"

Iruka felt the glare on the back of his neck. "Besides, I'm putting away the groceries."

Kakashi had given this a lot of thought. He had a fair idea of what this what about. Given his social skills, he knew he would have to handle this subject like it was a letter bomb with 5mm left. Best to go straight in.

"Did I say anything while I was feverish?

Iruka flinched.

"You asked me for a hug."

"I NEVER ask for hugs! Gai is more than enough!!"

"You did."

"Liar."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too!"

This might have gone on for a long time, but Kakashi had another objective in mind besides driving Iruka up the wall. Iruka put away the rice crackers more angrily than he intended.

"What else did I say?"

Iruka hesitated. He knew that Kakashi suspected and the interrogation wouldn't end until he said it. Perhaps he could shorten his own misery. Why was he making such a big deal out of it anyways?

"You also told me I look sexy with my hair down. Which is enough reason for me to cut it off." He added as an afterthought as he smirked at the inside of the refrigerator. "Would you like miso soup for lunch?"

Silence. Iruka dared a quick glance at the jounin. Kakashi was squinting.

"_You_ with your hair down?" Frown. "When was this?"

"Last night. Miso? For lunch?"

"You didn't answer my question about the hair."

Iruka didn't know what Kakashi was likely to do if he found out about the fight yesterday and how he tricked him, but he didn't want to find out. "Last night," he repeated.

"Yes?"

"What? Miso soup for lunch?"

_"Yes, Miso! Now answer my question!!"_

"I did. You asked when, I said last night."

"What ABOUT last night??"

Iruka got the bowl of miso out of the fridge, and a package of fresh tofu, and scallions and turnip greens. _The greens will help Kakashi recover more quickly_, Iruka thought to himself. _They are full of vitamin A._

"I don't understand the question," he said out loud.

Kakashi sighed. "WHY was your hair down last night? You don't take it down even to sleep."

Iruka got out a cast iron pot and ladle and a knife for cutting the vegetables and tofu.

"Oh, is that what you meant? Why didn't you say so? I had just washed it."

"Hmm." Kakashi was still suspicious.

Iruka rinsed off the tofu and set it on a plate. Then he washed off the scallions and the turnip greens. He got a towel and dried the vegetables. He clattered about all the while.

"Then answer me this question."

"Sure."

"What happened with my wall scroll?"

Iruka almost dropped the knife. He had repaired it the best he could and hoped Kakashi's head hurt too much for him to notice, but that wasn't the case.

"I was in a cleaning mood, so I took it down. And then Kankuro came downstairs for a chat, and he stepped on it, and it tore. I'm sorry." He kicked himself inwardly. _You can lie better than that, Iruka!_

"Iruka, it was cut clean in half."

"It's amazing, that boy has real talent."

"Talent?"

"Most people if they stepped on paper, they'd just crumple it or tear it unevenly, but Kankuro managed to rip it right down the middle."

"_Talent_ for stepping on things..."

Iruka remembered to turn on the stove. How the heck was he going to talk himself out of this one? He racked his brain, and then Kakashi said something he definitely was _not_ expecting.

"I DO remember something from last night. " He waited long enough for Iruka to start squirming uncomfortably again.

"And it is that I figured out your sexuality."

_"What?"_

"I know you're gay."

In the silence that ensued Kakashi felt that he could actually _see_ Iruka's temper rise.

He tried to save himself, or at least his lunch.

"There's nothing wrong with that. It really doesn't matter what gender you like. In fact here in Konoha--"

"I'M NOT GAY!!!!"

Kakashi stared at him. "Are you denying yourself? Iruka, living with you for this time, I've seen all the signs. I could also see them in the mission room. In fact when you came I was surprised you didn't have a boy--"

"I've never had a boyfriend!! And that's how I know I'm not gay! I never had a boyfriend, and I never wanted one!" He was panting hard. "And in case you didn't know, that's how you can tell if you're gay or not."

Kakashi's headache was coming back. It dawned on him that this matter wasn't going to get solved today. One more try.

"Iruka, you're denying yourself. There's nothing wrong with it."

"Do you realize how presumptuous you are being?" Iruka was starting to get _really_ pissed. Lunch began to burn.

"Look I just--"

"That does it!" He slammed his fist down the table. He was too angry to see Kakashi give the slightest of jumps.

"If you're well enough to mess with me, then you're well enough to get out of bed and go to work!" He stalked towards his bedroom. "And don't you talk to me!!" He slammed the door as hard as he could.

Kakashi silently turned off the stove before the smoke alarm went off.

Iruka sulked on his bed. How _dare_ the STUPID jounin insult him like this?? He liked girls!! He had slept with one!

_Huh, about eight years ago!_ The little voice at the back of his head told him. Iruka ignored it.

He sighed and collapsed on his bed. Staring at the ceiling, he wondered why he was so upset about it. He should've punched Kakashi, he thought as he turned over. Maybe he would in the morning. Rolling over again, he decided to _prove_ to the copy-nin that he was heterosexual tomorrow, once and for all.


	14. Chapter 14

Iruka waited until he heard the door close to get out of bed. It turned out that Kakashi went to the memorial every day at the crack of dawn, roughly half an hour before Iruka actually had to get up. If he had been nice, Iruka would have gotten up at the same time, prepared breakfast and perhaps seen him off; but since the jounin was Public Enemy Number One, Iruka always ignored him.

Today he was glad that he didn't have to face him at breakfast. Since their argument yesterday, Iruka was weary of having any sort of contact with him. Plus it hadn't helped that afterwards Kakashi had charged into his bedroom, his hair an interesting shade of blue, and given Iruka about 500 noogies while half-strangling him before getting tired and promising painful retributions.

He had to think of a plan, a good plan, to convince the silver-haired nin that he wasn't gay. He doodled a little on the copy of _Make-Out Violence_ he found on the couch; though that was nowhere near getting even, it made him feel a tad better.

Later, stepping out into the sunlight, he decided that perhaps getting a girlfriend would be the most direct way of saying to the world _I'm Not Gay!_. The only problem was the girl part. Iruka had never been able to speak properly to any girl over fifteen, because by that age most of his students were chuunin at least.

Stopping to buy the lunch he'd forgotten to make, he noticed that the attendant was not that bad-looking. Her name tag declared her name to be Mai. Mai from the corner store. Better get it over with.

"So...uh...you make nice bento here..." Iruka wasn't even sure where to start. She looked to be eighteen at the very least, so at least he wouldn't make a mistake and get charged for asking out a minor.

"Yes, sir. Fish or rice?"

"Fish."

She seemed shy. Most guys found that cute, but that definitely was _not_ going to help him. His lunch now packed in front of him, he knew he had to make a move now, or he would never gather up the courage.

"So...Mai...you work here...do you have Sundays free?"

They both blushed, but hers was more pronounced. _Good grief! This is just like the beginning of one of those cheesy romance stories with endings worse than Icha Icha! _Iruka started to wish he could abandon the plan. But he didn't have any other.

"Well, would you like to take a walk with me this Sunday? I know a really nice walk into the hills..."

She blushed even deeper. "That would be nice...but..."

_Say no_, Iruka found himself wishing she would say.

"I'm actually a man."

"_Huh_?"

_Since when do men have long hair, wear kimono and apron??_ Iruka had the urge to run away, but that wouldn't be polite.

"Huh..." His tongue was momentarily useless.

"We can still go if you want to..."

"No thanks, sorry!" Iruka did run away.

----------------------------------------------------------

All day he was rather distracted (though that didn't stop him from giving three detentions and extra homework) and by the end of the day his brain felt like it was melting. For a creative person, Iruka simply could _not_ come up with ideas to solve his plight. So he was a little depressed when Ebisu suddenly walked in.

"Ohayou, Ebisu-san." Iruka was dispirited.

"Iruka-san! I have a subject to discuss with you of most importance! It is about the honoured grandson!"

"About Konohamaru?"

"Indeed so." Ebisu pushed his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose.  
Iruka had given up pointing out that some people would find this gesture offensive since the jounin always used his middle finger. He looked at the man over, square face, lack of vest and all. _Yeah, I'm definitely NOT attracted to the XY gender!_

"WHAT are you teaching the boy??" The cry of indignation startled Iruka out of his reverie.  
"What?"  
"It's been twice this week he has done the Sexy Jutsu on me!! AND he tried the Ninja Harem! He didn't succeed on that though..."

"So are you complaining that he uses Naruto's stupid Jutsu, or that I didn't teach him the Kage Bunshin Jutsu well enough?" _Hey, if I nosebleed at the Sexy Jutsu, does that prove that I'm straight??_ The chuunin wondered if somehow he could make Konohamaru to do it on him without making it obvious and looking like a pervert.

"Both! What kind of teacher is it that lets student run amok doing and saying things that they don't understand and then doesn't teach them the stuff they DO need properly??"  
"Excuse _me_, Ebisu, but I do think that _you_ have been mentoring Konohamaru longer than me! Perhaps his poor learning skills can be blamed on a bad tutor?"  
"It's not that I mind...but he does it in front of everyone!!"  
_  
Hang on a tick...if anybody's straight...it's Ebisu! He's even a pervert!_ An idea finally dawned on Iruka.  
"Ebisu." He started, waving away whatever he was going to say next. "I know you have a, um, 'collection' of, ah, 'select works'."  
"Nani...?"

"May I borrow an item from your personal library?"  
The dark-glassed man looked offended. "My personal library? What do you mean?"  
Iruka raised his eyebrows in what he hoped was a meaningful way.  
"Go talk to Jiraiya if you want that kind of filth."  
"Well...I'm just starting to look into those things, you know? Perhaps I should start with something toned-down."  
"This conversation is absurd. I only wanted to ask you to discipline Konohamaru better so he doesn't embarrass me in public!"  
_  
Failed again_, Iruka started to feel depressed again, and he slouched.  
Suddenly, Ebisu pulled something out from his pouch.  
"But..." He handed the chuunin a green paper-back book. "HERE. I've already read this one, you might as well have it."  
Iruka took the book like it was a black-market smuggled item and quickly put it away in his vest.  
"Thanks!" He added conspiratorially. "And...I'll give Konohamaru a good talking to for you, OK?"  
"Say nothing of it. I MEAN IT. Don't tell anyone I gave you that." Then the jounin's expression softened a little. "That would be appreciated."

When he was sure he was alone, Iruka pulled out the little dirty book and started reading it. And learned a lot of brand new colourful and lewd language.

-------------------------------------------------------------

"You seem distracted today."

The tan man did not answer, partly because he didn't want to give away the real reason and partly because he was officially ignoring Kakashi since a certain incident that afternoon involving seaweed and tweezers.

Also, he was pondering how to use his new-found knowledge. Should he bring up the subject? Better not, that would seem like an invitation. He sighed and served the tempura. At that moment a knock came at the door.

Iruka went to answer it, grateful for the distraction. Behind the door Genma was smirking at him.

"Hey there, Iruka, Kakashi. I just rented this video and I thought that since I have a video set and you guys like this kind of stuff, we could watch it together since the kid's gone again. Ebisu told me you like this kind of stuff, Umino-san." He help up a tape that had three huge black X's on a red background, the title "No Shiri o Tataki" like a subtitle. Iruka could guess the rating without a lot of work. A huge "you put that filth in a bin and burn it" rant was about to issue form his mouth when he caught Kakashi eyeing him curiously.

_Oh, no!! He's waiting to see my reaction!_ The chuunin stopped himself before saying anything, even though he already had half-raised an accusatory finger. Trying to save the situation for himself, he tried to be enthusiastic.

"Right on!! Just the stuff men like to watch, right Kakashi??"

The jounin just gave him a look and shrugged. Iruka wondered how long he would have to put up an act and how well he could do it. He found out soon after. 

The plot was actually rather cheesy, the man was a candle artist (?) and she was the daughter of a rich businessman. Everything was rushed a bit to get to the part that gave the video its rating, making it even more confusing.  
_She's a bad actress_, the chuunin thought, as he noted that her kisses were hardly more than plastering her lips uncomfortably to his for a few moments before breaking off and saying how they shouldn't do this. Even the way she took off her clothes was un-alluring, it seemed like she was getting undressed for a medical exam, not sex. At least the guy was sort of good-looking, like Fabio, but with shorter hair.

Then they started. _Man this is bad,_ Iruka squirmed, but he knew Kakashi was there, so he did his best to pretend he was enjoying himself.  
"Huh...wow!...this is getting to the good part!" How the hell was he supposed to react? Neither jounin answered him. Iruka started memorizing the buttons under the screen instead and hoped they wouldn't notice. 

_Now that's what I call a blush_, Kakashi mused as the sounds issuing from the screen caused Iruka to turn three different shades of red. The silver-haired nin was trying to decide whether his companion was aroused or incredibly embarrassed. If he had to bet on one he would say the latter, but he still wasn't sure. For his part, Kakashi had already seen this one, so he knew what came next, and he didn't miss a lot watching Iruka become redder. He sometimes turned to see the screen though. Porn is porn.

Genma hooted, and the chuunin looked up to see if they were done. Far from it.  
_What the hell are they doing?? That's not even anatomically possible!! _Iruka had the urge to cover his eyes in disgust.  
"Ah...yes...no...!!" She was being noisy. _When is the torture going to end??_

Just when Iruka thought it couldn't get any worse, there was a momentary shot of full-frontal male nudity. His hands shot up to cover his nose, but it was too late. A gush of blood spurted from his nose, knocking him backwards and making him momentarily lose consciousness. 

----------------------------------------------  
While the dolphin washed his face in the bathroom, Genma was sort of apologizing, sort of making fun of him.  
"Seriously, I thought most guys could take this sort of stuff, but I guess you are too innocent Umino, pfffft." He was trying rather hard not to laugh.

[The following paragraph has been left censored for comedy purposes  
[Fill in the blanks at own pleasure

"_Most _of the guys can take this kind of filth??? It's disgusting, and it's not even anatomically possible!! First she -bleep- with his -bleep- and then she took the -bleep- and used it on herself! And then he uses the -bleep- to -bleep--bleep--bleep-. And they both -bleep- with the -bleep-! How is this supposed to be entertaining, let alone enjoyable?!?" Without realizing it, Iruka had used most of the words he had learned that afternoon, leaving Genma impressed.

"Yo, Iruka, watch the potty mouth." Kakashi had been watching all this with detached interest. "I think we better leave, Genma-kun, I'm hungry, and if my cook dies of nosebleed I will have to waste money on take-out."  
"Yeah. I'll finish alone then."

_Oh man, how will I ever get over this embarrassment?_ Iruka could feel one of his instant headaches coming on, and what was worse, this time it had been triggered by him own stupidity instead of by the stupid jounin.

Caught up in his own thoughts, he didn't notice how close Kakashi was until he was pinned to the wall.  
_Huh?_

"What the hell are you doing, Iruka? This isn't like you. You've been acting weird all afternoon."  
"Let go! And if you must know...you told me you thought I was gay yesterday so..."  
Kakashi's grip tightened almost to the point of being painful.  
"So you set out to prove me wrong, is that it?" _Get your face away from mine!_ Iruka tried to squirm his way out.

"If I felt that way about you, I wouldn't have let you sleep with me that first night, stupid! Don't you understand?" He leaned even closer. "Accept the truth."

"Nooooo!" Panic overtook Iruka and without thinking he kicked Kakashi between the legs.  
"Owwwww!!" The jounin doubled over and released Iruka, because there are some pains that even ninja training cannot prepare you for.  
Meanwhile the panicked chuunin scrambled atop the couch. _What the hell is he trying to do??_

Kakashi turned around to glare at him with his most murderous glare. "You...I'm gonna kill you!!" He took off his shirt, because wrestling is easier without it.

Iruka misinterpreted the action, of course. _Ahhh! He's gonna try to force himself on me!_

"Get away! Don't touch me! Rapist!" He started throwing anything that wasn't too heavy or pinned down at his aggressor.  
"What? Are you insane?? Why would I-- oomph!" Surprised by the onslaught of flying objects, Kakashi didn't predict that Iruka was going to hurl _himself_ at him.  
With the jounin under him, Iruka knew he only had a few seconds of advantage, because there was no way in hell he could keep the Sharingan Kakashi pinned down for too long with only his arms. So he got out a piece of rope.

Two seconds later Genma walked in.  
"Hey Kakashi, I'm done with the video, if you wanna borrow--"  
"Shut up!"  
Genma looked up.

It took him a few seconds to register the scene in front of him. Stuff strewn around, shirtless (but still masked) Kakashi lying face-down on the couch, being tied by Iruka, who looked out of breath.

Nobody spoke.  
The senbon nin closed the door.   
------------------------------------------  
"Did you hear?"  
"What?"  
"Those two are a couple."  
"Nu-huh! Umino and Hatake?"  
"Rumor has it that Genma saw Umino torturing Kakashi..."  
"...with hardcore adult sex toys!"  
"I've got one word for you: 'bondage'."

"Don't speak to me EVER again!!" As Iruka ran away from the flustered jounin, he wondered if his sexuality and his reputation would ever be the same again.


	15. Chapter 15

Iruka walked into the ramen stand with his head hung low. All day he had been dispelling the rumors about his romantic relationship with a jounin he certainly _hated_. What really got him was the fact that people _congratulated_ him instead of teasing or being shocked. So apparently Kakashi was not the only one who thought that he preferred the XY gender.

"Really, I don't know how long they've been at it, I didn't even guess until I saw..."

The chuunin looked up. There in front of him was the source of his misery.

"GEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNMMAAAAAAAAA!!!" Iruka growled so deeply that the costumers at the stand wondered if the sound really came from a human being, much less the usually amiable teacher.

Genma looked around, not sure if Iruka was growling at him, despite having heard his name.

"Uh...hi, Iruka-san, I was just talking about you. Shizune here was wondering how long you guys have been at it, could you tell us?"

Bloodlust suddenly filled the stand. Iruka's eyes were shining in a sea of darkness.

"_No_."

"No? That's not an answer. We asked you how long."

"No."

"No what?"

"No, I'm not sparing you from pain."

"What?"

"Outsiiiiiiide."

The senbon jounin was taken by surprise as he was roughly forced outside by his collar.

"DO. NOT. Just. Assume. STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!"

By now Genma realized his life was in peril, so he did what any sensible ninja would do. He retreated. No one wants to deal with an extremely mad teacher.

"Don't run away, you coward!!!" The chuunin started to chase. "I'm not done killing you!"

_Thud_.

Iruka was sprawled on the sidewalk, and he didn't know why.

"Nani...?"

He tried to get up, but there was a foot on his chest. Turning his head, he saw a very, very, _very_ angry Anko.

"You...slut!"

"What?"

"You seduced him, didn't you??"

"What? What?"

"How _dare_ you toy with his fragile mind? You just wanted him all to yourself, didn't you??"

"Anko-senpai, I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Don't deny it! It's all the talk in Konoha!"

Iruka narrowed his eyes.

"Oh..._that_."

"Yes, THAT!!"

"Listen! If anything, _I_ was molested, not him!"

"What are you talking about?! My Kakashi would _never_!"

"Well the point is, I don't swing that way, so if everyone would _please_ stop–"

She pushed her foot down harder, taking the wind out of him.

"Don't you lie to me!" She got really close. "He belongs to me, understand that?"

"I didn't see your name on him." Mental slap, _Why the hell did I just say that? _

"Listen here, Kakashi is mine and only–"

"Anko, the reason I left you is because you started this ownership thing."

"Kakashi!" Anko looked elated.

"Oh great. My knight in shining armor." Iruka rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, Cook. And you." He pointed to Anko. "Stop spouting off nonsense at random people, someone might hear and believe some of that."

"But I do care about you Kakashi! Enough to kill this kid!"

"Hey!" Iruka was trying to get away from the psycho before he really did get hurt. Anko was part of the Information Gathering facility of the ANBU after all. "I'm not a kid! I'm twenty-five."

"Beside the point. Kakashi! Come back to me!"

"No."

Iruka managed to get the foot off his rib while the kunoichi was distracted. He stood and started backing away slowly.

"Hey...if I get rid of you...then it won't be cheating, right?" A kunai was pressed to the chuunin's throat.

"Huh..."

"Anko!" Suddenly there was smoke billowing out from where Kakashi had been. Green thick smoke.

"Eh?" Anko looked a bit confused; she looked for her former boyfriend. Since when did he pull ninjutsu off on her? She whirled around. Her prisoner was gone. Fuming, she kicked the wall, leaving a huge dent in it.

"Huh...thanks...I guess..."

"Hmm."

Three blocks away, Kakashi let down his companion on a roof.

"Usually I would blame you for this, but we both know this is Genma's fault, right?"

"Agreed."

Silence.

"Well." The jounin took out his Icha Icha Violence. "See you at home, I guess."

"Stir-fry tonight."

_Sweet_, Kakashi thought. "Oh, and by the way..."

"Hai?"

"You not looking up Anko's skirt when you had the opportunity, doesn't really help your argument you know?"

Iruka turned red. "Ngh! I'm not a pervert like you!"

"I am not a pervert!!"

"Didn't we have this argument already?"

Kakashi's visible eyebrow twitched. He pointed at Iruka. "To be continued."

And he left in a puff of smoke and leaves.

----------------------------------------------------

_An hour, that's enough_. Kankuro got down from his tree and started walking towards the village. He had waited for Neji to show up, but there was no one at their usual spot. Neji wouldn't stand him up. Something must have happened.

The problem was, he didn't know where his friend lived or what places he frequented. And he barely knew anyone. So he stood in the center of the village, looking a little lost, wondering where to go next when something bumped against his side.

"Brat."

"You!" Konohamaru had grown slightly taller in the year Kankuro hadn't seen him but still wore goggles. Not a genin yet.

"I still don't like little children."

"I'm not little!!"

"Whatever." He turned to walk away, but an idea hit him.

"Do you know anybody by the name Hyuuga?"

"Yeah, a girl in my class. Their eyes are weird."

"Have you seen anybody else with those eyes?"

"Well, the girl that likes the boss and the guy that's moping down by the river."

_A-ha, there he is. _"Well…see ya, kid. I won't kill you this time either."

"As if!! I've grown stronger since then!"

But the Suna-nin was already gone.

---------------------

From behind, Kankuro could recognize his training companion's stream of dark brown hair. But the posture was all wrong. Neji usually had his nose in the air, his chest out, arms crossed in an authoritative way. This figure was hunched over, hands hanging by his sides.

"Neji?"

The figure twitched.

"Oh...it's _you_."

"How come you didn't come to practice today?"

"..."

"Did something happen?"

"I don't think I should practice with you anymore."

"What? Why?"

"We are from different social orders. I stand above you even though I am the lowest rank within my clan: why should we talk at all?"

Kankuro was struck speechless. For a moment he couldn't think. Then he thought Neji was playing a cruel joke on him. But Neji rarely joked. He felt anger and despair rising. His only friend was leaving him over a matter of _class_? Wasn't being son of the former Kazekage enough?

_Think_, he told himself, _think, don't panic_. Then he noticed something.

Usually, when Neji was nasty to people, whether his shy cousin or his enemy, he looked them square in the face, to see their reactions clearly. Right now, Neji seemed to be doing everything to avoid looking at him in the face.

"You don't mean that...look at me when you talk to me, Neji!" He needed to know.

Slowly the young Hyuuga boy stood and turned around. His face was a mask.

"Tell me that again while you look me in the eye."

But Neji didn't say anything. He just stood there, looking at Kankuro. He got off the rock he had been sitting on.

"You can't force me to."

"Neji, what is wrong??"

"_You_ are!"

Suddenly, Neji lunged at him. Instinct made Kankuro dodge, but it wasn't really necessary. Neji missed by miles. Why was his aim off? Deciding it was best not to take the offensive, the Suna boy jumped on the rock and watched his friend. Neji struck forward with one finger.

Kankuro had seen it, the One Finger Destroying Technique. It was used to clear trees or rocks by striking the weakest point with a notable amount of chakra. It was impressive, but it didn't harm people. So why would Neji attack with it? Pieces of rock flew all over the place. Kankuro was struck by a few, but he didn't care. He now understood what this was about.

It was a temper tantrum. Gaara was good at those. But Kankuro didn't think that hiding would help right now. Taking advantage of his friend's lack of concentration, he managed to pin him down on his back so he had to look at him. If he had learned anything from Gaara's meltdowns it was that they were hardly ever what they seemed to be about. Neji was mad about something, but he didn't want to tell him.

"Neji, what's actually wrong? You can tell me." He tried not to sound anxious.

The Hyuuga ninja looked at him; this time he didn't hide his feelings. He looked sad and hurt.

"One of the Main Branch elders was...angry at me this morning..." He thought about telling Kankuro what it was called but he thought it best to explain it in black and white.

"Do you remember the Chuunin exams? My fight with Naruto?"

This was a painful memory for Kankuro. It had been the day the Suna had been betrayed by Orochimaru, and his father had been killed. So many things had gone wrong that day.

"What about it?"

Neji took off his forehead protector, revealing the Caged Bird tattoo. Kankuro looked at it and brought his eyes down to meet Neji's.

"At the age of four I was marked a "caged bird" because my father was the second-born of the main branch. This tattoo is more than a symbol." He paused. "It affects our nervous system. At will, members of the Main Branch can cause us, the Cadet Branch, pain. They can even kill us."

Kankuro tried to process all this. So Neji was always at the mercy of his family's whim?

"And this morning...I was late to escort Lady Hinata to meet the elders. So one of them got angry and I got..."

"...oh." He lessened his grip on Neji's wrists.

"I don't blame Lady Hinata for it. She was angry at her father for allowing it. But she is not in favor with the Main Branch, so she couldn't do anything about it."

"So...why were you angry at me?"

"It would have been the height of foolishness to strike at an elder, so I contained my anger." Neji got up. "...I guess I got worked up in spite of myself..." He took Kankuro's sleeve. "...I...didn't mean to hurt you, I said stupid things..."

Kankuro knew that this was the closest thing he would get to an apology for now. He was still curious about one thing though.

"Why were you late?"

_Because I was thinking of you_. "...I overslept..."

Kankuro knocked lightly on his head. "Baka..."

-----------------------------------------------------

Iruka was getting tired of eating with his back to the table. Seriously, what was it about the man and his mask? Was he so vain that he would only let himself be lightened by his own beauty? At least he ate quickly. Again, the chopsticks hit the bowl in record time.

"You can look now, Cook."

"Yes, thank you, _Laundry-boy_."

"What was that?"

But before Iruka could retort, there was knock at the door, and someone let himself in. Genma walked into the room.

"Ohayou, Iruka-san, Kakashi. Um...Iruka, when we talked earlier this afternoon, you didn't look too happy, is there something on your mind?"

"Why, yes there is." The chuunin gave a smile that said murder.

"Genma..." Kakashi was getting tired of preventing Iruka from spilling blood, whether his or somebody else's. "Neither of us appreciates those rumors you spread around about us being a couple."

"Rumors? I only told people what I saw..."

"Well, they are false, and I think further bloodshed could be avoided if you stopped talking about it."

"Bloodshed?"

Iruka gave him a devious smile. "Yes, Genma, bloodshed."

"Oh so you guys think I went a little overboard with the thing about the dildo?"

Now Kakashi got angry too. "I guess this means the end of our friendship..." He cracked his knuckles.

"Wait...you guys..." The senbon-nin backed away. "The thing is...the town thinks you're a really cute couple!"

"OK, _now_ you die!" Iruka grabbed the senbon in Genma's mouth and threw it in the garbage.

"Hey, don't mess with the senbon!"

What followed was a fight that no sane person could explain in words. In the end, Genma asked for mercy, because he couldn't take Kakashi twisting his arm while Iruka tried to give him a haircut with a kunai. Plus Kakashi decided he really would hate it if someone looked in the window and started saying they had invited Genma for a threesome.

The senbon-less ninja staggered back to his own apartment, leaving Iruka to clean up and Kakashi to read.

"Aren't you going to help me? At least pick up the feathers!"

"I'm allergic."

"Liar! They came from _your_ pillow!"

"The pillow's fabric is hypoallergenic."

"Only geeks have hypoallergenic things."

"Only dorks have underwear with dolphins on them." [pun intended

"They are a 100 cotton! And comfy! The print was unavoidable!"

"Can I borrow them, then?"

"Whaaa???"


	16. Chapter 16

"Where is it?"

Kankuro looked at his feet, trying to think up a good lie. But he was in pain, and he was tired, so it was hard to think at all. He tried to stall.

"Where is what?"

"Don't give me that. I'm not stupid. For the last two days, you've been limping and not eating well. I know the signs of a blood infection when I see them. Now, for the last time, where is the wound?" Genma chewed on his (new) senbon and transferred it to the other side of his mouth. "Well?"

The Suna boy opened his mouth to defend himself, but instead he winced in pain and involuntarily clutched his side. Genma noticed, of course. _Damn!_

"Pull up your shirt, and no, that's not a request."

Gingerly, Kankuro pulled up his black shirt to reveal a cut that had healed wrong. When Neji had destroyed that rock, several pieces had cut him, a fact that hadn't bothered him much, being a sturdy Suna-nin. When he got home, he'd disinfected all the cuts and wounds with peroxide and bandaged the bleeding ones. He hadn't told Genma because a) he feared Genma would try to keep him from going out so much and so late and b) what Neji did and told him was sort of personal and Genma didn't look like the kind of guy that kept a secret. Normally, disinfecting would have been enough, but for some reason the big cut on his side refused to heal, and when it did, it bled pus.

"Shit, it looks like it's an advanced stage." The senbon jounin got his First Aid box from the closet. "Should've treated it sooner..." He muttered. "Lie down." He waved at Kankuro while he opened the box.

"Don't boss me around." He did lie down on the couch though; he felt weary.

Genma poked the wound gently with a cotton swab, which made Kankuro wince. "This is not a clean cut, there is something here. Debris, something alien to the body, like some dirt or a piece of rock. Your body is rejecting it."

_Piece of rock...that makes sense..._.Kankuro looked over to his guardian. Genma had taken out a scalpel.

"I'm going to have to remove the debris before you can get better." The scalpel caught the light and looked surprisingly sharp.

"Huh...are you sure you know how to this? Do you have the proper training?"  
"I'm a jounin, duh! Of course I have the proper training! I've done this in the battlefield tons of times in less sanitary surroundings and my teammates lived. Besides..." Genma looked at Kankuro square in the face. "...in the hospital they ask questions, isn't that what you want to avoid?

He didn't answer. Genma had figured him out, but somehow he no longer cared. Just as long as he got better.

"I'm not going to lie to you, this stings, so I suggest you look the other way and think of a grassy field or whatever makes you happy while I do this."

Kankuro decided to concentrate on the ceiling lamp, which had a curious cover. It was spherical, and it seemed that its shape was made by several thin wire loops covered by thin rice paper. It gave off the impression that there was a delicate glowing sphere hanging off the ceiling. It suddenly occurred to him that it wasn't something that a person like Genma would usually own. So why did he...?

"Ow!"  
"OK, I'm done. Let's bandage it and get you some rest. It's already disinfected."

"Nn..." Kankuro decided against complimenting his efficiency.  
"You can walk around, but I wouldn't recommend you train too hard or get into fights until the infection goes down; otherwise it may turn into something serious."

"Yeah, OK...hey, uh...why are you so nice all of the sudden?" _And does it have anything to do with the fact that Iruka glares at you whenever you guys see each other on the stairs?_

"Teme! I would get blamed if you died on me! Now stop asking stupid questions and lie down!" Genma shoved Kankuro, who was in a sitting position, back on the couch. "I'm going out, and you better be here when I'm back, you hear?"

The Suna boy ignored him. This was Genma, after all, and he owed him nothing. He hadn't been planning on going out later anyway. He had seen Neji in the morning.

"I said: did you hear me you insolent—GAAaa!!!"

He had been halfway through putting on his zoris. Now he drew his foot back quickly. With a look of disgust he took out what was inside. It was a fat, wet, dead rat.

Iruka calmly looked out the window. It didn't surprise him to see a flying wet rat making its way to the pavement below. He didn't expect an accompanying left zori though. _So Genma really dislikes rodents, interesting_. The dolphin sipped his tea.

----------------------------------------------------

The past week had been really fun for Iruka. Somehow he had been struck by sudden inspirations to get back at Genma and bother Kakashi. In cunning ninja ways, he had set up traps that Konohamaru only envisioned when he was high (theoretically of course). Among the pranks there were a few false love notes, one from Kakashi to Genma saying "I only act like I perv Iruka to get to you, I never meant to hurt you, I really love you" and one from Mai to Kakashi (Iruka didn't like to put in a third wheel, but Kakashi deserved punishment) confessing a crush.

The only problem was that, while Genma just fumed and ranted, Kakashi actually got him back. The chuunin had not been expecting his companion to trick him with the class schedule and change the location of the genjutsu training area. Iruka realized too late that he had walked his class into a bog instead of a forest clearing and by the time he gathered the children back together, everybody smelt fetid and was cursing about the stickiness of the mud.

Later that night, when Iruka was making the genin lists and wondering if he'd need to throw out his clothes because that stinky mud refused to go, the jounin suddenly whacked him across the head with a book.

"Tch! What did you do that for??"  
"What did you do to my book?? It's full of scribbles!" The marred copy of Icha Icha Tactics was in his hand.  
"I improved it; do you have a problem with that?"  
"Hell yeah I do!" Reaching across his flat-mate, Kakashi snatched the genin list.  
"Hey! I was working on that!"  
The silver-haired nin sat on it. "You better hope I don't fart!"  
_"What?"_

Kakashi did. Then he gave the list back to Iruka, who refused to touch it. Seriously, the man amused him to no end, even if living with him meant having to pick out fish bones from white rice. He smiled his half-crescent smile, further irritating the chuunin.

Iruka fumed and tried to remember the names, because he sure as hell wasn't touching that paper ever again.

----------------------------------------------

_I'll be gone for four days to a week, touch anything in my room and die screaming._

The scarred man reread the note twice. So up to a week by himself! He'd be able to check homework without hugging the papers to protect them, cook normally and work on his scrolls at will! He smiled. And he could think up something to get back at Kakashi for...fouling his genin list.

He looked over to Kakashi's door. The entrance would have a trap of course, not to mention the closet. What to do, what to do...

He decided to brainstorm about it at school.

Three days later, not wanting to wait any longer, Iruka carefully opened the jounin's door and dodged. Kunai and shuriken flew out and a bucket of inky water fell. Classic. But when he tried to walk in, he tripped over the chakra wire he hadn't seen and smacked his forehead on the floor before being hauled up by the feet. Twenty minutes of cursing and arm flailing later the chuunin was on the floor again, this time right way up. He stepped around more carefully.

He didn't find anything new, and was reflecting on which prank had annoyed Kakashi the most when something caught his eye. The middle drawer of the bedside dresser wasn't shut properly. Did the jounin forget to shut it right in his haste to hide his porn? Curious now, Iruka walked over and cautiously opened it. Nothing jumped at him. Instead, a pair of goggles sat atop some papers. They were a one-piece orange visor, with silver edging and a black strap. He picked them up. Why would Kakashi keep goggles? To keep dirt off his precious Sharingan? So the sun wouldn't get in his eyes? Maybe he wore them to on missions to the Rain Country, where a constant storm was always raging.

An idea popped into his head. He went back to the living room where his bag was and got a felt pen. Chuckling to himself, he drew swirls on the goggles. If they were important or hard to get, Kakashi could wipe the ink off with alcohol, no harm done. At worst he'll yell at me, he reasoned.

Kakashi had come back from his mission a little tired but rather pleased at his success. No bear-like guys and their traitorous boss were going to stop him from obtaining the information he needed. Indeed, it took more than fire and some katanas to stop the chidori. Humming almost cheerfully, he playfully shoved Iruka out of his way (You're back already? Jeez, and I was starting to get some peace...don't push me!) and went to his room to undress out of his sweaty clothes. It was then he noticed not everything was as he'd left it.

"IRUKA!" Named man jumped out of his sitting position. He had never heard Kakashi use that tone of voice, not even when he had been pissed at the worst of pranks. Alarm bells went off in his head. "Iruka!!" The jounin stomped into the living room shaking the drawn-on goggles in front of him. "Did you do this??!"

Iruka couldn't recall the last time he had been scared to answer such a direct question.

"Y-yes, I–"

"How could you?! How dare you?? These are not mine, you bastard! These are..." He didn't finish, he was panting heavily. _Obito's_, he finished in his head. He turned his attention to the man he had grabbed by the collar and pinned him against the wall.

"I didn't know, Kakashi! I–"

"Do. Not. Fuck. With. My. Stuff!"

Iruka woke up lying on the living room floor. He got up gingerly and walked quietly to the bathroom. He was sporting a bloody nose, bruised shoulders and face. Considering that the man was a jounin, and a taijutsu master at that, Iruka knew he had been let off easy. Slowly he took out the arnica and treated himself. He looked around the apartment, but he knew Kakashi was not there. What should he do if he saw him? Apologize? _Man, this is messed up_. _I mean, he beat me up!_

It occurred to Iruka that Kakashi had never really struck him before. They had come close to grappling a few times, but never really fought.

He sat down by the table and sulked. In their time together they had annoyed each other to death and overstepped the bounds of privacy more than once, but somehow it had never really gotten personal. Despite Iruka's vows of "war," there had always been an invisible line he had subconsciously respected and so had Kakashi. And now he had violated that. Iruka sighed. He couldn't blame Kakashi for not stressing that the goggles had sentimental value to him, mainly because he wasn't supposed to know about the goggles. And if he did, you're not supposed to draw on other people's stuff like that. _Well it's too late think about that now..._

Iruka felt horrible, yet he couldn't tell why. He had never had any remorse for pranking anyone before, because he never had the intention to hurt anyone. Whenever he set up a trap, he thought about the victim's abilities and made sure that the victim had at least a fifty percent chance of avoiding it.

He slumped. Deep down he felt he had damaged his and Kakashi's relationship. But what relationship? They hated each other...right? Iruka's head was starting to hurt. _I'll just say sorry next time I see him, truth is the best policy for this kind of thing..._


	17. Chapter 17

Kakashi did not come back the next day or the day after that. Iruka did his best to pretend everything was all right, but he did get some odd stares, and Shikamaru asked where he got the bruises on his face.

"Maa, Shika-kun, you know how some students are. The other day I was really tired from teaching ninjutsu, and I didn't see one of their traps. The kind of trap that drops several heavy objects on you."

"If I didn't know better, I would say those bruises look like fists, Iruka-sensei."  
"And why would I get into a fight with someone outside a mission?"  
Shikamaru shrugged and walked off to join his teammates for a mission just outside of town. Iruka wondered how convincing he had been.

That afternoon he couldn't concentrate on grading. Regret, anger and feelings he couldn't put a finger on revolved inside him. He couldn't stand it any longer.

"What the hell are you trying to prove?? I feel bad enough already!" He shouted in frustration, but the other side of the room didn't answer. Mr. Ukki rustled almost mockingly.

On the second night Kakashi failed to show up, the chuunin started considering either telling someone or looking for him himself, but he _had_ to _do_ something before going insane.  
His mind-rant was interrupted by a decisive knock on the door. He opened it almost too eagerly.

The person standing outside was not a laid-back, silver-haired jounin, but Asuma, cigarette, beard and all. Trying to hide his disappointment, Iruka invited him in and made some tea for both. The jounin looked around and then nodded to himself, as if he had just confirmed something.  
"He's not here." Asuma wasn't the kind of guy to digress from the point. Iruka just nodded, watching the ripples the tea made in his cup when he picked it up.

"I understand you guys had an 'honest interchange of ideas'."  
"Something like that."  
"Iruka-kun, I didn't come here today to bother you, but I need to know what happened." He paused, dragging a little smoke from his cigarette. "It is very unusual for Kakashi to have such an outburst."

The chuunin watched the repaired wall scroll before answering his superior. Asuma wasn't stupid; he would probably know where to find Kakashi. Besides, he was Kakashi's friend, and despite his teasing, Iruka knew that he didn't mean him harm. Hadn't he been ready to run off to tell the first person he met a few minutes ago?

"We uh...I...wasn't respectful to something personal of his. I did not know how dear he held them, so...I was careless. He got angry and left, before I had a chance to apologize." Iruka hung his head. I...really...didn't know, I wouldn't have I had done that if I had..." He clasped his hand to his forehead and rested his elbow on the table.

"Well, if it really is like that, it really wasn't your fault." Asuma sipped his tea. "You may have pushed the wrong button, but I know Kakashi is a reasonable man, he wouldn't stop talking to you forever over something like this."

Again, Iruka only nodded.  
"Is this item damaged beyond repair?"  
"Eh? No...it's actually quite easy to put back the way it was."  
"So there you are." He gave him an encouraging smile, Asuma-style. "He'll realize this sooner or later, stop being stupid and come back."  
"I guess..."

They drank in silence for a few moments.

"Actually, Iruka-kun, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about. I was planning on coming before this incident, but since this happened I decided to talk to you about the fight and this on the same visit."  
"Yes, Asuma-sensei?"  
"I gather from Genma that you weren't very amused that people thought you were Kakashi's boyfriend."  
"Indeed I wasn't."  
"And Kakashi told me that you do not appreciate being called gay at all."  
"Because I'm not!"  
"Iruka, listen. Nobody really cares whether you sleep with Kakashi, tying him up or not." The chuunin opened his mouth to protest, but Asuma held up his hand. "Nobody really cares whether you find men attractive or find yaoi something good to read. If people tease, it's because you getting mad and flustered is quite a show, but in reality people here do not judge you for whom or what you find desirable. They judge you for your performance as a shinobi and as a good citizen, and in both cases you have proven yourself to the best."  
"Where are you going with this?"

Asuma looked at him in the eye before answering. "That in the end, the one who benefits the most from accepting who you are is yourself. Denying yourself..." He took out another cigarette. "...shutting your ears and closing your eyes to the truth, it hurts _you_ more than anyone. It's making you miserable, and you don't even notice."   
"For the last time, I don't like--"  
"I didn't say you have to like Kakashi, or find him sexy, or be his best friend. Just accept yourself for who you are and spare yourself the sorrow."

Iruka exhaled and looked at his empty cup. He moved a stray lock of hair behind his ear.   
"Asuma-sensei...I understand what you're saying. I've been telling my students the same thing for years, hoping that they'll be more confident in their work. But Naruto taught me something else. When you don't like yourself, and it seems that the whole world hates you too, it's not until someone accepts you that you start to forgive yourself a little."  
"And whose approval are you waiting for, Iruka-kun?"

After a few moments, he shook his head. "I don't know..." he said honestly. _My parents? My sensei? The village? The rest of the world? He's right...this decision affects me the most...but then it seems that if nobody else really cares, it wouldn't affect them one way or the other..._

Sensing that the young teacher was lost in thought, Asuma moved to leave. Iruka noticed.

"Asuma-sensei, if I were to change my mind about...stuff, what else would change?"  
"Hopefully not your attitude towards your students; you're a great teacher." He smirked. "You don't have to talk or dress differently, just be yourself, like always."

_But if I've been fooling myself all this time...who am I? _Iruka nodded and looked out the window. He needed time to think. He didn't really notice the jounin slipping out silently.

Kakashi recognized the intruding chakra before Asuma himself came into his field of view. Not that he had made a point of disguising himself.  
"I don't want to talk about it."  
"All right."  
He put out his cigarette and knelt in silent prayer before the war memorial. Kakashi had offered his respect some time ago, so he squatted while reading the names he knew so well.  
When he finished, Asuma stood up, but he didn't re-light a smoke.

Finally the copy-nin spoke. "I didn't think he would do something like that..."  
"He didn't realize, you know? He feels terrible."  
"Hn..." Kakashi tilted his head to the side. In reality, he missed having home-cooked meals and driving the other man up the wall. And it wasn't like Iruka had done something unforgivable to mortify him on purpose...

"C'mon, let's get some sake, your head needs clearing."  
"...yeah I guess..." Nodding his head as goodbye to Obito, he followed his comrade back to the village.

The next morning, there was a plain scroll in Kakashi's inbox for missions. This was weird, because mission scrolls had coloured bands to show rank and urgency. Kakashi read it out of curiosity. He had been summoned for a challenge on the shores of Sorairo Lake, which was a half-an-hour walk from the village. He was mildly surprised that it wasn't written in home-made ink with difficult kanji, and by the lack of words like "eternal rival" and "youthful energy." So it wasn't one of Gai's idiot shenanigans? Now he was interested. He noted the time and decided to show up only forty-five minutes late, to show respect for a formal summons.

_I should've brought a book..._ Bored out his skull, Iruka watched the water ripple against the cattails, trying to think up something to do until Kakashi showed up. He had completely forgotten the man's reputation for arriving late. Well at least he had had time to prepare everything well. _Wait, isn't that... _Finally sensing the chakra he had been waiting for, he hid in the bushes.

When the copy-nin stepped into the clearing, Iruka leapt forward, shoving him as hard as he could. The idea had been to knock Kakashi off his feet so he looked up to Iruka when he was talking, so the challenge sounded more impressive. But Kakashi was a jounin expecting some sort of battle, so he wasn't entirely surprised.

"Maa, you of all people, Iruka? What's all this about?"  
Iruka took out a timer, the one he usually used for academy writing tests. He put it down on a tree stump and looked up to meet Kakashi's eye.  
"When you came down here, you were expecting a challenge, ne?"  
"Not by you."  
"Never mind that. My challenge is that you must find the box that I hid within a twenty-five meter radius of this stump in less than five minutes. Else the box explodes."  
"And what's in the box?"  
"That's for me to know and for you to find out."

Kakashi frowned his bored frown. What _was_ this all about? He'd figured that the next time he saw Iruka, they'd talk out what happened in the apartment. He'd even sort of gone over what he would say last night with Asuma (all forgotten of course, sake did that to you). This confrontation thing was a totally random move on Iruka's part.  
"Challenge enough for you, _genius_?"

_Is my stuff in there? Why is he doing this? _Kakashi frowned more. "Whatever, fine."

"Start!" Iruka pushed the timer's button and lunged at Kakashi for a second time. Kakashi dodged and tried to grab his leg. The chuunin parried and threw a left hook, which was blocked. The copy-nin took advantage of Iruka's momentum to throw him off balance and get behind him, but instead of pushing him as he would in a normal fight, he leapt away. The box was his priority now. Kakashi doubted that the chuunin would blow something up of his just like that, but curiosity bit him. Besides, he rarely backed down on a challenge, even when faced with Gai's most ridiculous ideas. He began by tracking Iruka's scent, which would work, unless he had asked someone else to place the box for him. The scent came the strongest from the man himself, who was now leaping towards him, but it was also all over the place. Apparently Iruka had roamed the whole area in expectation that Kakashi would use his nose. Oh well. A jounin always had a plan B.

After sparring and shoving the dolphin off again, still picking up the scent trails, he started looking for disturbances in their surroundings. A broken branch, newly-dug dirt, crushed ground cover, anything that might be out of order. Nothing so far. _Now, where would I hide a box where it is not glaringly obvious? Roots are good hiding places, as is dense foliage, bushes...bushes! _Kakashi noticed that there were clumps of cattails everywhere. Not enough time to look in all of them. The damn chuunin wasn't stupid! Using his nose again, he checked the ones where Iruka had been, all the while pressed for time. And it didn't help that Iruka had recovered again and had come back.

Kakashi was torn halfway between frustration and amusement. This was really good tracking training, but he failed to see the point of it. While blocking a kick aimed to his ribs, he noticed a particularly dense clump of cattails that were almost climbing up the base of the tree they were next to. _Bingo_.

Using a teleportation jutsu, he got there in a blink. Some of the cattails were bent, and not in the direction where the wind was blowing. As he wrapped his fingers around the bento-sized box, the timer rang loudly.

"Man, I almost thought you wouldn't make it!" Iruka wiped the sweat off his face and smiled.  
"_Now_ will you tell me what all this is about?"  
Iruka's smile turned sheepish. "Open it."

Kakashi did. Inside was a proper bento box, filled with his favourite sushi and beside it were Obito's goggles. Wiped shiny. Kakashi took them out of the box. They were cleaner than they had been in years. All that dust that he had forgotten or neglected to wipe off was gone. He gazed at them in wonder for a few moments. Then he looked up at Iruka. He was staring at him with those big, brown, _do-you-forgive-me? _eyes. Kakashi sighed, put the goggles in his pocket and gave the dolphin an even look.

"Baka chuunin cook." And he shoved him into the water. Iruka was taken by surprise and fell into the water with all the grace of a log thrown into a pond.  
"Sprrtttttt! What the heck are you doing??" He wasn't very amused.  
Kakashi chuckled. "Now, we're even." He gave him a crescent smile.  
Iruka scowled. "Oi! Laundry-boy! Now you have to clean my clothes! They're wet and muddy now!"

The jounin shook his head and kept quietly laughing. He looked at the box still in his hand. "I'll need your help to eat all this food." He put the box down and offered his hand so Iruka could get out of the water. Iruka took it. And pulled.

It was Kakashi's turn to be surprised. When he noticed he was losing his balance, he tried to move back, but it was too late. He fell gracelessly beside the laughing chuunin.  
"Dammit!"  
Iruka just kept laughing as he threw some water in his Kakashi's general direction, but he was too amused to care whether he hit him or not. The jounin had the urge to hold Iruka's head under the surface for a while, but he splashed water at him instead.

Wet and dripping, Iruka felt an immense sense of relief.  
Kakashi started to get out of the water . "C'mon, we're grown men." He offered his hand again, but this time more cautiously.  
The chuunin took it and got up. He put on a serious face. "Are we okay?"  
The silver-haired nin seemed to evaluate him. Then he picked up the bento box. "Yeah, we are okay."

They walked home together.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: sorry for the delay on this chapter and the next people, the Demon Lord is out there to get me, zapping my strength and willpower constantly. I fight back, but I as exhasuted as hell...

They were still wet when they got home. It was getting dark outside and Iruka saw no point in starting his grading. He was shivering, not having gotten warm after that spill of cold water.

After elbowing Kakashi in the ribs for comparing him to a wet cat, he asked who should be first to use the bath.  
"Who goes first? I don't really care...hey..." the jounin smirked again, "...what if we go in together?"

Iruka flinched and made a look of disgust. "NO!"  
Kakashi stared at him confusion, and then he started laughing again.  
"What's so funny?!"

"You call _me_ a pervert, but you're the one who always jumps to the dirty-minded conclusions!" He kept smiling with one eye as he took off his vest. "What I meant is that that way we'll use less water, and it'll stay warm. I thought it'd be ok since we're both guys, but apparently that's part of the problem."

Though Iruka glared at him, he kept shivering. There were locks of hair stuck to his face in a comical fashion, making Kakashi kept smiling.

"I'm cooler and smarter, I should go first."

"What? No way!" He hmphed.

He gently tucked one of the locks behind Iruka's ear, making the man start in confusion. "Your hair is wet and you're shivering pretty badly. Use the bath first, but don't use all the hot water." Iruka nodded and headed to the bathroom, closing the door after him. Kakashi went to his room and took off his shirt and pants, squeezed the water out and put on dry clothes from his dirty laundry basket. There would be no point in putting on fresh clothes just before taking a bath.

He wandered back to the living room and sat down with his Icha Icha Paradise. He knew from experience that Iruka liked to soak. His stomach growled. The bento full of sushi seemed to be winking at him._No, I asked Iruka to help me eat it, it would be mean to finish it by myself_. With another sigh, he walked to the kitchen. He took an instant mushroom soup out. Taking out a pot, he dumped in water and the flavoured powderand then turned the stove on to the maximum heat. Kakashi walked back to the living room and picked his book up where he left off. And soon forgot about the rest of the world completely.

_Plunging, I could slooshy cries of agony and this writer bleeding veck that Georgie and Pete held on to nearly got loose howling bezoomny with the filthiest of slovos that I already knew and others he was making up. Then after me it was right old Dim should have his turn, which he did in a beasty snorty howly sort of way with his Peebee Shelley maskie taking no notice, while I held on to her. Then there was a--_

"KAKASHI!"  
"Huh?" The jounin looked up from his book, looking for a cause good enough to interrupt his reading.

"THE SOUP! Aah! It's boiling over!" Clean, warm, dry and panicked Iruka leapt across the room to turn off the stove and remove the pot.

"Oh yeah...I forgot about that..."  
"Always pay attention when you cook! You could burn something!" The chuunin panted. He shook his finger at the jounin to make his point and then continued toweling his hair. "Anyways I'm done with the bath, so you can go now. I threw away the water by the way."  
"What? Why?" Kakashi had been looking to have a soak right away.

"There was enough dirt in that water to plant potatoes, I didn't think you'd appreciate using that." He started taking out some bowls. "Go on, while you're there I'll serve...what remains of this soup so it cools off by the time you're done. And the sushi too."  
Kakashi got up and gave him a playful shove. "Thank you. You're such a housewife." He tried to make it sound like a compliment, he really did.  
Iruka shoved back harder. "Just go in already!" He smiled when Kakashi wasn't looking though.

The building was quiet after midnight. Almost everyone was asleep, or reading in their beds. Everything was quiet in this place where ninjas, the efficient killers of this land found rest.

Iruka dreamt.

_I'm going through a dense forest. It's hot and humid and tepid. Better complete the mission quickly. Move along faster. Silver-hair steps out._

_"Kakashi, help me out here."_

_"Only if you write Bashou's most famous haiku backwards" . A scroll and ink are produced from thin air._

_"But I don't have it memorized" I protest. Kashi shakes his head and suddenly turns into one his ninken, the white German shepherd. _

_He starts to run, so I follow. We run and run and it seems we're never going to stop. And suddenly we do. We are standing above a lake. Is it the lake I fell in today? No...this is one is circular, like a koi pond. And it's HUGE. I stare at it. The ninken is no longer by my side. _

_Suddenly I'm beneath the surface of the water. I lack oxygen and start to thrash, but with no avail. Above the water I see a distorted figure. Despite the distortion, I could recognize that orange jumpsuit anywhere. Naruto is mouthing something._

_It could be "I love you like a father" or "I want pork ramen", I'm not sure. Water enters my lungs and I know death is near._

Iruka woke up, sweating and gasping for breath. He couldn't remember whether he drowned or not. A few seconds later, it seemed unimportant, so he rolled over, forgot the dog and the lake and went back to sleep.

Kakashi dreamt.

_He's is 12 years old again.  
"Here" said his mother and handed him a skull. "You must protect him, better than you protected Obito"  
"I didn't kill him" he replied. He looked at the grinning skull. It had a Sharingan in one eye. The left one._

He moaned and rolled over and over, but didn't wake up.

Kankuro dreamt.

_"Gaara-toto, I can't seem to find Sanshuoo, I left him outside to dry after I retouched his paint."_

_As usual Gaara did not even look at his older brother. He only made the slightest of jerks to his right. Kankuro turned and saw Neji. But it wasn't his Konohan friend. It turned and Kankuro saw no eyes. Sand fell out of the sockets. A Sand Bunshin. Kankuro turned back to face his brother.  
"Gaara that's not funny"  
Where his brother had been standing, the Shukaku now crouched. "Who is the monster?" It asked in an eerie voice. "Me, who kills villagers, or you, who will never give new children to the village? It's basically the same thing..."  
"I don't understand, what are you talking about?"_

_The Shukaku struck out with its paw, not giving Kankuro time to dodge. Instead of dying or even feeling pain, he found himself in a different setting. He was now standing inside his childhood home in Suna. Staring at him was Yashamaru._

_The puppeteer was confused. He knew that he had died in a suicide explosion " Why didn't you tell me you were still alive, uncle?"  
Yashamaru didn't look very alive. He was very pale. "Don't betray us, Kankuro."  
"Yashamaruji-san!"  
"Don't betray us."  
The older man held a finger up to indicate silence._

Kankuro flopped over to his left side and continued sleeping.

Genma dreamt.

_He rolled in his bed, only to find there wasn't much space to do so. Opening his eyes, he saw the sleeping form of his love, Hayate. The poor guy was ALWAYS cold, and even now, after their love, he tucked himself in under as many sheets as he could manage. Genma petted the silky black hair affectionately._

_The guy was cute as hell, even if poison miasma had burned his lungs during his adolescence. _

_Genma stopped. He felt a presence. He looked over to the foot of the bed. There, seated in a relaxed position, was Tensuke._

_"So." He said. The left side of his face was horridly marred with a wound that would never have a chance heal. In the left side of his chest there was a tear that had allowed his life blood to pour out fluidly. His blue skin betrayed his death. This was not the sculpted body Genma had fallen in love with. "I see you're seeing someone else now."_

_"You never came back home. I waited for a week. Then they told me you were dead. Your parents didn't even let me go to the funeral."  
"So who is this loser?"  
"He's not a loser."  
"Really?" Tensuke leaned closer. "Does he touch you where I touched you? Does he make you feel like I made you feel? Does he give you endless pleasure during the darkest of the nights?"_

_Genma flinched. Hayate was not as adept in the arts of lovemaking as Tensuke had been.  
"At least he has never hit me."_

_Tensuke frowned. "That was a mistake, and I apologized."  
"It still hurt." Both inside and outside.  
"You know, it was because I was upset over that that I went into that mission." He glowered "It was becuase we fought that I was killed."_

_Genma shook his head. "I'm over you."  
"And are you over HIM?"_

_Genma twisted to look at the sleeping form of his lover, only to find out he was no longer in his bedroom. He was outside, looking at Hayate, his insides exposed, while crows milled around, pecking at the blood.  
"Hayate..." He felt his voice giving out. Dead Hayate got up.  
"Didn't you convince me to be an overseer in the Chuunin exam, Genma? Didn't you say it'd be good for my lungs to get away from the office? Genma..."_

Genma screamed and woke up, tears in his eyes. His bed was empty. He couldn't get back to sleep.

Kankuro yawned, stretched and got out of bed. He wondered how he would convince Neji that they'd have to take it easy without giving away why._ I'll just make up something..._.he decided as he poured himself some cereal.

Genma wandered in. "I'm going out." He announced.  
"Whatever." Kankuro briefly looked up from his breakfast. "Hey, did you stay up all night reading or something? Your eyes are red."

The jounin didn't answer. He did not look up. He kept his eyes on the ground during the whole journey, not looking up even when he was walking up the temple path. He was forced to when he bumped into someone.

"Sumimasen." He saw a tall girl, with long brown hair, dressed in a simple yet beautiful blue kimono.

"Sumimasen deshita." She answered, and continued down the steps away from the temple. Genma stared after her. _Hang on...male chi and female chi are different...and that didn't feel like feminine chakra flow.._

"Excuse me." He said. He was intrigued. "Have I seen you somewhere before?"  
The person turned around. "If you're from this neighborhood, probably. I work at the corner store." She blushed slightly.

"Uh-huh, is that the one that sells fish bento?"  
She nodded, covering her mouth. Genma raised an eyebrow. Maybe, it was girl after all, guys usually weren't this shy...Damn kimono hid the shape of the hips, which would answer his question!

"Maybe I'll come around later." He started to turn back to the temple steps.  
"Um!" Genma turned back to face her. "Yes?"  
"My name's Mai...and you should know..." The hand went up to her face again. _That's cute.._.Genma waited for an answer, not knowing what to expect.

"...your fly's open." Mai stifled a laugh. The jounin looked down. He hadn't been paying attention when he was dressing this morning. He couldn't remember the last time he blushed so hard. He zipped it up and ran the rest of the way to the temple.

"A cold?" Neji frowned.

"Well, I'm not sure if it's a cold, but I've been feeling funny for the last few days, and I'd rather not risk it. It's this stupid country's damn temperate wheather."

"Hmmm..." Calling forth his bloodline limit, Neji peered inside his friend. He looked for something that might be out of order in Kankuro's system. He had registered the scratches on his body a few days ago, but since Kankuro said nothing about them and kept on fighting, he decided to ignore them too. No signs of debilitating sickness yet, but his ability, despite being a genius, was still limited. He frowned to himself for still being lesser than the head of the Hyuuga family. But he had a different matter to attend to now rather than his daily ancestor cursing.

He looked at Kankuro. He still felt bad for losing his control a few days ago. Perhaps here was the opportunity to make up for it.

"So...if we're not gonna spar today...umm..." Why was it so difficult to ask?? Because it sounded girly that's why! Why did the question sound so cheesy?

"Huh?" Kankuro was looking at him, waiting for him to finish the question.

"Well I got my allowance from my mother this morning so um...er...let's go eat lunch!" Neji hoped that making it a command would strip away some of the date-taboo the stupid question had in it.  
Kankuro looked momentarily startled and then he smirked. "OK." He started walking towards town. Neji was glad that the puppeteer had his back to him, so the incredibly slight colour that had risen to his cheeks would go undetected.

They walked contentedly around town, looking for a food stand while Kankuro did a little bit of sight-seeing.

Somehow conversation had gotten less casual now that they were in a town full of people instead of an isolated spot in the forest. Neji realized he hadn't asked what they were eating.

"So what do you usually eat in Suna?"  
"Scorpions."  
"_Eh?_"

Neji stared at the painted youth. Kankuro gave him an unreadable look, but in reality he had trouble keeping a straight face. He wondered if the pale boy would buy it. Apparently not, his brows furrowed with suspicion. "Really?"

Kankuro waved away the subject. "Maybe if you come to Suna, you'll find out."  
"I'll keep that mind."

After a moment's thought, Neji struck on an idea. "Since you don't usually come here to enjoy yourself, let's eat something you don't have in Suna, so it's special."

"Hn, that makes sense."  
"See anything you've never seen before?"

Kankuro looked around at the ramen, takoyaki and sukiyaki stands. "A lot of stuff." He paused. "The main difference between our food and yours is that we use less water, because it's scarce. Here you have all kinds of boiled things." He waved his hand at the ramen. "While we concentrate on the spices and fiber. Almost anything here is new for me, except the dango."

Neji hung his head to the side, thinking. "Do you have rice? There's a lot of water used in the plantation..."  
"Yeah we do, but it's sort of a delicacy."  
"Ever had onigiri?"

"Oni-giri? Duty of the demon?"  
"No, don't think of the kanji. They are rice balls shaped in pyramids, filled with something."  
"Oh, okay. No, I've never had those." He smiled. Some people might have found it a freaky smile with all that kabuki-style paint, but Neji didn't. He didn't know an adjective to say how he found it, but freaky or creepy was not it.

He ordered salmon onigiri for both of them, and told Kankuro to grab them by the black nori to eat them. They ate in contented silence for a while. Neji reflected that even though the Main House was usually very quiet, this was ten times more peaceful. Suddenly he felt something brushing his cheek.

"You have some rice there." Kankruo retrieved the stray grain and put it in his mouth. Neji froze. _He just...!!!_

But his train of thought was interrupted by the arrival of a green blur.

"Hello Neji-kun! What brings my peer companion of youth to the onigiri stand?"

Lee was getting as voiciferous as Gai, more so, if that were possible.

Neji's expression went from surprise to exasperation in milliseconds. "I'm eating, Lee, like normal people do."

Lee gaveKankuro a huge smile . "And who is this you are eating with, my rival?"_Should I introduce them or save Kankuro the pain?_ Neji wished the spandex-clad boy would disappear.

Kankuro stared at Lee. Wasn't this the freak that almost beat his brother at the chuunin exams? His bowl haircut looked dorkier from up close. He didn't sneer at him though; he held respect for anyone who managed to punch his brother and live...despite the lack of fashion sense.

"Hajimemashite, I'm Kankuro of the--" But his greeting was cut off when the wind was driven from his lungs. Lee squeezed his ribs until Neji feared they were really gonna crack.

"IT IS NICE TO MEET YOU, COMPANION OF MY RIVAL!!"

"WHOA!" Kankuro almost gave in to his instincts and attacked Lee, but he checked himself when his brain told him that this was a display of affection, not aggressiveness. "Don't hug me! Let go!"  
"Master Gai told me to be extra-friendly to the refugees from Suna, because they were at war!" He had the puppeteer in an iron grip; Kankuro couldn't get away despite his thrashing. Lee's voice hurt his ears.

"Lee, get off him!" Neji was becoming increasingly agitated at Lee, though he couldn't figure out the reason.  
"But the companion of my eternal opponent deserves a hug!" He flashed a smile at Neji. "Because he IS with my eternal opponent!"  
Disentangling himself a little, Kankuro caught this bit of conversation. _Opponent? Are they enemies? Is this a weird attack? Neji, what the heck? _He looked hopelessly at his friend, hoping for some support or explanation.

"Allow me to introduce myself!!" Lee offered, finally letting Kankuro breathe. "I am Rock Lee! Student of Taijutsu and known as the Junior Green Beast of Konoha!"  
"I already knew that..." Kankuro tried to put some distance between himself and the bowl-cut kid. Unfortunately, the stand was rather cramped. "Rock? As in earth?"

Neji smirked at the remark, but Lee didn't get it. Kankuro adjusted his hoodie. "Why are you pestering Hyuuga-san?"

_Hyuuga? _Neji's smirk vanished. _I thought we were friends! Why are we suddenly on last name terms again?_

"I am not pestering!" Lee responded, not noticing his teammate's change in mood. about "This onigiri stand overflows with your conversation as waters from the Fountain of Youth!"

"You're scaring the customers away!" The owner suddenly barked.

Indeed, the stand now had about a quarter of the costumers that had been there before Lee arrived, and those who remained eyed Lee's green spandex and orange leg warmers warily.

"I'm sorry sir, he'll make up for it." Kankuro tried to assuage the owner's anger, and suddenly struck on an idea. "In fact, he'll clean this stall for a week."

The owner, a middle-aged man, now seemed interested and stopped threatening them with the wok. "He will?"

"I will?" Lee was caught off guard.

Kankuro smiled to himself, "Yeah he will, to make up for your loss of business."

Lee looked a bit confused, and the owner didn't look too convinced. The Suna-nin decided to give it one final push. "This is a challenge to uphold your...youthful dignity! This is a CHALLENGE to prove the TRUTH! You would be dishonest if you didn't help this poor man regain the money he lost."

Lee's flashy smile came back. "Indeed it is! What a resplendent day! I have been offered a challenge by a peer!! I shall start working right away!" He took out the notebook where he wrote down everything that Gai said. "And if I clean badly I will do 500 laps around Konoha! On my hands!"

"You do that..." Kankuro had noticed Neji's face and stopped paying attention to the taijutsu trainer. Until he utteredsomething ridiculous.

"I believe I shall declare ANOTHER eternal rival on this glorious day!"  
The puppeteer spun around. "I'm NOT gonna be your rival."  
"But you are a worthy opponent!"  
"I don't want more hugs from you!"  
"I shall have TWO eternal rivals henceforth!"

Finding himself unable to respond adequately, Kankuro turned to face Neji. "What's up with this kid?"

Neji's face had become a cold mask of detachment again. "I dunno. He's been like this forever." He looked at his teammate. "Lee...he comes from Suna.If you make him your rival and he goes back there...how are you gonna challenge him?"

"Hmmmm, good observation, Rival Neji!" Lee used his Thinking Pose. "He shall be an Honorary Rival henceforth!" He tried to hug them both once more for good measure.

"Get. Off. Me." Kankuro was more or less prepared this time, and tried to elbow him. Lee loudly proclaimed that his new rival was a good fighter as well, and they should have a taijutsu fight immediately. The thought of Kankuro wrestling with Lee made an unpleasant knot in Neji's stomach. He glowered "Let's leave..."

The taijutsu trainer started to follow them, but the stand owner demanded that he sweep his stand right away. Kankuro took the opportunity to grab Neji's sleeve and run away. Not long after, they were walking on a forest trail. The pale-eyed boy walked at least ten paces before his companion, making Kankuro run to catch up.

"Neji, oi, Neji!" He walked faster, almost breaking into a sprint. "Hey, are you mad?"  
"NO."  
"Hey, wait up."  
Neji gave him a sneer. "Didn't you two look cozy, hugging and making friends?"  
"Hey, I was assaulted! I'm innocent."

Silence.

"Was it because I called you Hyuuga?"  
Neji hoped his inward flinch hadn't been outward too.  
"Instead of your name?"  
"..."  
"Do you wanna know the reason?"  
"..."

"Well...he's your teammate, right? You see him almost every day. You complain to me about him often. I actually didn't believe he could be this annoying, but that doesn't matter. Point is, I know about him, but he didn't know about ME. You haven't told him we're training together, and if I gave away that we are on first name terms, he would find it suspicious."

"Hn." Neji slowed his pace. "There are a LOT of things I don't tell Lee, for obvious reasons."

Kankuro gave him a sideways look. "You know I was pretending, right?" He put his hand on Neji's shoulder. The pale-eyed boy made no attempt to remove it.

"Hn."

They kept walking, more slowly now, and Neji started to become increasingly aware that Kankuro's hand remained on his shoulder. _What should I do? Take it off? Put my hand over it? Just leave it there?_He became fidgety. Kankuro noticed. _Dammit, is he uncomfortable? Should I take it off? _

They walked the rest of the path without answering their own questions.


	19. Chapter 19

"Hey Osaki, let's ditch."  
"Dobe, sensei will notice."  
"He won't, he's writing on the blackboard, 'sides, everyone in the class is half asleep anyway. Nobody will tattle on us if we're really quiet."  
"All right, but--"

THAWK!

The meter ruler cracked against the desk, and every student in the room jumped.

Iruka walked calmly back to the blackboard with a self-satisfied smile. He noticed some scared glances. He'd never actually used the ruler to strike a student; in fact he rarely punished his students physically. The only times he'd resorted to that was when someone's behavior was too irresponsible or dangerous: Kiba and Naruto had both crossed that line. The Inuzuka bottom had made acquaintance with the flat of Iruka's palm as the consequence for setting the sensei's desk on fire. As for Naruto...well, he was clown and a prankster and once thought it would be really clever to make a trap that threw shuriken in EVERY direction, including the attacker's.

He looked at his students. The danger passed, some of them were going back to daydreaming. Physics was boring, he knew, but dammit, he was the teacher, and his students WERE gonna learn! He had fire in him now. Sitting down, he tried to think of something...

He looked at the beer bottles Tetsuo had forgotten to throw away after yesterday's evening's shift. And the Idea struck him. He took the bottles and got up.

"Class, today I'm going to teach you something that is not in the syllabus." This got their interest. Murmurs. "When I was in teacher's academy, I didn't have a lot of money because I wasn't working yet, so I had to figure out ways to earn it without eating into my study hours. I invented a trick to con ninjas who hadn't learned the Laws of Physics, which don't seem to interest you guys."

Now he had their attention. Of course, who ever heard of a sensei teaching his students to trick people out of their money?

"Here's how it worked. I would go to a party or bar and wait until someone had had a few beers. In fact, I waited until I had two empty bottles." He held up Tetsuo's in demonstration. "Can someone tell me the First Law of Physics?"

A girl, Kana, raised her hand. Iruka let her speak. "An object in motion will remain in motion unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. Similarly, an object at rest, will remain at rest unless acted upon by an unbalanced force."

"Very good. Now watch." He put one of the bottles on his desk, then turned the other bottle around and put it on top of the first one so they were mouth to mouth. He turned to see his students. Everyone was watching the beer bottles as if in a trance. Even though Iruka wasn't breaking any rules by using them, they were sort of forbidden objects in the classroom, and having them displayed by the sensei himself was quite an experience.

"Now does anybody have a 500 ryo bill?"

Students shook their heads. Most didn't get that much pocket money.  
"250? 100?"

"I have a hundred..." A boy named Nobu crept shyly forward. Iruka smiled. "Lend it to me for ten minutes, all right? Don't worry, I won't steal it. What kind of sensei would I be if I did?"

Reassured that his gum money was going to reappear, Nobu gave the bill to his sensei and sat back down. Iruka carefully put the bill between the mouths of the two bottles. Once they were balanced again, and a length of the bill was sticking out, he looked back at Nobu. "Would you like your money back?"

"Um...yes...?"  
"Then come and get it."

Confused and nervous, the dark-haired boy strode forward again and closed his fingers on the top bottle to remove it.

"Ah-ah-ahhh, you're not allowed to touch the bottles or to let them drop."  
"What?"  
"That's the rule. I made a lot of money off drunk nins this way. They forgot the First Law of Physics, and I kept their money." He smiled at Nobu again. "So try it."

The genin-to-be examined the bottles and his bill for some time, trying to figure out how the lesson he had half-paid attention to would help him. In the end he gave up, grabbed the bill and yanked it forcefully. The top bottle fell with a clatter.

"There. You have just showed us how the laws work. You unbalanced the top bottle, which was at rest, and made it fall towards the floor."

Students chattered at the demonstration. Hands went up.

"How much money did you make a night this way, sensei?"  
"Do they have to be beer bottles or can they be soda bottles too?"  
"Did you use chakra to cheat?"  
"Were you ever drunk?"  
"Can YOU do it, sensei? Take the money, I mean?"

Iruka waved for his class to settle down and put the bottles and the bill in the previous position. The students went quiet. He stared at the bottle for a moment, steeling himself. Then, with a quickness that Gai would have proclaimed to have come from the Fountain of Youth itself, he took the bill. The top bottle made the slightest wobble, but stayed in place.

"The trick is to take it so fast and in such a way that it doesn't become an unbalanced force. It takes practice."

The class got noisy again. Some wanted to see the trick once more, others wanted to try for themselves, and Nobu wanted his money back. Iruka grinned. _Success._

Iruka walked contentedly home. He didn't have mission room duty today, and tomorrow was the Mikoshi festival. He wondered if Kakashi would go. Then he wondered why he wondered. He sighed. At school he was at ease, it was his place, his dominion, his territory. He knew what to expect, how to react to it (most of the time) and what was expected of him.

Home was an entirely different matter.

If they weren't pranking each other, he and Kakashi argued themselves hoarse. And lately, if they weren't doing either, Kakashi would just sit and pretend to read his filthy book while Iruka sat and pretended to grade homework. They both knew they were watching each other, waiting for something. For what, Iruka couldn't fathom.

Weirder still, sometimes Kakashi offered to help grade the homework and even cook. Iruka allowed help with the homework but he confiscated the purple glittery pen the jounin used to draw stick figures in Kama Sutra positions on the margins, giving him a red pencil instead. And dinner lessons were cancelled after the copy-nin managed to reduce two Brussel sprouts to pieces of coal, though Iruka suspected he did that on purpose somehow.

Kakashi never really developed a pattern of behavior except for reading porn and being generally annoying. Sometimes he sort of smiled at Iruka and told him what a terrible cook he was, almost in a _teasing_ way that drove him insane. Yet there were other times that he all but shoved the chuunin out of his way and spent the whole afternoon in his room. On times like those, Iruka calmly talked to Kakashi's door, sometimes holding a dinner tray in his hands with a steaming bowl of miso soup on it.

The first few times the door remained closed. Then the tray started disappearing in a blur of movement, and the lock clicked again. Iruka was tempted to give up several times, but seeing his roommate upset made _him_ upset for some reason, and he couldn't concentrate. The chuunin was actually surprised when Kakashi actually came out of his room one time, ate the miso in silence, and stared off into space.

Iruka decided that to keep him company would do for now. Even though he wasn't the one in charge of the laundry, he could sometimes spot the bloodstains on his uniform. He could very well guess why the jounin was moody, even without seeing the whirling Sharingan.

Iruka always mentally (and sometimes physically) slapped himself when he realized he was thinking of where the jounin could be and what was he doing. He did not miss him! He _liked_ solitude at home, he was used to it, he got all the company and love he needed at school, dammit! Iruka sighed. He hated to admit it, but he was starting to become accustomed to living with his roommate. It wasn't as awkward living with him anymore, but the arguments, Iruka could live without. Who the hell was he arguing with anyways?

But his mind-rant was derailed when he heard a familiar voice. Genma's, he recognized. And laughter. He turned right on the street and saw the senbon addict at a soba stand, grinning and slyly putting his arm around the waist of the kimono-clad girl beside him, who giggled and half-slapped it away.

Genma on a date?

This he had to see.

As he approached, he thought the long brown hair of the girl looked familiar. Had he seen her somewhere? Was she one of his former students? No, it couldn't be, she was too old...

Iruka stopped in his tracks when he recognized Mai. _Great Kami, what is Genma doing on a date with a GUY? Wait...maybe he doesn't know yet! It could be a nasty surprise when it comes out...I'd better warn him!_

He tried to approach them casually, but he couldn't help staring at the young, kimono-clad man sitting next to Genma. For a man, he was certainly pretty. He probably would look dashing in pants and loose shirt. He had the kind of girly face girls had loved Sasuke for, only Mai wore an impish smile instead of a permanent scowl .

"Erm...ohayou, Mai...san? Genma." _Chan_ was for girls and _kun_ for boys, how the hell was he supposed to address this person?

The long-haired brunette turned to face Iruka, and his demeanor turned a little cold.  
"Ohayou." The tone wasn't very cheerful.  
_So he remembers the time I asked him out..._.He hung his head apologetically.

"Genma, can I speak to you for a sec?"  
"Can't you see I'm busy? Is it important?" The dirty-blond slung his arm over Mai's shoulders and stared at Iruka, trying to give him a hint. The chuunin knew they wanted him to leave, but...well, despite his intense dislike for the rumors that Genma spread, he felt he couldn't leave him like that.

"Erm...Genma...how did you meet...Mai-chan?" Iruka took his chances with the honorific.  
"What do you care?"  
Mai giggled again, his good mood returning. "On the way to the temple, right Gen?"

_Gen? Gen?_ Iruka let his mouth hang open involuntarily.  
Genma actually blushed a bit. "Yeah..."

"Um...are you guys dating?"

The jounin stared at Iruka as if he had just asked whether the moon is made from cheese.  
"Duh, yeah. For a few weeks now"  
"I need to tell you something."

"Get on with it then."  
"Er..." Iruka noticed that he was getting a funny look from Mai. "Well, I wanted to tell you that...Kakashi says that...em...you need to talk about...the noise from upstairs.."  
"If it's about housing you can tell me later."  
"You two are neighbors or something right?"  
"This bloke lives below me. He's noisy sometimes."

Iruka sat down behind Mai, trying to think what to do while the pair started talking again. Let's try sign language...Waving his arms a bit, he attempted to hail Genma's attention. When he thought he had it, he desperately tried to point at Mai, his crotch, himself and shake his head furiously. Genma frowned.

"Iruka...what in name of Madara's Windmill Shuriken are you doing?"  
"Uh...eating soba!" He compulsively grabbed the bowl in front of him.

Mai yanked the bowl from his hands. "That's my soba!"  
Iruka paled at his stupid mistake "Er...I have to go...clean my refrigerator, bye!"

His face red from embarrassment, he ran all the way back to his shared flat. Kakashi was folding their laundry when he burst in. He noticed Iruka's breathlessness.  
"What's up with you?"  
"Um, um..." Iruka gasped.

Kakashi suddenly feared that someone got hurt. "Calm down, calm down, tell me what happened!"  
"Nnn...I think I made a complete ass of myself in front of Genma and...Mai..."  
"Who's Mai?"  
"Some...dude?"

The jounin let out a breath of relief now that he knew that nobody was in immediate danger.  
"Don't worry. It doesn't matter what Genma thinks, he's cool...plus he has the memory of a goldfish."

"Well I'm pretty sure Mai hates me by now"  
"Who cares if one person dislikes you? I like you!"

"What?"

Kakashi gave him a playful smile, or Iruka thought he did, it was hard to tell with that stupid mask. At least the eye seemed teasing.  
"Don't mess with me!"  
"I'm not messing!"  
"You didn't mean that!" He glared, trying to get Kakashi to be serious.

"Whatever. Here's your laundry..." He handed him a basket of folded clothes. Iruka took it, scowled one last time and went to his room. The laundry was already sorted and folded, and he put it away quickly. When he got to his underpants he stopped, though. He sniffed his dolphin pair.

"KAKASHI!" He burst out of his room, stomping over to the calmly seated jounin.  
"What?"  
"Why is there SCENT in my underwear??"

"Er...you don't like it?"  
"What kind of ninja has underwear that smells like FLOWERS?"  
"You don't like lilac?"  
"I can't be sneaky if I smell! I'm a ninja, for Kami's sake!"  
"Well..." Iruka could tell that Kakashi's smile was meant to annoy him. "This way I could find you anywhere! You know, in case you get kidnapped."

"Tch! As if!" He smacked the back of Kakashi's head with a slipper." And you could probably find me anyway!"  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"...Doesn't matter! Just don't use a FLORAL scent in my underwear again, right?"_  
_"Hmmm, fine..."

They went back to their lets-see-who-does-what-first stalking mode that afternoon for some reason. Iruka knew he knew why they were doing this, but whenever he thought about it, it slipped through his fingers. Kakashi looked at the teacher from the corner of his eye while his face was turned to Icha Icha. The chuunin looked cute when he was embarrassed. _Heh_.

--------------------------------------------------------   
Two figures moved toward the apartment complex rather drunkenly.

It took them forever to go up the stairs and get the door open, but once inside, between the kissing and the shushed laughter, they somehow ended up sprawled on Genma's bed. The jounin started giving deeper kisses and groping the younger man.

"So what are you, then? My girlfriend or my boyfriend?" He took the senbon out of his mouth, it wasn't necessary for what he intended to do.  
"I am a woman at heart."  
"That doesn't answer my question..."  
"Why don't you find out for yourself?" Teasingly, Mai took Genma's flak vest off and unbuttoned his pants. With a smile, the dirty-blonde started to undress his partner too.

Unbuttoning the blouse, he discovered a sort of bra stuffed with what appeared to be socks. Yanking it free, Genma discovered a flat masculine chest.

So he was born a guy after all...The discovery didn't make him slow his pace or change his mind about things.

He was hard and horny, and he was going to screw this person regardless of the gender. He did, however, reach across his aroused partner and fumble inside his dresser drawer. He obtained the bottle of lubricant he was looking for. Unscrewing the cap, he looked down at the now-naked young man. He began trailing soft kisses from Mai's neck to his chest, sometimes sucking a little, leaving love-marks. The younger man responded, moaning in pleasure and rubbing himself against him. But when Genma position himself above him, he cringed a little.

The jounin carefully caressed the brunette, rubbing his shoulders a little, making him relax.

"Uh...Mai? It would help you opened your legs a little..."

"Hn..? Oh! Gomen! I guess I should..."

Genma smiled, still gently stroking the younger man. He could bet all his weaponry that his new lover-to-be had never done with a man. He intended to change that, but not forcefully. "I'm not going to hurt you. Try to relax, it'll feel better that way."

Mai took a deep breath. He was nervous, but he also had wanted this for some time now. He carefully let one of the jounin's legs slip between his. Genma smiled.

Kankuro tiptoed with exaggerated care to his home. He was two hours past his curfew, and the senbon-nin had promised painful and immediate retribution if this happened. His only hope was that the jounin had already fallen asleep and then he could lie about the time.

He entered the apartment with the kind of stealth that he usually used to get past his brother. None of the lights were on, and Genma's door was closed. Good signs.

Still silent, he went to his room and guiltily undressed, taking his paint off before he climbed in bed. Seriously, he hadn't intended to stay out this late, but Neji had a mission tomorrow and would be away from some time. Lying on his bed wide awake, he wondered if he was going to get away with this. He had expected the jounin to be waiting for him, but maybe he had gotten lucky, and Genma had gone on an emergency mission?

He heard movement from the room to his right; the walls were not very thick. Was Genma home, after all? He listened carefully. Now he could distinguish voices...two of them...one familiar, the other not...moans and sighs, voices again, a thoarty sound...rhythmic movement...Wait, rhythmic movement??

Kankuro pressed his ear to the wall. And his mouth flew open. His nose started bleeding at an alarming rate. Now he knew why the jounin didn't wait for him.

Mai opened his eyes and stretched contentedly, if a bit sore. His lover's arm was still draped over him, and he made no attempt to remove it: he was so happy.

He stuck his tongue out to the ceiling. _Who's a virgin NOW, Motoko?_

Rolling over, he snuggled to Genma again and fell into blissful sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

Genma woke up at the loss of heat

Genma woke up at the loss of heat.

He looked around groggily, wondering what he was missing so he could wrap his arms around it again and go back to sleep. When he saw Mai in front of him he smiled. He watched quietly as the young man dressed.

It was like watching a transformation come about without using henge no jutsu. With clothes and a hair elastic, Mai morphed into a young woman. It was difficult to believe this person had a penis now. It seemed to Genma he was watching something akin to a ritual.

He waited until Mai had pulled down and smoothed his mid-knee skirt to grab him by the arm and pull him close. The brunette gave a surprised yelp, but he soon giggled and kissed Genma's cheek. The jounin answered by wrapping his arm around his lover's waist.

"Where do you think you're going, eh?"

"Nowhere, just getting breakfast."

"I can't allow that."

"Oh?"

"What kind of host lets his guest make breakfast?" He pulled them closer. "And what kind of boyfriend makes his partner do the work?"

Mai blushed at the last remark. He smiled happily now that he had confirmed they were an official couple. Genma kissed his ear. "Wait in the living room while I dress, if you want. If you make anything, I shall have to punish you."

"Hn...depending on the punishment, I might make you eggs on purpose."

Still smiling, Mai got up, and started in surprise as Genma swatted his bottom playfully. He stuck out his tongue at his boyfriend and walked out of the room.

Once in the kitchen, he opened cupboards until he found glasses. He served two orange juices, just to see what Genma would do. As he was setting them on the table, he heard some steps behind him. Turning around, Mai was mildly surprised to see what some might describe as a young man and others a boy. A person in his teens, still on the brink of adulthood.

He was well-built and walked with a certain manly grace, so Mai guessed he was a ninja or at least a ninja in training. He remembered Genma complaining a few times about having to share his apartment with "some brat," so he guessed this must be him. He couldn't recall the boy's name.

Kankuro, still in his shorts and slightly bloody shirt, ruffled his messy hair and did his best to ignore the girl that was staring at him from the kitchen. He still felt a slight disgust towards her and Genma, but he'd come to the conclusion that if they wanted to fool around, they were adults and free to do so. He'd ask Genma to sound-proof his room later, though; he did _not_ want to hear them again.

Once Kankuro finished brushing his teeth, he mixed fresh paint and took out a brush. Hesitating for a moment, he then applied a streak of purple paint across the bridge of his nose, imitating Iruka's scar. From time to time he got bored with putting on the same kabuki design over and over, so he improvised. Today he decided on an asymmetrical design for a change.

He painted a downward streak just below his left eye, interrupted it at his nose and continued it on his right cheek. Then he added vertical lines beginning from the streaks. He added two horizontal lines just above his mouth as a finishing touch. He checked his progress in the mirror.

He looked slightly scary and slightly weird. He nodded his own approval. On days he didn't have to intimidate enemies, he went for the look that creeped normal people out and made ninjas a bit tense. And at times of war, he should put on the traditional Suna war streaks, he thought bitterly.

The day before yesterday he'd gone to the Hokage Tower on official Suna business. The Hokage told him what she knew about the situation at the front, which was next to nothing, and she didn't mention either of his siblings. He'd then relayed what he knew about the situation of the Suna refugees in Konoha, as was his duty. Most were adapting extremely well to the foreign village and weather thanks to the sympathetic locals, but they also were desperate for news of their homeland, like Kankuro. Tsunade then replied that she didn't want to make an official announcement about the current situation until she herself knew for sure and then dismissed him.

Kankuro's reverie was broken when he heard some noisy breaths coming from the kitchen. He turned to see that Genma had appeared and grabbed his girlfriend by the waist to turn her around. Now they were practically_ eating _each other. _Oh bother_. He didn't know why he was so annoyed, but he didn't want to stay and watch.

"I'm at an impressionable age, you know?" he snorted as he walked out of the bathroom to his room. Genma half-heartedly threw his senbon at him, which missed and stuck itself to the wall.

"Abuse of minors, how nice is that?" He slammed his door as hard he could. While he dressed, he remembered he would have to train solo today, because Neji had gone on a mission with that Inuzuka boy he'd saved the last time he came to Konoha and the Aburame brat he had fought before that. Fantaaaaastic.

He almost rammed into Genma upon exiting his room.

"Why the big smile, sunshine?" The jounin remarked when he saw Kankuro's dark scowl.

"None of your business. Why don't you go make out with your girlfriend?" His mood was worsening by the minute.

The senbon addict folded his arms and shot him a warning glare. Usually Kankuro and he were not bosom friends, but lately they sort of respected each other's space and attitude. It didn't occur to Genma that his kohai was having a really bad morning.

"Funny you should mention Mai; I wanted to introduce you guys." Genma gestured Mai to come closer. "Brat, this is Mai Takakura. Mai, this is my personal pain in the neck, otherwise known as Kankuro of the Sand." Kankuro knew that the jounin was joking, but he still bristled. He almost scoffed at Mai's outstretched hand.

When Kankuro didn't return his gesture of greeting, Mai started to feel a little nervous. The young shinobi didn't seem very sociable, but he could guess that Genma's constant teasing got on his nerves. Genma had the unfortunate habit of pointing things out bluntly and then making jokes about it. For many people, this had the effect of adding oil to fire. Mai found it smart and funny and didn't mind it much and as a result forgot that other people didn't like his boyfriend. He decided to give this Kankuro person another chance.

"So, um, Kankuro-kun, you come from Suna, ne?" He got a grunt in response.

"I see you're a shinobi...if you don't mind my asking, what rank are you?"

Mai didn't mean wrong, he really didn't; it was an innocent enough question to ask any ninja, since most were proud of their rank or quick to inform the listener that they planned on achieving a higher rank soon. In fact, in most cases it was a great conversation-starter. But that morning it was just the wrong question to ask.

"My rank right now is equal to jounin." Kankuro's voice was pure ice.

"Oh, really? That's quite an accomplishment; you're so young..." Mai smiled. "It's funny you're not fighting then." He added without thinking.

He knew he'd made a mistake instantly. Even without being an active ninja, Mai could feel the bloodlust radiating from the young shinobi.

"I didn't mean--"

"What is funny is that a_ whore _should point this out to me."

Kankuro heard a slap, but he didn't realize he'd been the one receiving it until he felt himself thrown backwards and the sting on his left cheek. He looked at Genma, whose hand was still in the air. He'd never seen the jounin scowl in such fury.

"Apologize to Mai! NOW!" Kankuro cringed at the sound of Genma raising his voice, but didn't open his mouth. Instead he scrambled up and retreated towards the front door. He kept his eyes on the two adults staring at him until he'd reached the stairs. He then broke into a blind run.

Iruka wheezed at the heat and partly unzipped the front of his flak vest. He mopped his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt and reminded himself to dress in short sleeves now that summer was upon them. Soon he'd have to bring the fans into the classroom, otherwise he wouldn't be able to teach or his students to learn. He hoped that this year he could get a hold of a pair that weren't noisy and distracting...and with bars, so the students wouldn't dare each other to put their fingers through to see if they were fast enough to avoid getting their fingers cut off. He shook his head at the memory.

As he walked home from school, he saw other people in the streets affected by the heat. The ones that usually complained were the ninjas, though; the civilians just put on shorts and tank tops. Ninjas usually hid weapons in the folds of their clothes or sewed several pockets on. Wearing less clothing would mean having to cram all their weapons into their pouch, which was neither advisable nor efficient. Iruka wondered what Kakashi would do about the increased temperature. He wouldn't be surprised if the jounin fainted from heat stroke with that mask on. He chuckled at the image.

He was suddenly startled by a flare of chakra. He tensed, looking around. He felt another wave, and two other less intense ones. The amount of chakra that was being expelled meant that a well-trained ninja was nearby, but the random pattern of the flux of chakra meant that he or she was in a distressed state.

He was now away from downtown and had been walking on the edge of the small forest that skirted the housing area. Iruka leapt into the trees, cautiously following the trail of chakra. He decided against taking out a kunai before seeing who it was. He barely noticed the cooler temperature among the trees.

Stepping around a particularly thick tree, Iruka was surprised to see Kankuro. Surprise was quickly replaced by concern when he saw the way he was hunched over, hugging his knees.

"Kankuro-kun?" He approached cautiously but surely.

"Go away!"

Iruka crouched down and put a reassuring hand on the youth's shoulder. Kankuro was quick to shrug it off. "Leave me alone!"

He didn't retreat or say anything else, but tried again to wrap his arm around the Suna nin's shoulder. Eventually he managed to hold Kankuro in a sort of one-armed hug, but the boy's face was still turned away from him.

"Tell me what happened." Iruka sat leaning against the trunk of the tree.

Kankuro had stopped shaking; now he just stared absently in front of him. "Nothing," he replied miserably.

"So this is how you react when nothing happens? I'm afraid to see you when something does happen." He gently squeezed Kankuro's shoulder. "You can tell me about it; you know you can trust me."

The Suna nin leaned his head a bit against Iruka's shoulder and said nothing for a few moments. Then he sighed. "Everything."

The academy sensei took a deep breath and counted to ten. "All right, now that we've covered the extremes, would you like to go to my place and have some ice cream?"

Kankuro nodded.

Iruka served two generous portions of vanilla fudge swirl and added a lot of chocolate syrup for good measure. Dropping a spoon into each filled bowl, he turned away from the fridge and towards the living room table at which the youth was seated. And he noticed something.

"Kankuro-kun, what happened to your left cheek?"

The Suna nin's hand immediately flew to his cheek and tried to cover it but was too late. Iruka took the hand away and inspected the bruise.

"Did you get in a fight with someone?"

Kankuro avoided Iruka's gaze and didn't answer.

"Is that what this is about? Who hit you?"

The young shinobi gripped his cold ice cream bowl. "Genma did."

"Wha--!"

"It's not what you think, Iruka-sensei. I was upset before that." He paused. "Iruka-sensei...what...am I doing? ...What am I doing here?" He turned to the teacher with the most miserable look Iruka had encountered in a long time.

Iruka guessed that _sitting in my living room, eating ice cream _was not the answer the teen was looking for. But he didn't want to give a more philosophical answer just yet. "I'm not sure what you mean..."

"...In this village?...I need to fight for Suna, but I'm sitting here doing NOTHING!"

The chuunin shook his head. "No. You're here for a reason. You're protecting your people here; you give them hope." He paused. "Staying here with the refugees from Suna helps ease their minds about back home...you give them strength to stay and support their village from here."

"I just feel so...useless!"

Iruka tried to push the ice cream bowl to Kankuro, to make him eat some more. "Maybe you're just getting a little homesick? Look, Kankuro, you're not useless; you have duties and responsibilities here."

"But I'm a fighter! I don't push papers around!"

"Sometimes, even the best of fighters need to lay down their weapons to do the right thing. And perhaps it's your turn to do so."

"But...but..."

For some reason, Iruka didn't feel that this homesickness was the heart of the matter, though it certainly was a factor. "Your sister appointed you to do this, right? Then you need to trust her judgement for the sake of your family and the people of Suna."

"...And what if she was trying to get rid of me? What if I'm not wanted there?"

The older man shook his head and sighed. "Do you really believe that, or are you making up excuses for yourself so that you can abandon your duties here in Konoha?"

"Iruka-sensei...I really want to protect my siblings...and my village...do you have any idea of how guilty I feel? for... for...for having FUN here??"

_Now we're getting somewhere..._Iruka finished his own ice cream.

"While they are at WAR?"

"Imagine how the refugees feel here. They feel out of place, secluded, ripped from their homes. But if they see that you're comfortable here, then you will put their minds to rest. And hey! There is nothing wrong with having fun on the job." He smiled encouragingly.

Kankuro shook his head. "I'm getting too comfortable here..." he mumbled.

Suddenly, something clicked in Iruka's mind. "Do you feel like you're betraying your village and your family...because you found someone special here?"

The slightest hint of a blush appeared in the teen's cheeks. "Someone special? I have no idea what you're talking about, Iruka-sensei." He didn't look miserable anymore.  
_He has a sweetheart, that's so cute!_ Iruka restrained his smile and kept on his serious face. What Kankuro needed was advice, not teasing.

"Listen, Kankuro...I'm going to tell you something that I haven't told a lot of people. I'd like you to pay attention." He waited until the Suna nin met his gaze. "My parents died when I was quite young, and I felt really sad for them. Every day I would go to their graves and talk to them, because that way I felt I was still loving them. But then I became a shinobi, and I started having less and less time for them. I felt like I was betraying them, and that feeling was terrible." He paused for a moment. "Then a really good friend of mine, my jounin sensei, asked me if they'd been alive, would they have wanted me to stop living my own life for their sake. And you know what? When I thought about it, the answer was no. Kankuro...do you think your siblings...your village, will blame you for living?"

Kankuro ate some ice cream and sat quietly for a few moments. Then he shook his head. Iruka rinsed his own bowl.

"Well, now that we got that cleared up...will you tell me why Genma hit you?"  
"Oh, that? I was feeling bad this morning, so I was mean to his girlfriend. I said something I shouldn't have."  
"What was that?"  
"Well the thing is, I heard them bangin--"  
"_Excuse_ me?" Iruka raised his eyebrows and then glared. "Where did you learn such language?"

Kankuro blushed. "I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei...I just heard them...when I was going to bed...they were doing er...well the thing is that I called Mai, you know...a lady that does it...for money...I'll apologize to her."

"Kankuro, you don't go around calling peop--wait, did you say _Mai_?  
"Yeah that was the name Genma said..."  
"And it was a _woman_?"  
"Well yeah...long brown hair? She had a pretty face, actually...Iruka-sensei, are you all right?"

Iruka made an effort to wipe the freaked-out look off of his face. "Erm...it's nothing, Kankuro-kun...it's just that..." He hesitated. He hated telling children lies; he avoided it as much as possible. "Mai just happens to be...a man."

Kankuro stared at him like he had gone insane. "_What?_"  
"I'm afraid so, Kankuro-kun. Perhaps Genma was planning to tell you this later..."  
"But-but...but I _heard_ them! Two men can't do it together! They can't! It's not...possible?"  
The teen stared at Iruka in utter confusion. The chuunin tried to calm down and stop blushing.

"You see, Kankuro...when two men love each other _very_ much and they wish to have...sexual relations...well, it's possible...they only need er...some lubricant..." Kankuro gaped. Iruka thought his hair was going to catch on fire soon if he kept blushing like that. "Sex is actually a very beautiful thing, Kankuro-kun...it should be the ultimate demonstration of love between two people, even if they _are_ the same gender, so...don't do it lightly, okay...?"

The teen stared at Iruka in a mixture of confusion, horror and fascination. The dolphin started to feel extremely uncomfortable himself. "Er...let me take you home; I need to speak to Genma."

When the senbon jounin opened the door, Kankuro walked straight past him, to his room. He flopped in his bed and tried to stop thinking. He had too much in his head. He attempted to shut out the world and sort it all out a bit, but this was proving difficult, when he felt an added weight on his bed.

"So, I take you feel bad because you're not helping your village enough?" Genma started in a casual tone. Kankuro shot up in bed. "Did Iruka tell you that?" He asked in alarm.

"Dobe, he didn't. He just threatened to decorate the front door with my skin if I ever hit you again, which wasn't very nice of him." He clicked his senbon between his teeth. "I figured that out on my own, judging from your reaction."

The teen flopped down on his bed again, a little more relaxed. "And?"  
"I was going to tell you that perhaps I could help you to contribute more to the war effort."  
"How?"

"Well, I happen to work a lot at the Hokage Tower, so I know a bit of what's going on. Due to the war and our fight with Orochimaru four months ago, we are a little understaffed right now. We could use someone to research the culture and religious beliefs of the Mist; it may help us in battle."  
"...It's not like you to offer me this..."  
"I can't have you lashing out at Mai every time you feel guilty, and you spend way too much time at home doing nothing."  
"Building a new killer weapon and researching poison is nothing?"  
"So? Will you help with the cultural research?"  
"...Yeah, I guess..."

"Aren't we enthusiastic?" He got up. "I'll tell Lady Tsunade, so be prepared to be called for duty one of these days, okay? I doubt she'll reject the extra help."  
"Hn..."

As soon as Iruka walked into the apartment, Kakashi burst out in laughter. "_Sex is actually a very beautiful thing_, you're too much!"  
"What the hell?? You were listening!" Iruka started to blush furiously again. "Why didn't you help me out, then?" He aimed a punch at the jounin, who tried to dodge but still got hit, he was too busy laughing to pay attention.

"_When two men love each other VERY much and they wish a have sexual relations_, bwahahahaha! I could barely keep myself hidden! Seriously Iruka!"  
"Shut _up_! And since you know so much about this kind of smut, why didn't you explain to him? I was blundering the whole time!"  
"You just answered your own question, baka Cook! You flustered and blushing is a show I won't miss!"

At this point, Iruka, blushing crimson red, had Kakashi in a headlock and was rubbing his knuckles against his head. Kakashi didn't care; he hadn't laughed this hard in a _long_ time.


	21. Chapter 21

"Shino

"Shino! Behind us!"

"Neji-kun, assess the situation."

"Five behind us, three in front."

"Hinata, can you confirm that?"

"Y-yes..."

The four Konoha genin raced forward, knowing that their choices were running thin. Bearing a message, they had crossed the Fire Country border not four hours ago. Soon after that, they noticed that they were being followed. Shino, appointed leader of the mission, made them run in a random pattern to throw the pursuers off. But they soon could tell that the ones following them were not genin, or even ordinary chuunin.

The possibility that they were jounins hovered in everyone's mind like a dark cloud. With the effort they were putting into hiding, the speed at which they were catching up was incredible. Now it seemed that a confrontation was unavoidable. Their only hope was to lay an ambush.

Neji had guessed that these ninjas used infra-red light to pinpoint them in the middle of the dense forest, and that if that was true, they didn't have time to lay a smart enough trap. He was proven right.

When the renegade jounin sprang into view, Shino said, "Defense formation, now!"

The three boys surrounded Hinata, who had been chosen to protect the message. It was a strategic move, so if she came to be the last one standing, not all hope would be lost.

"Ahhhh! They're crawling all over me!" One of the jounins, a black-haired, one-eyed man, crashed to the ground while a black cloud of bugs rushed all over his body, eating up his chakra. Shino, as stoic as ever, fought his partner, a shrill-voiced woman, with taijutsu. He was soon bleeding on the side of his face, his bugs gone to repair the damage as it was made. He retreaded a little and put up a defensive stance while he waited for his insects to finish and return to his aid.

"Grab the ones with the weird eyes!" Shouted a man with a mask and a raspy voice, the apparent leader. Immediately, three of the missing nin jumped at Neji and two at Hinata. Kiba howled in rage and jumped at one of Hinata's attackers while doing the hand jutsus to do his Steel Claw with Akamaru. Unfortunately, he didn't see the second jounin, who was coming at him with a kunai knife. Akamaru barked, and Kiba managed to swerve enough not to get killed, but not enough to completely avoid the blow.

He crashed bleeding into the ground. Neji, meanwhile, managed to seal the chakra points of one of his opponents, but the other two had caught on to his technique and were staying outside his Gentle Palm range. Fighting two experienced men at once was challenging, they each had jutsus and moves he couldn't predict. At least they didn't randomly spring extra arms or spout poison needles from their elbows, fingers or mouths, like Kankuro's puppets did.

"H-hey!" Neji paused momentarily from his battle to see what had happened to Hinata. She had been thrown to the ground by the renegade, who was now standing over her with a bloody kunai in his hand.

"Lookee here, I caught one! And what nice junkers she has too!" His hands shot forward, in a manner that looked rather lewd. And then unexpectedly he screamed in pain. Hinata had shot her hand forward and released her chakra on his abdomen, immobilizing him. Then she had kicked him between the legs. The man fell in mute pain.

"Damn you, bitch!" The two jounins that had been fighting Neji leapt to the aid of their fallen comrade. Seizing his opportunity, Neji performed an Air Palm on the back of the shaved man before him. Yet before he could do the same to woman beside him, she was run down by a blur of claws and fangs.

"Kiba, you're up? You're bleeding..."

"Hn! It seemed that you had things under control, so I decided to take a nap."

"Team!" Shino called them. "We need to move forward and deliver this message as soon as possible. These jounins are formerly from the Village of the Mist, and this is a serious infraction to our non-violence treaty, so we need to inform the Hokage right away."

"Let's tie them up and throw them in a ditch." Suggested Kiba.

"I agree with the rope part, but we need evidence. Let's take one of their headbands back."

The young killers-to-be of Konoha worked with deadly efficiency.

The rest of the mission had gone on with little trouble. Once back in Konoha, they each handed in a mission report and then talked to the Hokage. The attack had been serious business indeed, but since the jounin had been renegades, it was difficult to assess whether the Hidden Village of the Mist was planning on waging war on Konoha. Neji had found it annoying to listen to the village elders confer about the situation in front of him without asking for his opinion. If they were going to ignore him, they should simply dismiss him, then!

But soon enough, rude village elders became the least of his worries. The Main House had somehow got wind of what had happened near the Mist border, and they were furious. Somewhere along the way, the story had been a little exaggerated, because he was accused of not defending Lady Hinata's "honour." A heated debate to determine his fate followed his summons to the main hall.

"His duty was to protect the members of the Main Branch! Not his teammates, not himself! The Main Branch always comes first!" Hein, the former head of the clan and both Neji and Hinata's grandfather, seemed to be the angriest. Neji never understood why the old man disliked him so. He guessed it had to with the division of the gekkei genkai power, because he also didn't miss a chance to berate Hinata. Only Hanabi, the youngest of the three, was in his good graces.

"It has not been clearly established that my daughter's purity was in peril at all." The current head of the Hyuuga clan, Hiashi, seemed sympathetic towards his nephew. Still, Neji couldn't count on getting away unpunished. He frowned and rephrased that: he couldn't count on seeing justice be done; he had done nothing wrong! To his dismay, Hein seemed to be winning the argument.

"I shall take care of this, then." With those words, the Lord of the house got up, grabbed Neji's arm firmly and walked him outside into the garden. The teen grimaced. "Sir...you don't have to do this...we both know it's not the truth."

Hiashi kept looking in front of him. "I know, Neji, but Hein and the others want to see something done, and when they set their minds to it, not even I, the head of the clan, can do anything to sway them." He stopped. "I strongly disagree with this method, but I will concede that you need some reprimand." Neji stared up at his uncle in confusion.

"I asked you to go on this mission with the specific purpose of defending my daughter and her teammates, but from what I hear, you didn't put your best effort forth." Neji scowled. He had done what he could, doing more would have injured him, which in the long run was more perilous to his team. Every self-respecting shinobi knew that.

"I suggest you sit, otherwise you may fall over." His stomach fell. Lord Hiashi was willing to go _that_ far...? "I will give you a hard punishment, so Hein may not punish you harder. With the exception of a few people, the Main branch doesn't like you. I know it's not fair, and I will defend you when I can, but keep in mind I cannot always use my authority." His face softened. "Don't give them reasons to hurt you, Neji."

Neji screamed as loud as he dared, hoping to satisfy the pride of his grandfather, hating very second of the ordeal. Afterwards, he simply lay on the soft grass, trying to regulate his ragged breathing and to calm his shattered nerves.

He wanted to go home, to have peace and quiet. But he knew that his mother would demand an explanation, and he didn't feel like recounting the events once more. More likely than not, she'd throw a fit and make a big deal out of it. Neji sighed. He loved his mom and respected her, but there were times when they couldn't get along. He sat up and looked around. He decided he did not want to see the Hyuuga compound for a while. Performing some quick handseals, he teleported outside.

Kankuro carved a little piece of wood while he waited...well, it would be more accurate to say he was whittling away at it, and the result of his effort was a random shape. After some time, he decided it looked like a human torso. Looking up, he noticed that the moon had risen and decided it was best if he started home. He absentmindedly put the piece of wood in his pocket and got up.

He'd been hoping to see Neji today; he was due back from his mission, but maybe he'd been delayed. He made Karasu tag along behind him, giving the impression of two people walking together, just for the heck of it. Genma teased that Kankuro used the puppet as a dog and was giving him regular walks. Stupid Genma.

He was lazily inspecting what looked like a bird's nest in some willow branches, because he had a little time to kill, when he felt a familiar presence behind him. He turned around, smirking a bit, prepared to make some remark to his friend on his tardiness, but he stopped when he saw Neji's expression. His face fell when he recognized the look.

"Neji…did it happen again…? Did the Main Branch…?" He didn't finish his question; the pale-eyed boy's body language told him everything.

"I was accused…..of not defending La--that Hinata…"

Kankuro stepped closer to the other teen. "And did you?"

"Of course not! Why would you believe _them_? I was too busy trying to survive myself thank you very much!" Neji vaguely wished he knew what he was talking about. He was so upset he hardly cared.

"Gomenasai Neji….it's just that last time I saw you both interact….well, you weren't very nice."

"A lot has changed since last year's chuunin exams!"

"I said I'm sorry…" The puppeteer stepped closer.

Neji looked at the ground. Why had he even come here? He wanted solitude, and yet he knew that the Suna nin was likely to be in this place! It seemed that his feet had gone against the will of his mind and carried him there. He couldn't begin to imagine how letting Kankuro see him in this state would benefit either of them.

Suddenly there was a touch on his arm. Neji tensed immediately. "Kankuro….?"

The older teen did not reply, but he continued enveloping him with his arms. Once he had effectively wrapped his arms around him, he pressed Neji's face against his shoulder. The Hyuuga genius went limp, his mind spinning. This was definitely an outcome he hadn't predicted.

"I know you have…a lot in your mind…this is probably the worst timing to do this, but…I need to show how I feel…"

"Wha….what do you mean…?"

Kankuro separated a little from him and looked him fully in the face. For the first time Neji, noticed that the cat hoodie was thrown back and a shock of unkept brown hair was visible. He realized that he hadn't known what colour Kankuro's hair was before that moment. And his eyes…? Had he noticed that? Hmm…they were brown too, but a different shade. The kind of brown like the trunk of an oak tree, really intense.

But Neji's observations were cut short when the face he was inspecting leaned forward and pressed those lips against his. He tensed again, this time in surprise. _Wha…? _

Kankuro softly broke the kiss and opened his eyes. He cupped the side of Neji face. "I've been feeling that way about you for…some time now. I was afraid you would reject me if I told you this…but then I realized that…if you felt the same way and I never found it would be a huge mistake."

Neji didn't answer. He gaped at the older teen with his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open in a quite un-Neji-like way. His brain had frozen and refused to restart.

Kankuro looked at him worriedly. "Neji….do you like me…?"

Regaining a bit of composure, he nodded.

The puppeteer smiled and wrapped one his arms firmly around his waist, drawing them closer together. This time Neji was a little more prepared and returned the kiss shyly.

Kankuro smirked. To hell with Genma.

Iruka let out a sigh. And not an ordinary sigh. It was one that started in his feet, surged all the way up to his chest and threatened to throw out his back as it came out of his mouth.

This week promised to be one of the _dullest_ in his Academy life, both for him and his students. His pre-genin class was a nervous wreck because the examinations were coming up. Iruka didn't do any physical activities with them, because during this period they practiced their ninjutsu and taijutsu at home. In class they all asked nervous questions about their written test, and Iruka didn't try to teach anything new.

With his younger class, he was doing physics, and despite his best efforts, most of the class fell asleep. They were all waiting eagerly for the practical demonstrations, so they would have a chance to _do_ something. Iruka dearly wished that the syllabus was different, so he could have an actual demonstration for every board example.

_Oh well_, he thought, as he turned back to grading very poorly-written tests on energy conservation, _at least at home sometimes I get to have some fu--_

"Iruka!"

_Whoops._

"Didn't I tell you to leave my stuff alone?"

Kakashi came in, brandishing another marred copy of his Icha Icha collection. Lately while at home he took off his hitai-ate and kept his Sharingan eye closed, displaying a little more of his mysterious face. Seeing both eyebrows scrunched up in a frown, Iruka was positive that the jounin was royally pissed.

"It's your own fault for laughing at me for...er...giving Kankuro-kun the uh...'talk'." He blushed. It was still embarrassing even though a few days had passed.  
"That's no reason to take it out on a work of art!"  
"Pornography is not art!"

"Yes it is! Look at any art book! Count the number of naked people against the dressed ones! Will you try to convince me that three fourths of all artists are perverts?"

"Nudity and pornography are not the same!"  
"Oh?"  
"Yes! There is a way...to be naked and not stir any erotic feelings at the same time!"  
"You're just rambling."

"I'm not! It's possible!"  
"And how will you prove that? Will you give me a demonstration or something?"

Iruka blushed two shades darker. "Of course not! You're stupid! And I'm not sorry at all that your pervert book has Censorship Bear all over it!"

"Why you!" Kakashi grabbed Iruka by the collar and lifted him up forcefully. He wasn't actually planning to hurt the chuunin, just duff him up a bit to teach him a lesson. But as he drew his fist back, Iruka opened his eyes really wide. The jounin froze.

Really wide eyes.

Really wide _amber_ eyes.

Really wide amber eyes that belonged to some furry forest creature, they couldn't be human.

"Ano..." Iruka was confused by the lack of violence from his flat-mate. The man just stood there, frozen, fist still clenched and in the air, staring at him. Iruka debated with himself over what to do. On one hand, it would be really stupid to remind someone to hit him, because he didn't like to fight unnecessarily. On the other hand, the position was rather awkward, the jounin's fist still around his collar, and he was growing uncomfortable under the stare.

He tried blinking, hoping to send the Copy-nin some kind of hint.

"Eh?" Kakashi blinked too, as if suddenly realizing who he had in his hands. And he promptly shoved Iruka away from him, rather hard. "What the hell are you _doing_?"

"_Me_? You're the one who just pushed me!" Iruka rubbed the back of his head, where he had hit the opposite wall.  
"Don't do that again!" Kakashi panted, rather agitated.

Iruka couldn't really tell, but he would have bet his lunch on the fact that Kakashi was _blushing _under his mask. "Do _what_ again?" He was immensely confused.  
"That eye--argh! Never mind!" The jounin then courageously jumped out the window, without his hitai-ate or his flak vest.

Iruka sat there for a few minutes, trying to make sense of it all. Censorship Bear smirked at him from the book, his speech bubble saying "Penis is not a nice word."


	22. Chapter 22

A/N : Sorry guys! I was So sure I had already posted this! My mistake!

Iruka was still musing about the jounin's reaction as he walked to school the next morning

Iruka was still musing about the jounin's reaction as he walked to school the next morning. _Something _had happened yesterday evening, yet he couldn't put his finger on it. It had to do with the expression on Kakashi's face...well the look in his eyes, anyway; he kept the thrice-cursed mask on despite the heat.

He frowned as he slid open the classroom door. _What_ had stopped his mortal enemy from getting his revenge yesterday? Guilt? Boredom? Cowardice? None of the options he weighed seemed likely, and there was nothing else he could think of. Yet...

"Ohayou, Iruka-sensei!" Shisetsu, the mild-mannered school principal, greeted him. Since it was a Ninja Academy, the Hokage oversaw the most important issues when it came to teaching the young pre-genin, so in reality the title was just an excuse to make him handle all the menial attendance paperwork and such.

"Ohayou, Shisetsu-san," Iruka answered politely, while he took his lesson plan out of his folder. He pretended to go over it while his mind was still on a certain silver-haired jounin. _Dammit, is that going to distract me all day? I need to forget about it! Concentrate on teaching!_

"Did you hear me, Iruka-sensei?"

"Eh? Gomenasai! I wasn't paying attention."

"I said that Tetsuo-sensei changed his status from chuunin-teacher to active chuunin, so he won't be teaching anymore. He'll do missions from now on."

"Really? Why the sudden change of heart?"

"He said that since we're helping Suna in the war effort, we'll be shorthanded, but if you ask me..." Shisetsu held up his pinky and gave Iruka a sly smile, "...he is trying to impress a lady friend."

"Hmmm..." The pony-tailed man answered noncommittally. Second to Izumo and Kotestu, the Omu (parrot) Pair, this man was one of the biggest gossips in Konoha. The only difference was that he didn't pull mean pranks on people whose dirty secrets he found out. He did a sort of public broadcast every afternoon, though.

"Anyway, we thought this was a good opportunity to introduce a new student-teacher. I'm assigning you to his training, Iruka-sensei."

"Hai! You can count on me, Shisetsu-san."

"Good, I'll introduce you as soon as he arrives. He should be here in fifteen minutes."

_New guy, eh? _Iruka doodled absently on the margin of his attendance sheet while he waited._ I hope the kids don't go too hard on him. I remember when I was a student-teacher...they did all the usual stuff...botched-up attendance...tack in chair...frog in lunch... _He sighed nostalgically. Those were the fun days.

Ayaha, who taught the rookie five-year-olds, came in.

"Seen the new guy yet?"

"No, Ayaha-sensei, I only heard about him a few minutes ago."

"He doesn't look very sturdy. It takes nerves of steel to keep these little demons in check without going insane."

"We'll know by the end of the day."

It was when the red-haired woman left that Iruka noticed that his doodles resembled Censorship Bear declaring a fornicating scene unseemly. He quickly tore the page to bits, blushing furiously. _Goddamn jounin, if I live with him long enough I'll become a pervert too! _

"Iruka-sensei? "

"Uhh, yeah?

"I want to introduce you to Takaba Harukiya, the new-student teacher."

"Hajimashite, you may call me Haru."

The dolphin looked Haru up and down. Young, maybe twenty, chuunin, like him, black mop of hair, no scars on the face and sure of himself. _He seems nice enough_, Iruka shook hands after introducing himself, _hopefully he'll last the day._

"Iruka-sensei! Iruka-sensei!"

"Haru-kun? What's wrong?"

"The students!"

"What about them? Are they all right?"

"I don't know! They've disappeared!"

Haru grabbed his senpai's sleeve and shook it desperately, at the end of his wits. Iruka sighed.

After second period, he had let Haru take over the class to see how well he handled it. Things were going smoothly enough, but Iruka knew it was because he himself was there. Excusing himself, he left the classroom and spied them from the window. At first, Konohamaru and his gang stayed quiet. Then a paper airplane hit the back of Haru's head.

Haru scowled at the class, but continued writing on the board. Then a spitball hit the board. Then a rubber band. Soon, a myriad of objects flew towards the front of the class. Poor Haru became a moving target. He yelled and demanded the names of the offenders to no avail. He told them he was going to step out of the classroom and when he came back he expected everything cleaned up.

He came back to encounter the empty classroom in toilet paper garland glory.

"Calm down, Haru-kun, I'm sure they wouldn't dare to leave the building."

Sure enough, when Iruka declared out loud that evening-long detentions and essays on the history of tea ceremonies were in order, the classroom refilled quickly. The chuunin sat down again at the teacher's desk as shaking Haru re-took the lesson. The newcomer kept shooting grateful glances his way. Iruka shook his head dismissively. _He has a lot to learn._

"Can I eat lunch with you, Iruka-sensei?"

"Sure." He scooted over so the younger man could have a seat.

"Man, it's not like I'm having second thoughts, but this is turning out harder than I expected."

"Children can a be a challenge, yes, but teaching them is a rewarding experience."

"I don't see what's so rewarding if they hate you."

"They don't hate you, Haru-kun, they're testing your limits."

"Well I think my limits have already been push--Agh!"

The dark-haired youth jumped away from the bento box he'd been opening. Rice, eel and vegetables were crawling with beetles and caterpillars, commonly found in anybody's garden._ Or more likely the school grounds_, Iruka chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Haru sounded hurt.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh. Here..." The dolphin held up his remaining soba, "...you can have what's left of mine, I'm not hungry anymore."

Haru blushed slightly as he took Iruka's bento box and thanked him. They sat in silence.

"Um...Iruka-sensei...?"

"Hai?"

"Do you uh...live alone?"

"No, I live with a extremely annoying jounin who is so perverted that his head would explode if he ever tried to do a good non-sex related deed that didn't favour him in any way."

Somewhere far away, Kakashi sneezed.

"Oh, you relocated for the refugees?"

"Yeah, it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"You're such a nice guy, Iruka-sensei."

"Eh?"

"No, I'm just saying..." Haru mumbled into his remaining soba.

Another silence followed; this time, Haru was lost in thought. Iruka remained oblivious, his thoughts having returned to the Copy-nin.

"Do you like him?" The younger chuunin blurted out.

"Nani?"

"Do you...like...your roommate?"

Iruka scowled. "I just said he's the biggest pest there is and now you ask me if I like him?"

"I'm sorry! I worded that question wrong!" Haru cowered under his senpai's glare. From nice teacher to nuclear meltdown in three seconds flat.

"What's your question, then?"

"Uh...it's sort of a delicate subject, and if you don't want to answer, it's all right..."

"What is it?" Iruka didn't intend to sound so angry, but the "liking Kakashi" question had set him off. Seriously, just when the rumors were dying down, too!

"Do you like men, Iruka-sensei?" Haru asked timidly.

Iruka stopped glaring. He thought about it. Even after his talk with Asuma, he wasn't sure. If someone came along and asked him if he found Orlando Bloom gorgeous, he wouldn't be able to say. "I don't know," he answered honestly, "though evidence suggests I'm more inclined to like men..."

Haru gathered his resolve and moved closer to the teacher. They didn't say much until the end of lunch.

After lunch, the younger chuunin had the misfortune of being the first one to class and the bucket of swamp-water someone had managed to obtain during the break fell on him. Iruka forgot about their conversation while he ordered the students to clean up and delivered a lecture on discipline.

Kakashi entered his house casually through the window, as a he always did. He'd managed to keep yesterday's incident out of his mind until now, and he hoped to do so the rest of the evening. Unfortunately, the man in question was making stir-fry in his kitchen right now, and ignoring him completely would probably lead to having pointy sharp objects thrown his way or finding something too spicy in his dinner.

"Hey, Kakashi." Had Iruka's voice always sounded so nice when he spoke his name? No, he must be imagining things.

"Yo." He opened Icha Icha, hoping for a distraction.

"We have a new guy at school, Takaba Haru."

"Hn."

"He did okay for a rookie, at least for the second half of the day. I was impressed with how well he handled the exploding tag situation."

"Hn."

"Funny thing is...he almost seemed to be hitting on me at lunch."

"Eh?" Kakashi sat up. A _guy_ had been hitting on Iruka? Outrageous! Besides, the chuunin was still in denial...right...?

"So I told him that maybe I was gay, but wasn't with anybody..."

"You did _what_?"

Iruka looked startled at the jounin. "Well, it's the truth...ne?"

"How come you didn't tell _me_ first you were coming out of the closet!"

"I thought you had already figured that out; you said so yourself!"

"So you'll trust some guy you never met with that?"

"What's eating you? Why are you so mad all of the sudden?"

Kakashi had the urge to pull his hair in frustration. "Arrgh!" For the second night in a row, he made a very macho escape through the window.

He ran through the streets, trying to unwind.

_What is he thinking? Of all people why would he tell him? Doesn't he understand that to a stranger that's as good as an invitation? What makes him think the new guy won't tell that blabbermouth Shisetsu? Damn!_

He finally came to a stop at the top of the Hokage monument. _And why am I acting like I'm jealous?!_

He teleported to the war memorial. "What am I worried about, anyway?" he asked Obito, filling him in on the latest. "This...can't mean..."

_That I'm in__** love**__ with that stupid chuunin?? _Kakashi was glad that his mask covered his blush, even if there was no one around.

"That can't be it! How could I be in love with a guy who crams bamboo sticks under my covers so I won't be able to sleep?" He punched a nearby tree. _What's wrong with me...?_

Obito cat-calling in his head didn't help. He sat down. He would have to figure this out before this Haru person did, that was for sure.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: Pretty soon it's going to be that time of year when I get so busy I won't come out of my rock in WEEKS on end

A/N: Pretty soon it's going to be that time of year when I get so busy I won't come out of my rock in WEEKS on end. So chapters will come in greater time intervals. Because in summer there is a rush of clients for some reason (college students?). Apologies in advance!

Kankuro yawned and took his time moving each limb out of bed. Bright sunlight streamed through the narrow opening the shutters left. Up at the crack of noon. Eh, it was a Sunday.

He slipped a shirt on. Usually he got up at a reasonable time, even on weekends, but today there didn't seem to be a good reason to. He wouldn't be able to see Neji before two today, and he didn't have to report to the Hokage today, so he just zoned out sitting in his bed, a luxury he didn't usually have.

Eventually, he shuffled into the kitchen and discovered he wasn't the only late-sleeper. Mai was making rice and egg in a cottony short nightdress and a pink frilly apron he loved. His hair was an unusual mess, but he seemed happy, humming as he broke eggs on the pan.

Kankuro still had his doubts about this person actually being a man, since all evidence seemed to point in the other direction; he even had boobs! The main difference between him and Temari was that he didn't get manically aggressive once a month, but that was no proof one way or the other. For all he knew, some women could be really good at hiding it, or just weren't in as much pain as others.

He was debating once again whether to raise the issue with the transvestite himself, when Genma appeared, retreating from the bathroom.

The jounin looked seriously sleep-deprived, and Kankuro guessed that it was partly late-shift work and partly locking himself in his room with Mai at night. At least he didn't hear them anymore; the jounin must have been using some kind of sound-jutsu.

Genma weaved his way through the kitchen, even though there were no people in his way. He made several attempts to kiss his lover's lips, missing five times before getting it right. At first the brunette was amused, but then he must have gotten tired or too expectant, because the next thing he did was pinch his boyfriend.

Genma yelped and looked much more awake. Kankuro thought perhaps this was a good time to point out how stupid he looked wearing only his boxers and his tiger paw slippers. But he decided against it when he noticed the jounin was still holding his hairbrush. That thing had proven its projectile power before.

He left the lovers to burn their eggs while smooching.

As the puppeteer walked to the familiar spot in the forest, he felt unexpectedly giddy. It had been a week since they had started "dating," if that's what you called stealing secret kisses under the protection of the thick foliage.

Despite their pride, they were both too shy to openly hold hands in public. In fact, Kankuro doubted Neji had even told his mother. He knew that male/male relationships happened spontaneously for ninjas, in fact for any mass of soldiers anywhere, so he doubted his mother would be shocked.

Still, there was a certain thrill in keeping it secret, and they both wondered how long it would last. Not that they would stop if anyone found out.

Neji looked as if he had expected his arrival at that precise moment when he stepped into the clearing. The pale-eyed Hyuuga didn't say anything. In fact he looked a bit nervous. Kankuro loved it when he could read some emotion in those blank eyes.

"Uh..." Neji moved forward uncertainly, "...happy birthday!" He thrust a package at Kankuro and bowed deeply. Surprised, the Suna nin took it. Neji could feel the blush still burning in his cheeks when he straightened.

"How did you know?"  
"Duh, _you_ told me the other day, idiot!"  
"You didn't have to go the trouble of getting me something..."  
"Just open it already!"

Kankuro smiled and tore aside the brown paper without hurry. He stared at the object in his hands. Without warning, he lunged at Neji, effectively tackling him.

"You are so frickin' _cute_!"  
"Am not! I'm a fearsome warrior! Let go!"  
"I love it."  
"Hmph!"

The older teen kissed his boyfriend's nose and smiled at the small, hand-made wood puppet he had received. It was crude, and the way the arms and legs stuck out of the body was a little macabre; they jutted out at the correct places, but somehow in the wrong positions, but he didn't care.

"I'll think I'll name it Neji." He received a gentle whack on the back of his head  
"Don't be stupid!"  
"Why not?"  
"Because!"  
"Tch! Fine!"  
"Name it something else; you already know who gave it you."

Kankuro cupped his chin with his hand and pretended to give it deep thought. Then he got an idea.  
"Ayame."  
"Who?"  
"You know, the guy from the Kajitsu stories. The one that made the rating go up because he declared he was a "receiver," not a "giver." It was a bad translation, but you know what I mean...right?"  
Neji blushed deeper and slowly nodded. "You mean between men...right?"  
"Of course! So, since it reminds me of you, and you're also a "receiver," Ayame's his name!"  
"_What??_" Another whack followed.

Kankuro laughed and protected his head from the onslaught of his blushing boyfriend. Seriously, did he also think that way already? Man, they were both as perverted and horny as...well, teenagers.

The truth was that if Neji offered to make love to him, the Suna nin wouldn't know where to go beyond taking his clothes off. Iruka sensei had said it was possible with the use of lubricant, but he hadn't gotten much farther than that.

He didn't _feel_ ready for sex. And apparently neither did Neji, who was still ranting and red-faced. He broke into a mischievous smirk. Not being ready for it wouldn't stop him from being an endless tease. He grabbed the pale-eyed Hyuuga by the waist and shoved him to the ground once more.

"So what are you saying? That you won't be my uke?"  
"Shut up! Do you even know what that means?"  
"Sort of...and you?"  
"Well...I sort of know...what...mumble...mumble..."  
"What was that?"  
"I said that I once accidentally saw someone..."

This caught the puppeteer's attention. He got off Neji and stared at him.  
"Who did you see?"  
The younger teen hesitated, but then decided to go ahead.  
"Do you remember the chuunin exam proctors?"  
"There were a lot of them."  
"Well one of them had spiky black hair and some sort of bandage over his nose..."  
"Yeah?"  
"And the other dude with a cool face and nice mop of brown hair over his eye."  
"What! You were checking him out?"

"Never mind that! The thing is, I scanned the building looking for my teammates and saw THEM instead."  
Kankuro leaned forward. "Were they going at it?"  
Neji blushed, but this time it wasn't an outraged blush. "Rather hard. I'm surprised they didn't get caught. I couldn't hear them, but I'm pretty sure the brunette was screaming."

At this point the Hyuuga's stomach sank. He hadn't been able to tell whether Izumo had been crying out in passion or pain. What if male sex really really hurt? Would he be able to walk afterwards or even go to the bathroom normally? His train of thought was interrupted by his boyfriend's muffled snickering.

"What?"  
"Don't lie to me, you got excited watching them, didn't you?"  
Neji turned away. "Maybe. What if I did?"

"You did, didn't you!" Kankuro felt his own cheeks starting to warm, though he didn't know why. "You perv!"  
"As if you were any better, asking me these questions!"

He began to wrestle away the cat hoodie, and Kankuro fought him off. The older teen tried to pin the Hyuuga down as they had done on their first match what seemed a long time ago, but Neji knew better by then. This time he wouldn't let Kankuro on top of him; it would be the other way around.

Being careful not to let go of any chakra lest he hurt his boyfriend, he began jabbing away with his index and middle finger. Kankuro let out a yelp and grabbed one of Neji's hands to keep him at bay while grabbing hold of his belt with the other. He unexpectedly brought the younger teen close to his face and promptly forgot about winning.

_Who on Earth can resist that face when it's intense like that?_ He leaned over and kissed the lips which he had been claiming over and over during the last few days. Startled out of his wrestling bout, Neji responded by kissing back and even groping the small of Kankuro's back a little. The Suna nin let out a grateful moan. Neji knew that Kankuro loved it when his physical response extended beyond the touching of the lips. He was also grateful that the older teen didn't protest when his hands found their way higher up his back, instead of lower.

Pausing for air, Neji rested his head against Kankuro's chest. He felt glad they were taking it slow for now.

They decided to part ways when the sky darkened not from the movement of Earth, but the coming of rain-filled clouds. A final kiss, and they went in opposite directions, both feeling quite contented.

Kankuro twiddled with Ayame a bit, considering righting the legs and then deciding against it on the grounds that it wouldn't be the same any more. Rain started to fall, lightly at first then more heavily, pelting the ground. Soon enough, everything was wet, including himself, but he was too happy to care.

It wasn't until he was almost out of the woods and onto the main road proper that he was distracted from the warm and fuzzy feeling. He turned to stare at the litter next to the road. He could swear it had just made a noise. He listened, dimly aware of the rain now crashing down on him.

Yes, there it was again, a whimper. Suddenly alert, he strode forward and picked away the pieces of rubbish on top of the pile. Was there a small abandoned child in there? Throwing away a soggy piece of cardboard, he looked at his discovery. It wasn't exactly what he had guessed, but it wasn't too far away from that either.  
"Oh."

Kakashi took a deep breath. He stared at the door in front of him. Sooner or later he would have to face this. He just wished it were later.

But just now he was soaked and frozen to his bones, and he knew that if he didn't warm up soon, he'd catch pneumonia and die. But going home meant facing Iruka. And facing Iruka probably meant that the chuunin would find out about his "crush."

Here's what would happen when Iruka found out: a) he would scream and run away in the opposite direction b) he'd laugh c) he would throw pointy sharp objects at him and tie him up to prevent any physical contact d) call him a pervert or most likely e) all of the above.

He took a deep breath, opened the door and awaited his fate.  
"Dear Kami, did you jump in the lake before coming here or something? Take your clothes off!"

Kakashi blinked. Well, that hadn't been something he'd anticipated Iruka saying.  
"You're shivering, too! To the shower _now_, on the double!"

The jounin allowed himself to be pushed to the bathroom by the chiding teacher. Soon, streams of hot water shot against his naked body. He let out a sigh of pleasure. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. If he avoided looking at Iruka and kept his hands to himself, maybe he'd live to see the end of the war. It was the second part that was going to prove the most difficult, he knew.

He toweled himself dry and slipped on fresh underwear, jogging pants and a T-shirt. Maybe he'd have a snack before disappearing into his room for the night.

Kakashi walked into the kitchen to see the chuunin already making him a hot stew. "Honestly, just after I washed the dishes t--"

Iruka stopped short. His mouth hung open. His brain tried to make him close it. But that took much effort and the arm that was holding the spoon was losing control. The brain grabbed hold of the arm and lost the jaw. It tried to momentarily control both and ended up losing them. The spoon clattered on the floor.

Kakashi watched all this with interest and slight apprehension, as he knew he was the subject of all these reactions. Was he naked? No...Was his shirt bloody? No... Were his pants wet for some reason? No... Was there something on his face? His face!!

Kami, he didn't have a mask on!

Kakashi stared at Iruka.  
Iruka stared at Kakashi.

The silence stretched. Eventually Kakashi decided that he was going to try to keep his cool after all and began eating the stew.

"Nice weather, ne, Iruka?"

The chuunin continued gaping like a drowned fish.

_This isn't going to be easy..._Kakashi remarked to himself as he spooned some chicken into his mouth.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: yes, I'm dead. But just becuase I love revies and fanfiction so much, I came back as an ectoplasmic forn just to post this. Remember to send your thanks in form of prayers to Shiranui later.

Iruka sat up abruptly. He noticed several things at once. First, he was late and would probably have to rush through breakfast. Second, it was a glorious day; the storm clouds from the previous night were breaking, allowing a few rays of sun through, giving the whole sky a majestic look. Third, he was hard.

Iruka couldn't believe himself. He hadn't had one of "those" dreams since he had broken up with Rika years ago. In fact, he had been so wrapped up in work that he hadn't had time to think about the opposite sex at all. Or, as he had found out recently, the same sex.

He desperately tried to remember what the dream had been about, or, more specifically, what he had been doing and with whom. He found he couldn't, so he took off his pajamas and dressed for school. He even brushed his hair a little, because it was unusually messy.

_Oh well, can't remember now, but it'll probably come back to me some time today…_. He stopped dead in his tracks. The cogs in his brain whirred with effort. What he saw in front of him had definitely, _definitely,_ absolutely nothing to do with his dream. Umino Iruka did _not_ just have a sex dream about unmasked Kakashi.

He stared at the uncovered face. He kept staring even though it was rude. His eyes were disobeying his brain. Iruka made a self-note to reprimand them later.

It wasn't that the face was absolutely gorgeous or flawless. There was the long vertical scar that came down from the left eye to the cheek. There was a short horizontal one on the right cheek, barely noticeable unless caught by the light, like right now. It was just the way the face was put together.

Instead of the perfect symmetry "beautiful people" seemed to have, this face was in a sort of harmony with nature. Eyes that complemented the nose, well-defined lips, not too sharp, not too round, and ears that seemed to put the whole thing together. A face young in age and old in battle. Everything was ever so slightly asymmetric (except the eyes, of course) in a way that somehow made Iruka feel at peace, though he couldn't define how. All he could say was that he could stare at this face for hours on end without getting tired.

"Are you planning on making breakfast today or sometime next week?"  
"Wuh...wuh...wuh..."  
"Iruka?"

Cogs scraped and whirred. "Whu...whu..._why are you going around without your mask_?" He finally managed to get out.

The jounin shrugged his shoulders noncommittally. "You've been here long enough, and I want to eat normally again, that's all."

Iruka processed this with a twitching eyebrow. Finally, he gave up and began heating up yesterday's wonton soup hurriedly. He banged and clattered about in the kitchen, without really knowing why. He wished he knew why his heart was beating against his chest so wildly. _Remnants from the dream last night...that must be it..._

"Er...Iruka...?"  
"What?"  
"Could you please stop sprinkling vinegar and sugar in our breakfast? It's going to taste funny."  
"Eh? Damn it!" He tried to scoop out the mess, "Sorry..." he muttered.

Kakashi thought all this was terribly cute (aside from the fact that his breakfast had probably just been ruined), but wasn't exactly sure how to react. Touching the young sensei was entirely out of the question, and talking to him was only going to distract him more. Fortunately, Kakashi was saved from making a decision, because right at that moment the front door burst open, and he had to run to his room to slip a mask on.

"Iruka-sensei, can I _please_ have breakfast here? Genma's being so dumb! I can't stand him!"  
Iruka blinked confusedly, but then broke into a relieved smile.  
"Sure, Kankuro-kun, have a seat. I'll serve this as soon as I can fix it..."  
"Thanks."

Kakashi re-emerged from his room looking a bit annoyed under his mask. He'd duff up the kid for interrupting, but he couldn't as long as Iruka was watching. True, Genma could sometimes be really insensitive towards people younger than him, so maybe he'd let this one slide.

He sat down next to the low table again as Iruka served the salvaged remains of the wonton soup. He fiddled with his food while he tried to think of a battle plan regarding his crush. Last night he hadn't even considered it, but….could it be possible that Iruka…dared he even think it…?…_returned _his feelings? _Don't be stupid, Kakashi_, Obito said_, he hates your guts, and the only reason he's still here is because he doesn't have a home_.

The jounin propped his elbow on the table. _But what if I made him like me….I could play the part…._  
_Tch! He'd see through it.  
There's no harm in trying….  
You could hurt his feelings; take that into consideration.  
Look, you like having him around, too. You've been bugging me less ever since he ca_me._ Plus, if he doesn't care for me, the worst I can do is piss him off...right?_

The only answer was an annoyed grunt of affirmation.  
_It's decided then, I'll find out how he feels about me.  
Just take it easy, okay? You saw how he was about coming out of the closet….  
Sheesh! It's not like I'm going to trick him into my room or something...although the possibilities are certainly tempting..._

"Kankuro-kun…?"  
The worried tone in Iruka's voice snapped Kakashi back to Earth. The teacher was staring at the Suna nin, specifically at his hood. It was then that the jounin noticed that it was moving.

"Hn?"  
"Uh...there's seems to be something...your cap..." Iruka trying to explain without being rude.  
"Do you have a squirrel in there or something?" Kakashi couldn't resist.

Kankuro briefly glared at the jounin before inserting his hand into the hood. What he produced made Iruka gasp in surprise and Kakashi blink. The jounin stared.

His first impression had been that he was seeing an ugly rat. Upon closer inspection, he realized that it was but a very small and unkempt kitten.

His experience with cats told him that they were very vain about their fur and kept it clean and shiny all the time. That would explain why he had first thought the kitty was ugly: its fur resembled the remnants of the explosion of a wool factory.

The animal meowed pitifully at being dragged away from the warm and secure place where it had been preparing itself to take a nap. The Suna nin held the kitten as if he thought it was going to break if he dropped it.

"I...found him yesterday. It seemed cruel just to leave him there to die in the rain, so I brought him here and gave him a bath. He yowled while I washed him, but settled down a bit after that..._still_, Genma told me to take him back this morning; can you believe that? And only because he bit him _twice_."

"Oh, well...maybe you should talk to him...I'm sure he wouldn't ask you to leave a stray in the streets." Iruka smiled, still gazing at the cat.

Kankuro made a face that made it clear that he thought the jounin would do just that and finished his breakfast. Under three watchful sets of eyes, the kitten made its way to Iruka and began sniffing him curiously. Iruka couldn't help but smile at how it reminded him of the first day of school, when the children seemed to be measuring him up.

"Iruka-sensei...I'm worried that he hasn't eaten anything; he must be starving."  
"He hasn't?"  
"I tried to give him some meat last night, but he didn't want it, so I tried some milk, but he didn't want that either...I don't know a lot about animals, but isn't it a bad sign if they stop eating?"

Kakashi gave out a sigh, got up and walked to the cupboard. He came back with what looked like a feeding bottle for a doll, which he handed to Kankuro. He told himself he was only doing this because he didn't want to look like a heartless and ignorant whatsit in front of Iruka...

"That kitten is the human equivalent of a six-week-old baby; it cannot even chew properly yet. Feed him with this bottle until he learns that solid things are food too."

"Oh...uhh...thanks...?" The teen hesitantly took the little bottle.

Iruka stared at Kakashi. "Where did you get that?"

The jounin gave him an amiable glance. "Sometimes my bitches have more pups than they can handle, so I have to help them out."

The teacher opened his mouth to chide him for using foul language and then realized that the words were right for the context. Blushing, he spooned some wasabi he had set as a side ingredient into his mouth as a pretext for his open mouth and promptly choked. He was still sputtering when a face appeared at the window.

"Haru-kun?"  
"Iruka-sensei! do you know how late it is? I was worried!"

"Huh?" The chuunin glanced at the wall clock, "Ahhhh! Must go now! Where's my lesson plan? The homework I graded? My shoes!"

"I can wait here in the window, Iruka. Then we can walk together." Haru crouched on the ledge and shifted to a more comfortable position.

Kakashi's head turned so fast he almost hurt his neck. Walk together? _Walk_ together? Why? What for? Iruka knew his way! They didn't even live near! That boy was _obviously_ trying to seduce his poor teacher by acting nice! He began clutching his cup so hard that little cracks formed, but he didn't notice.

Meanwhile, Kankuro rescued his pet from the chuunin's panic onslaught and put it on his shoulder. He was about to get up when he felt a familiar presence behind him.

"You can come back and bring the stupid cat, but only because Mai whined that yesterday was some special day for you or something stupid like that," Genma scoffed, "but if it isn't housebroken by the end of this week, I'll make myself a pair of fur mittens."  
"Genma!"  
"Tch! I'm not allowing an animal into my house that has the potential to soil my carpet."  
"Hmph! By the end of the week it'll have better hygiene habits than you!"

The Suna nin received a scolding knock on the head for his last remark as he got up, but he decided to ignore it and walked out of the apartment ahead of Genma.

The senbon jounin also turned to leave, in order to avoid being run over by Iruka in his scramble to get his books together, when he noticed something. Hatake Kakashi was _glaring_. Not just any sort of glare, but the kind of glare you gave to your worst enemy, to the person who ran your father out of business, insulted your mother and kicked your dog. That sort of glare. And coming from a legendary jounin, it was no small matter.

He looked around, expecting to see the victim cowering against the wall in fear. Instead, "the victim" hadn't even noticed. A young, dark-haired chuunin crouched on the window ledge with a cautiously happy expression on his face. He didn't even seem to have noticed Kakashi. In fact, all his attention was focused on a certain teacher who had finally found his lesson plan under the couch.

_Hmmmm, most excellent_. Genma chuckled to himself as he made the connection between Kakashi's glare, Iruka's tardiness and Haru's smile.

"Okay, class, pay attention to Haru-sensei!"

"Right, today our class is going to mix with two of the other forms, and we're all going on a field trip. So, since the other teachers don't know you, everyone is going to have a number assigned to them and is going to call it when we take attendance, understood?"

"Yes, Iruka-sensei." There was a distorted chorus.

"Now, when Haru-sensei calls your name, come forward, so I can give you your number and write it on your forearm so you won't forget."  
A girl named Hana put her hand up. "With a permanent marker?"

Iruka smiled reassuringly. "It _does_ come off skin, you just need a lot of soap. And we need it to stay visible all day, even if you guys get wet or sweat a lot."

Haru tapped his clipboard. "All right, class, gather up. Akashi Nobu, you're number one."

"What? I want to be number one, how come Nobu gets it? That's no fair!"  
"Tohru, this list goes in alphabetical order. And if you insist on trying to punch Nobu, you'll be on detention when we get back."  
"Wait! If we're going in that order, then I'm going be last!"  
"It's not my fault that my parent's last name is Nadeshiko! This is so unfair!"  
"I don't want to be last!"

Iruka sighed, took a deep breath and reminded himself of the many rewards that came with enlightening young minds. Tearing apart the two fighting children and comforting the crying one, he wrote "1" on Nobu's forearm. He then turned to Haru. "Who's next?"

As they went down the list, they went through the routine enough times for Iruka's mind to start to wander.  
_Is it my imagination, or has Haru been nicer lately? He's less tense around the kids, even though he keeps his lunch locked up now, and gets through the lesson plan more smoothly...yet this seems to happen only when he knows I'm watching. Is he trying to impress me or something...?_  
He glanced over at the young man calling role. Haru noticed the glance and gave Iruka a smile. The older chuunin looked away before he started to blush.

_Could Haru be...in love with me? It seems like it a little bit...Why do I think that? Is it the way he looks at me? I always seem to feel his eyes on me when we're in the same room. And yesterday when we were supervising shuriken practice, he kept bumping against me...could mean nothing though...I shouldn't read too much into this, otherwise I'll make a stupid mis--  
_  
"Iruka-sensei? Hanabi is number eight, not ten."  
"Huh?"  
"Too late, Haru-sensei! He already wrote it wrong."  
Iruka stared at the number on the young Hyuuga's forearm. "Well, uh...not all is lost, if I add another circle and uh..."  
"Sensei, that's an eighteen," Hanabi stated, looking at her arm.

"No...it's an eight...with a tree next to it!" Summoning his art skills, Iruka gave the former number one some branches, some roots and a few berries.  
He was starting the leaf details when his students couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing. Even Hanabi, ever so stoic, let out some giggles.

Iruka blushed and straightened. "Well...at least it's not an eighteen anymore...right, Haru?"  
His kohai didn't answer until he got his breath back. "Sure," he chuckled, "You sure have a weird sense of humour, Iruka-sensei..."

The dolphin smiled embarrassedly; what else could he do?


	25. Chapter 25

Kakashi made his way carefully down the stairs, balancing the laundry basket on his hip, as he'd seen many women do. He muttered a curse at Shizune for assigning him a seventh-floor flat. Finally stepping out into the street, he turned left and went straight into the Laundromat and eased the basket onto the floor.

He suppressed a sigh. When he had agreed to do both his and Iruka's laundry in exchange for the teacher cooking three times a day, he'd expected that the laundry would double, not quintuple.

As he discovered soon after they'd made their deal, children saw Iruka as a mentor, a role model and a handkerchief. Kakashi could hardly believe it the first time he saw Iruka's snot- and grass-stained shirt. And it was sticky, as if someone had spilled a soda on it.

Unwilling to believe that Iruka had poor hygiene habits after the row they had over Suugo, Kakashi decided to do some research. So he went to the playground during recess. A lot of brats screaming around, some eating their lunch and some throwing it, some crying because it was on the ground, and there was Iruka trying to maintain some semblance of order. Kakashi decided to keep a respectful distance and silently wished his roommate good luck, because two boys were starting another fight.

Just then, a brown-haired girl who was playing tag fell and scraped her knee. From his tree, Kakashi couldn't see if she was badly injured, but it didn't look like it. She started to cry, though. Iruka came over to her and wiped her injured knee with his shirt. _Ah-ha... _

The dolphin produced a band-aid from his vest, and two minutes later, the girl was running around again, and Iruka was giving a hug to the kid who lost the fight, getting snot on the front of his vest. Kakashi shook his head and returned home.

That had been shortly after Iruka had moved in. Now Kakashi sorted through the clothes whenever doing his roommate's laundry._ Ketchup stain: urgent; grass stain: urgent; caked mud: can wait; blood: maybe too late; snot: probably urgent...and this?_

The jounin held up a shirt that appeared to have every possible stain and more. The sleeves had sand, the front was sticky with some sort of candy, and the back looked like it had seen better days in a swamp.

Anyone else would probably have cried with frustration, but Kakashi smiled. All ninjas got their clothes dirty, but this was somehow uniquely Iruka. His Iruka. Even through his half-gloves, Kakashi could tell it had been worn recently; it was warm. Unable to contain himself, he sniffed it. Hmm, a bit of sweat and some other substances, but still undeniably a certain teacher's. He sniffed again, trying to memorize the aroma, even though he already had.

"Oi, Kakashi I forgot to give you my ve--" The subject of his fantasies had just walked in. Kakashi turned around while trying to put down the shirt and discovered that it had become stuck to his own shirt._ Oh, shit._

"What are you doing?"  
"Um...I was looking at this shirt...what did you DO to it, ask the children to dirty it especially just to annoy me?"  
An unexpected blush came over the teacher's cheeks. Kakashi worked hard on not blushing also, but then he remembered he had the mask on because he was outside.

"Well, what did you expect? We had a field trip and at the end everyone was tired and cranky! At least Haru had the good idea of giving the children lollies to keep them quiet during the walk home!"

Kakashi's voice unexpectedly rose at the mention of Haru. The jounin unintentionally drew himself up. "So you're telling me a kid stuck his or hers on your shirt for a keepsake?"

Iruka suddenly felt a bit smaller "No, it was sort of an accident, actually..."  
"Hmph, well remember that I'm the one suffering for this next time you give out candy!" Kakashi unstuck his shirt and shoved Iruka's in the machine.

"Listen yo--" Iruka never got to finish his sentence, because as he stepped forward he slipped on some spilled detergent. He tripped over a wheeled laundry basket, landed inside it, and scooted down the aisle of washing machines, his butt in the basket. He avoided completely crashing into the wall by kicking his legs out to hit it. Once he stopped, he scrambled off the cart, blushing crimson from embarrassment.

"Iruka, Iruka, are you all right?" To the dolphin's surprise, the person he expected would be laughing his guts out was now next to him, looking fairly concerned. He himself, however was not feeling too jolly. He faced his room-mate with the angriest expression he could muster while feeling he could die of embarrassment.

"This is all your fault! You make me do stupid things!"  
"Iruka...?"  
"Hmph!" Iruka turned tail and walked-ran out of the place. It wasn't until he was back in his room that he stopped to analyze things properly.

_Why did I blame Kakashi because I made an ass of myself? So childish…of course, he was being stupid about the shirt and the candy, but I didn't have to lower myself to his level;. I just thought I would die, letting him see me in such an embarrassing position…WHAT? No…I don't care what he thinks of me or how he sees me. RIGHT? Right._

Iruka woke up with a smile. He arched his back until he heard a crack and swung his legs over his bed. He walked out of his bedroom feeling happier than he had since...last year around this time, actually.

He turned on the rice cooker and cracked a pair of eggs over the hot frying pan whilst humming to himself. Just then, Kakashi walked in, stifling a big yawn. Without missing a beat, Iruka put down the pan, turned and gave his roommate a bone-crushing hug.

Kakashi's brain stopped processing the details of his last mission. _What the--? _

"Happy last day of school!!" Iruka doubled the strength of his hug, setting a new high on Kakashi's meter, which must be something, since he had been a partner of Gai's.

"Ugh! Nice to...see you so excited...Iruka..." The jounin was forced to gasp between words.  
"No more marks, no more tests! No more detentions!"  
"Yes..."  
"And think about it! It's finally summer! I can get some money saved at last!"  
"What...do you...mean?"

Realizing the conversation might otherwise take all morning, Iruka released the jounin.  
"On summers I get to do regular ninja stuff, just like you!"  
"So you're not staying home?"  
"Are you kidding? And miss out on the opportunity of having adult conversations with mature people? I mean I love kids, but I live for summer!"  
"What then, so I don't count?"

Iruka ignored him and continued to make breakfast with a goofy smile on his face. Kakashi was torn between being mad for being called immature and gloating over seeing his sensei so happy. He decided not to commit and read Icha Icha instead. _Coward_, Obito mocked distantly.

Genma strolled casually towards the village gates, clicking his senbon between his teeth. Once he had considered having a cigarette instead, but decided against it when a doctor described the sound of his smoking father's lungs as like "a barn full of howling owls." Doctors were weird.

Regardless, Genma worked hard to have a cool image, and he was convinced that carrying the needle-like weapon around gave him a sharp edge. Add in the perpetual half-frown and slump, and you had the second coolest ninja of Konoha.

Since the Ninja Academy he'd learned he'd never top Kakashi, and since becoming a jounin he'd stopped being bitter about it. Now they were even friends of sorts. Shortly after giving up his hobby of hating the infamous silver-haired nin, he had met Izumo and Kotetsu and took up a new after-hours hobby: set up unlikely couples, and if it doesn't work out, gossip mercilessly about them.

Kotizu, as he called them, were more into this "hobby" than he was, but he still enjoyed being a channel of dubious information for the ninja half of the village.

As he neared the gates, he smirked as he saw his partners in crime, heads hunched together, deep in conversation. Plotting again, no doubt. He slowed his pace so his footsteps wouldn't be too obvious, and he could hear better.

"...and we set up Asuma's and Kurenai's 'blind date'..."  
"Do we just tell them we need to meet and not show up, so they're alone?"  
"Basically."  
"Should we be there in disguise?"

"What are you two scheming?" Genma decided to make his presence known.  
Izumo looked up and smiled conspiratorially. "Come scheme with us."  
"I would love to, but I'm busy doing some actual work."  
"What, guarding the gates doesn't count?"  
"It would count if you guys paid any actual attention to the road, which you don't."  
"Details, details. You have anything to tell us?"  
"Yes, Sen-kun, any recent dirt?"

Genma made a pause before answering, just to annoy them. He moved his senbon from side to side in his mouth and absentmindedly looked at the foliage of the nearby trees.  
Kotetsu couldn't take it. "Is it that good?"  
"It has the potential to be."  
"Oh?""Well...how to put this? You remember Iruka sensei?"  
"We had some stuff going on about him and Kakashi not long ago, yes."  
"Turns out I have fresh stuff on him."

"Go on."  
"Well this morning our sensei was really happy; in fact, he was positively glowing. It was hard to look at him without eye protection."  
"He did it with Hound?" Izumo exclaimed with fangirlish stars in his eyes.  
"Shut up, I'm not done yet. So Iruka sees the nuisance coming down the stairs and jumps up and gives him this huge hug."

"So now he's a pedo?"  
"I'm not done, Kotetsu! So we see Kakashi come out of their flat as well, looking positively annoyed. He glares at the nuisance and ask Iruka 'Are you going to give everyone a free hug today then?' "

Izumo slammed his palm on the table with a big smile on his face now. "That means Hound got one too! This IS news indeed! Wait 'til everyone knows..."  
Kotestu looked happy too, but he continued to analyze the situation. "But then our sensei hugged Kankuro too, so does that mean he was giving out free hugs?"

It was Genma's turn to smile importantly.  
"I had that theory too, so I set out to test it. I asked Iruka if I could get one, and you couldn't imagine the look he gave me."  
Izumo didn't suppress his laugh. "Did he tell you that he was worried that Mai would punch him or something?"  
"Sort of. My attention was taken up by trying to gesture to Kakashi that I was joking; he looked ready to Chidori my ass."

The conversation went on long enough for the sun to set, by which time only food stalls remained open. When the jounin finally left, the two guards discussed amongst themselves once more.

"So now we're looking at throwing Hound, Iruka and this new kid named Haru together, hmmm..."  
"The most likely strategy is a mission, now that those two are done with school."  
"True that, and then Hound could come in, too..."  
"But we need someone to relay the events to us..."

They looked at each other and smiled at the same time. "Methinks it's time to use our influence around the Mission Room once more."  
"I quite agree."

Neji took a sip of his Oolong tea. A long sip. He let the bitter yet refreshing liquid pour down his throat without rush. He did his best to enjoy it. Because right now, that tea was the only thing giving him any kind of pleasure

The room was full of drunken, half-naked, laughing adults. The atmosphere reminded him of that time when he had to escort a girl to a concert as a mission. It had been incredibly crowded and noisy, and someone had spilled beer on him. Well, nobody had spilled beer on him so far tonight, but it was still early. Neji suppressed a scowl of annoyance. He'd been flattered to be able to go to a jounin party with his boyfriend, but now Kankuro was gone, and he was the only under-aged ninja around.

He'd never known adults could be this loud; the roar of conversation drowned out the music on the stereo. He took some chips from the table bowl and ate them, bored out of his mind in the middle of a wild party. Two of his formers teachers were present, Ayaha-sensei and Iruka-sensei. Iruka had seen him enter the Academy, but it was Ayaha who had seen him graduate. They'd both greeted him, and Iruka had forbidden him to go anywhere near the now-empty beer cases. Asuma, Kurenai and Kakashi, who he knew were jounins and leaders of a three-man squad each, were also present. Aside from them, there had been the exam proctors, but two of them had disappeared early on.

The only person he didn't know at all was a younger chuunin, perhaps three or four years older than him, who, according to Iruka, was a teacher-in training. If anything, he looked as if he felt even more awkward than Neji, and had been nursing the same can of beer since the party started. He seemed as if he wanted to sit near Iruka and Ayaha, which was logical, since they were his colleagues, but was somehow intimidated by the jounins, which didn't make sense, because there was no reason for hostility.

Neji decided that if Kankuro didn't arrive in the next five minutes, he'd investigate the scared-chuunin situation, because there didn't seem to be anything else to do. At that moment, the door burst open.

"More beer!" Mai, who was Genma's date, proclaimed as she entered the room. Kankuro had said he was male, and Neji had confirmed that, but for all intents and purposes he'd decided to think of that person as female. It was easier to talk to her that way. Neji jumped up, not because he wanted the bitter beverage--he'd sneaked some and hated it-- but because his boyfriend had gone with Mai to the store.

Kankuro tried not to make it too obvious that he was happy to see his boyfriend. They'd both agreed that it would be a very bad idea to let Neji's uncle find out anything about them. He set down the beer case he'd been carrying and walked casually toward the long-haired youth. Between the music and the talking, he doubted he'd be able to make himself heard, so he motioned him toward his room with his head.

He opened the door and immediately began nudging his cat back into the room with his foot because the kitten was trying to make a desperate dash for freedom.

"Get in!"

Pushing the cat with his foot and grabbing Neji by the elbow, he walked in and closed the door behind them before anyone noticed they were gone.

His escape foiled, the kitten began to meow pathetically.  
"Oh shush, you; if I let you out, somebody'll step on you, and then I'll have to kill that person."  
"So, this is your new cat? He's quite small."  
"Eh, he'll grow."

"What's his name?"  
"Not sure..."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"Well I call him 'Fag Kitty' in front of Genma, because it makes him mad; Genma just calls him 'stupid cat,' and for the past week Mai's been calling him 'Strawberry'."  
"Strawberry?"

"See how he has sort of brown stripes on the orange fur? But they're not really stripes; they're more like a dot pattern...anyway, Mai says it reminds her of the little dots on strawberries."  
"Right..."  
"Yeah, I don't get it either."

Neji stroked the kitten's fur with casual interest. Kankuro stared at both and wished he had something witty to say or at least a name for his cat. For some reason, now that Neji was there, actually sitting at the foot of his bed, he had become inexplicably tongue-tied. Fortunately, the Hyuuga teen didn't seem to notice, engrossed as he was in becoming friends with the little no-name cat.

"If the goal is annoy Genma, why not call him Kyatto or Neko?"  
Kankuro shook his head to clear his mind from the murky depths into which it had been sinking and refocused on the present.

"That wouldn't really annoy him; he'd just call me stupid for naming a cat 'cat'."  
"Hmmm, how about Noraneko?"  
"'Alley cat'? But he was found in the garbage..."  
"There's no Kanji for garbage..."

During their conversation, Neji had picked up the cat. Now annoyed at being held too long, he swiped at his holder's fingers.  
"Ow!"  
"Hey, don't do that!" Kankuro chastised.  
The side of the Hyuuga's index finger was bleeding. "Damn, his claws are sharp."

Kankuro examined the cut. "Tell me about it, they're like little needles." He considered going to the washroom for something like a band-aid, but he had a better idea. Leaning forward a bit he licked Neji's finger.  
"Hey..."

Seeing as the protest was half-hearted, he inserted the whole digit into his mouth. The blood tasted coppery, which he expected, but what surprised him was the lingering shirmp-flavour of the chips. For some reason it made him laugh, and he had to let go.

Neji blushed and half-turned to fiddle with the woodworking tools Kankuro had on his desk. Still a bit shy, Kankuro wrapped his arm around Neji's shoulders.

The Suna nin felt a hand on his own and smiled. After a moment's thought, Neji had an idea.  
"How about Seika?"  
"Like the flower?"  
"Yeah. His fur pattern is unusual, black mixed with white, orange and brown. As if he's a half-half-breed."  
"How does the flower come in?"  
"Well, flowers usually have one colour and are considered pure and stuff, so it's ironic."

Kankuro stared at his cat, who was now bent in two, licking its hind legs. "It fits...or it would, if he wasn't a male."

He was silent for a moment. "I know! What's the name of that flower cluster that we saw near the river? I said that it looked like the tail of some animal, and you said the name had to do with tail or something..."

"Spiketail? Kinofuji?"  
"That's it! C'mere Kinofuji, you have a real name now!"

Kinofuji, for his part, ignored his master and batted a piece of string he'd found like it was the most exciting thing he'd done it his short life. Kankuro shook his head and nuzzled against Neji's shoulder. He wondered how many opportunities he would have to see Neji like this before returning to Suna. It was easy not to think about it, but he knew that eventually he would have to face that decision.

"Neji...when do you think this war'll be over?"  
"Hn? Why do you--"

He never got to finish his question because at that moment the door banged open. One of the exam proctors, the tall, scary one, was smiling at the two teens in a way that reminded Kankuro of why he usually avoided his brother.

"Ha! I guessed you two were hiding in here! Out! Out! We're starting the King Game!" His breath smelled like sake.

Ibiki shoved them out of Kankuro's room. Kankuro began to worry about Kinofuji and was relieved to see that the kitten was so scared of the jounin that it hid in the narrow space beneath his bed.  
"Um...I don't know what the King Game is..." began the Suna nin.  
Neji made a face as he tried to twist out of Ibiki's powerful grip. "Are you familiar with the game 'spin the bottle'"?

Kankuro's stomach dropped. He knew "spin the bottle." And he knew that the living room was full of drunk adults, two thirds of them male. Now he understood why Neji was trying to break away.

"Er...is it really what I'm thinking?"

Neji weighed the trouble he'd get in for attacking a superior with the Gentle Fist against the potential humiliation. Too late; they were already in the living room.

"Kind of like that but more risqué."

A/N: sorry for the complete and utter lack of Haru vs Kakashi that some people were expecting...thought it DID start (sort of)  
this chapter ties up some loose ends, so we can expect some full-blown fight next time (I hope...)


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: I want to thank all the people who have read my story and commented so far. Your comments make me thrive to write more! Thank you!!

Lately I've been getting few comments in LiveJournal, which kind of depresses me becuase I used to gets LOTS when I started the story (has it deteriorated or something?)

but this site has as many as ever, so it sometimes lifts my spirits :)

I appreciate the constructive critisism!

"Why do I have to be here?"

"Because too many people have bailed out on us already."

"There must be a reason! I don't wish to play this game either!"

"Oh you wuss, stay one round, and then you can go."

Kankuro sat down with a snort. There was just no convincing drunk people, especially Genma. He didn't want to do this, now that Neji had whispered the rules to him, but part of him, the part that liked to gamble, told him this could be an excuse to touch Neji without getting accused of anything. But the odds were bad.

For one thing, there was the exam proctor who'd dragged them out of his room, who was big, scary and completely wasted. He had one arm around Kankuro and the other one around Neji, preventing them both from leaving. Both knew the man was drunk and had a fairly good idea of the number of melee weapons under his coat. Despite of how overly friendly he was, running away didn't seem like an option at the moment.

Also, Kankuro didn't fancy any physical contact with the rest of the partygoers, since he only knew two of them, both grown men. One round, that's all, he told himself and glanced apologetically at Neji, who kept shooting angry glances at him and Ibiki for being forced to stay.

"Okay, let's begin!" Mai, whose second job after being hostess was to stay relatively sober, brought out eight chopsticks narrow side up. To Kankuro's surprise, he was king first. He glanced at Neji, who cautiously showed him three fingers.

"Um...number five and number two...must hold hands."

"Is that really it?" Kakashi and a chuunin named Ayaha had their hands casually clasped together. "Usually this game has more spice; that's the fun of it."

"Sh-shut up!" Kankuro gave the stick back to Mai, who smiled at him sympathetically. "That didn't count."

"Exactly," Genma intervened, senbon long taken away by his girlfriend, "That was a practice one. Now the fun really begins!"

"What? You said we could leave after a round!"

"The practice one doesn't count, teme, now stop whining and grab one!"

Kankuro wondered if Genma would remember it tomorrow if he punched him now, but decided against it. He sat back sulking and awaited his fate, because now he was number four, king no more.

"Oh, I'm king," Mai declared happily, "Okay, number seven must rest his or her head on number three's lap!"

"I'm not doing it!" Neji sprang up, dropping his stick marked seven. "This is stupid! I don't even know why I should be here!"

"Obey her majesty's orders!" Ibiki demanded and grabbed the Hyuuga youth by the shoulders and forced him onto his lap.

Everyone but Kankuro laughed as Neji tried desperately to get away from his captor, who was determined to carry out the orders properly.

When Mai determined that he was satisfied as monarch, the two teens ran from the room, the Suna nin shooting a malevolent glare at his guardian before following his boyfriend.

"Ha! I'm king!" Genma gave the room a sly look before continuing, "And my wish is for number two to feed number six romantically! Use the grapes."

Haru, who was braver now that he'd drunk more beer, grabbed the fruit bowl. "Who's number six?"

To his delight, it was Iruka who smiled shyly and made a slight wave. Fortune's smiling my way! Hello, spring-time! But before he could get closer to his mentor and colleague, he sensed bloodlust.

And then he saw him, the jounin with the evil stare, sitting next to his crush. For some reason this white-haired man had been telepathically threatening him all evening every time he got within a one meter-radius of Iruka. Even with alcohol in his veins he couldn't ignore this one; it reminded him too much of Oni drawings in those children's books he read in class.

Teary, he turned back and threw himself at Genma. "I'm sorry, your majesty, his roommate is too scary!"

"Kakashi! Be a team player! Besides, it's only a game."

"Hmph!" Kakashi wondered if he too, had had a drink too many and was throwing caution to the winds. It was hard to think, but he recalled deciding that Iruka shouldn't find out that he liked him.

Iruka vaguely noticed that his kouhai wasn't near him anymore. He didn't take alcohol well, he knew, but this was once a year. He lived downstairs, so he wouldn't get lost on the way home, therefore tonight he didn't care. Kakashi and Genma were bickering about something. Then Mai gave out chopsticks again.

He got number three this time. The three lines that defined the character made him giggle for some reason. It was funny because the middle stroke was shorter than the other two, even though writing the three of them the same length was acceptable too. While he pondered over this, Genma and Mai gave each other drinks, sloshing liquid over the sides of the glasses.

Then chopsticks were given out again. Iruka stared at the red dot on his. Oh yeah...time to knock this up a notch! "Number two and number four have to make out for ten minutes!"

"Wh-what?" Kakashi looked at the "four" on his stick in disbelief. And then at the "two" on Haru's. Oh, Kami, this cannot be happening!

"C'mon, get to it!" Iruka used his commanding sensei voice. "Take off your mask at once!"

"No!" The silver-haired nin didn't know what his favourite sensei might do in this state, but he didn't want to find out. Haru was useless, sitting there with a mortified look in his face. _Run, you idiot!_

Having failed to persuade his flatmate to remove his mask, Iruka decided that a kiss through the mask was good enough. He grabbed struggling Kakashi and immobile Haru and brought their faces so close that their noses touched. And then they reacted. Kakashi would've twisted away more violently if he hadn't feared hurting Iruka's arm. Haru just jumped backwards.

"Ibiki! Help me here! They're defying my orders!"

"Will do, your majesty!"

The day after, sober, Kakashi found it hard to describe what had happened next. But a logical explanation was that his and Haru's frantic struggles made Iruka lose his balance and fall forward. Being intoxicated as he was, Iruka didn't try to stop his fall. Ibiki, who had been coming forward to help, somehow was there when the sensei fell. And somehow, somehow, it made Kakashi's head hurt to think how, the jounin captain's and the teacher's lips had connected.

What really bothered Kakashi was what had happened right then. Instead of blushing, becoming embarrassed or fainting from shame, as one would expect the modest teacher to react, Iruka had pulled the head of interrogation and torture into a deeper kiss and almost needily rubbed his leg in between the older man's. Ibiki seemed so surprised at these advances that he didn't respond at all. For two ninjas in the room, time slowed to a painful crawl. One white-haired jounin couldn't bring himself to wrench the interrogation master away from his roommate and kill him, and the young chuunin attempted to destroy the object of dischord. He missed, and brought down Iruka instead, who asked why did he do that for, he was having a good time. A drunken argument broke out and it ended with spilled beer, some tears and lots of gossip-worthy lines.

The party ended not long after.

Iruka had known something was amiss when Izumo handed him his mission scroll with such a huge smile. The feeling reinforced itself when he found out that Kakashi was also assigned to the mission. And now it was a full-blown premonition.

Here he was, trotting away from the village gates to complete a ninja mission the way he liked. But instead of feeling cheerful, he felt an impending sense of doom. And it had everything to do with the intense stares his companions gave each other behind his back.

The sensei glanced back at his roommate and his kouhai. He couldn't figure it out, but those two plain didn't like each other. They'd been acting weird since this mission started...well no, Kakashi, at least, had been acting weird since the morning after the party. He accompanied Iruka whenever he went out, he wanted to know everything about his missions and kept glancing at the windows as if he expected Orochimaru to jump into their home.

Iruka pretended to scratch his nose to hide the blush he got at remembering all the attention he had been getting from the Copy-nin. _Seriously, that idiot Kakashi has always been weird...but now even Haru's acting funny...what does all of this mean? _

"Yo, lover-boy, watch where you're going; you'll bump into a tree." Genma, who was the head of the party right now, had at some point turned around without Iruka noticing.

"D-don't call me that! And I'd be more alert of those two weren't so distracting! Aren't the people at the Hokage's office supposed to put together teams that work well together? Those two clearly don't!"

"Oh, don't be so dramatic, lover-boy. You yourself put together Naruto and Sasuke, and in the end it worked out fine."

"Don't call me that. And those two were boys, they had space to grow. These are supposedly grown men!" Iruka jabbed his thumb over his right shoulder to point at the two opponents, who hadn't noticed they were being discussed.

"When there's love involved, all boundaries are lost; you should know that." Genma gave a suggestive smile.

"What the hell?"

"You seemed so happy the other night with Ibiki; gosh, I even thought that you two had something goi--" He had stopped to dodge a kunai from the infuriated teacher. He let out a laugh and jogged on down the road, followed by the strange party. _This is awesome; Kotizu are going to die of envy when they hear how it went!_

Haru enjoyed the sun on his face as he jogged. It felt so good after being closed up in a stuffy classroom for more than two hot months, but he knew he didn't have the right to complain. Iruka-sensei spent ten out of twelve months in that classroom, and he never complained.

Iruka-sensei...

Haru stole a glance at his senpai, who trailed behind him. When he had turned eighteen, he'd realized that he'd completely dedicated his life so far to becoming a better ninja and supporting his village. There was nothing wrong with that; he didn't resent it, but his social life wasn't extremely active.

He knew he wasn't an outstanding ninja; he had no clan jutsus, and he hadn't developed any of his own yet, but he wasn't too shabby either; if he kept improving himself, he could be jounin. But what he wanted to do right now was to figure out what he wanted to do with his future.

He'd told this to his jounin teacher, who'd suggested he make himself useful at the Academy while planning his next steps. Shortly after, Haru had decided that if he was to figure out his life, he would have to know romance also. His problem was that he didn't know a lot about the wide world outside being a ninja. Starting conversations on topics unrelated to fighting was awkward, even with the teammates from his three-man cell.

It wasn't as if he didn't know sex. He had a fair face and a strong, lean body with taut muscles. More than once he'd been offered mission sex, and a few times he'd accepted. But mission sex was a way to relieve stress and get the mind off things for a bit; it had nothing to do with love. What he wanted to know is how it felt to do that while actually caring for the person you were with.

It was when he'd almost given up hope on getting anywhere in the romance department when he'd met Iruka. His senpai had struck Haru as a cool guy from the start. He was direct, authoritative, strict, yet funny and easygoing too. Haru hadn't planned on trying to woo a man, but hey! Shinobi often became bored and lonely during long missions, and since the ratio of ninja men to women was two to one, it wasn't rare that gay relationships sprung up between the village's toughest.

The young chuunin hadn't been sure how to even start, but his jounin sensei had always said: "The right kind of perseverance can yield you what you wish; always work smarter, not harder."

Haru planned to impress his senpai by being an excellent teacher, which didn't work out the way he'd envisioned it, but at least Iruka seemed to be having a good time.

Next, he'd started to make thoughtful gestures, such as staying late in school to tidy up the classroom and picking up Iruka at his house in the mornings so they could walk together. He'd been in the middle of this "second phase" when he noticed he had a rival: Iruka's roomie, the white-haired jounin.

Haru had decided to pretend that "the incident" had never had happened and that he'd become acquainted with his rival by chance. Ever since this mission started, he'd been trying to figure out ways to get this man out of his way and somehow win Iruka's favor. It was risky business, since this Kakashi was probably thinking the exact same thing and had the advantage of more experience. Haru knew that if he didn't make a move soon, he'd probably be shut out by the more experienced jounin. But what could he do in the open and in broad daylight?

"Watch out! Cart!" The second jounin warned ahead of him. Surely enough, there was an ox cart going in the opposite direction, headed straight at them in the narrow road. Haru started to jump out of the way like the others when he felt something like rope wrap around his ankles.

"What th-?" He only had time to recognize chakra wire before falling gracelessly into a watape bush. He cursed loudly when he discovered the nature of the plant. Soon enough his teammates came to see what had happened. Predictably, Genma laughed, Iruka looked concerned and Kakashi pretended he wasn't gloating.

Haru scowled as he tried to disentangle himself from the hooked thorns. He was going to conquer Iruka, even if it meant he had to fight this man head-on. Stubbornness knows no boundaries.

A/N: sorry for the lame ending of the party...but I coudn't think of anything else TTTT


	27. Chapter 27

Thanks again for all the reviews! And my apologies for the short chapter ;

Kakashi wanted to smash that kid's head in. He wanted to summon all his ninken to hold him in place and then beat the crap out of him. But that would be poor sportsmanship, not to mention that Iruka wouldn't be very pleased. So for now he'd grit his teeth and contend with the situation. Which meant running to avoid being skewered by a wild boar.

Kakashi had trouble deciding what annoyed him more, that Haru had set this dumb animal on him or the fact that he couldn't just throw a kunai at its head and be done with it. He finally found a tree that looked sturdy enough to withstand a head-on ram, which was what the boar was likely to do, and leapt onto it.

He sighed. They were now in enemy territory and were very close to their target. They had to be really careful of not leaving any evidence of their presence at all. Killing it with a kunai would leave signs of ninja presence, and calling his ninken to make it look like an animal killing was a waste of time and chakra. He would have to plot carefully to get back at this brat. And last night hadn't gone so well on the romance front. In fact, it hadn't gone well at all.

During the afternoon, the wind brought black clouds that hung threateningly over them for a few hours before letting go of their heavy cargo. It alternated little droplets and bucketfuls of water. By nightfall, as well as they could judge it, they gave up on the idea of it letting up and having the chance of building a fire. So they set up the tent. And stared at it.

"Iruka-sensei...what kind of tent is that?"

"Well, the tag said 'fits three to four people', so I thought it was appropriate..."

"Are you sure it didn't say 'fits three to four _children_'?"

"Genma will you _shut up_? I'm soaking wet and tired; get in already or stand here in the rain!"

Awkwardly, the four men got in the tent and attempted to take their wet clothes off and get into their sleeping bags inside the too-small tent. Iruka tried to place his own sleeping bag in the far left corner, where he liked it. This was not a simple matter, however, since two of his companions immediately began a fierce battle to determine who would sleep next to him. Iruka didn't understand why he was the sudden object of argument but solved the problem by announcing that he could sleep snuggled between Kakashi and Haru since the night was chilly for a summer one. Then Genma complained that this arrangement left him out in the cold side and demanded to be in the middle of the group. The argument broke out anew as to which of the two undeclared suitors would sleep by Iruka's remaining side.

Finally Iruka lost his patience and yelled at Kakashi for being childish. He set up the bags according to rank, and Kakashi was the last one awake, silently glaring at Haru for snuggling in pretended innocence with his roommate and at Genma for simply existing. His glare intensified when he remembered the fuss the sensei put up over sleeping with him that very first night at the apartment.

_Maybe this time he's okay with it because there's two more people and there's less chance of any groping happening,_ Obito suggested quietly.

_Maybe he's fine because Haru already pulled a move!_

_Maybe you're overreacting and need to take your time with this romance business..._

_And maybe you're just stupid!_

Kakashi shook his head at his memories of last night and climbed a little higher up the strong ash he'd found. He felt for his companions' chakra. Iruka was about twenty meters off to his right, probably looking for them in the trees. The Enemy was a hundred meters behind him, in the boar's den, where he'd provoked the beast. And Genma was...right next to him.

The Copy-nin pretended he was not startled by the sudden appearance of the Special Jounin. He berated himself for not being more alert now that they were so close to the target.

"So how are you holding up against your young quarry, eh, Hound-chan?"

"I can handle tusks and fur by myself, thank you."

"You know what I'm talking about...or rather who. Someone less hairy and more handsome than our young friend down there." Genma smirked and waved at the infuriated boar, who was still trying to down the tree with all his might.

Kakashi scowled. It was impossible to keep things like this from this idiot and the two other gossips. If it was something as simple as plain lust and desire...things might be different. But what he felt for Iruka was more than that, and he wasn't about to mess up his chance by making the wrong move.

"Whether the young fool is my rival or not is none of your concern Sen-chan."

"I'm surprised you went this far without a lot of competition, actually; Iruka-kun does have a great as--"

"This is my tree, get off it NOW!"

Kakashi aimed his kicks at Genma's ribs. When the senbon-jounin finally leapt to the next tree, Kakashi hunkered down on his branch and wondered how much more of this he could take. He needed an answer from Iruka, and soon. But he couldn't get an answer if he didn't ask the question.

"Listen up, both of you. We're dangerously close to the enemy now. Our sources tell us that this guy is a Missing Nin that has perfected the use of toothed weapons, particularly chakra-activated traps. From this point on, absolutely no horsing around." Kakashi looked pointedly at the dark-haired chuunin before moving on. "Genma and I are going to scout out the trees looking for such traps. You and your toadstool can do the same for the ground."

"Haru is not a toadstool, Kakashi."

The Copy-nin ignored this. "Even talking poses a danger now, so you're going to use howls and bird calls to communicate with one another."

"What about the hand-sign language?"

"If it comes to that, we'll know, but for now it's safe enough to make noise." Genma had replaced his smug smirk with a more serious frown.

"A shrill whistle means 'stop! danger!' and you'd better not move until we give you the 'all clear': a soft howl."

The four now-serious shinobi conferred shortly on the new means of communication before splitting up to move towards the target again.

Kakashi uncovered his Sharingan eye and scanned his surroundings. Nothing near, but there were some suspicious areas of haze ahead of them. He leapt from tree to tree, all his senses riled, looking for anything threatening.

And he found it. Directly underneath him, there was a well-disguised bear trap with a chakra extracting implement. Anyone falling into that would die slowly and painfully. That moment, he noticed Haru walking directly towards the trap. An intense yet short mental battle raged between Kakashi's animal desire and his voice of reason. A moment before the young chuunin fell to his possible death, the silver-haired nin let out a shrill whistle. Haru stopped dead in his tracks. After a sigh, Kakashi threw a kunai to indicate which path was safe, which the kouhai followed. _Next time, I won't hesitate_, the Copy-nin promised himself, as he began scouting again.

For the fourth time, Iruka dodged the saw-kunai. The assailant was a Missing Nin named Hamaya, and capturing him was more difficult than the mission instructions had indicated. They had been warned about his preference for toothed weapons, but they had known nothing about the secret jutsu that made him move at the speed of sound.

The problem was that Hamaya had invoked the jutsu before they'd reached him, and Kakashi had not been able to copy all of it with the Sharingan. And it seemed that the man had rigged every available meter of space within a fifty-meter radius with some lethal trap or another. The Copy-nin's main assignment had been to guide Haru and Iruka away from the chakra-activated ones, while Genma tried to corner the fugitive.

As Iruka continued to advance, he began to familiarize himself with the signs of the traps and avoided them without help. Now he was trying to find a way to attack Hamaya. He didn't expect to inflict a lot of damage, but maybe he'd be able to stop him long enough for either Kakashi or Genma to get a clear shot.

The battle dragged on, and the shinobi began to get weary. Genma had trouble keeping up with the enemy's speed, and Kakashi was far too busy saving his comrades from traps only he could see to get into a serious fight with Hamaya. Iruka weighed his options. At this rate, they could tire out and have to let Hamaya go, which wasn't a very good choice. He could risk his life in the hope of getting a hit on this person. Or he could stalk a bit more, learn his pattern of movement and make use of that to strike at him with _it_.

Iruka almost flinched inwardly. He had researched and made his scrolls illegally. It was against the law for shinobi to develop a potent jutsu without informing the Hokage. Minor stuff, like a resonance jutsu, could be kept private. It had started out that small. Iruka couldn't recall when he'd first discovered that it could reach lethal levels. But he did remember deciding to stash his scrolls away. If they were found, he'd be interrogated as to why he hadn't informed the authorities of this ability and maybe even branded a traitor.

He made his decision. This man was a dangerous murderer, and if he didn't stop him now, the team was at immediate risk. A vision of Haru, blood leaking from his mouth, and Kakashi being pierced by one of those cruel, hooked kunai invaded his mind momentarily before he brushed it away. Iruka opened one of the pouches in his vest and drew out a finished scroll. In the near distance, Genma threw several poison-tipped senbons, causing Hamaya to duck, giving Iruka the brief opening he needed. The scarred chunnin bit his finger and did the hand signs of the Rat, Dog, Ox and Serpent. It had an immediate effect: heatless thunder enveloped Hamaya, who was caught in mid-leap. He screamed and fell down like a boneless fish.

Iruka allowed himself a smile of triumph. He'd have to face the consequences of his carelessness, but knowing that the threat was nullified made him feel a lot better. And then pain exploded in his left leg and the world went black.


	28. Chapter 28

_A/N: __Oh geez I forgot to update in here??_

_Bad me! This chapter has been up in livejournal for__** months**__ __

_Gomenasai!_

As quickly as the world had vanished, it came back again in a violent jolt. Pain momentarily blinded Iruka; he didn't know who he was or what was going on for an instant. But adrenaline had been rushing through his veins during the battle, and the natural drug lessened the pain to help him survive the shock.

Gasping, he opened his eyes. Haru was nearby, fumbling to get something out of his belt pouch. He saw Kakashi's back; the jounin was crouching and he couldn't see what he was doing. Two of his team were accounted for...but where was Genma?

Groggily, he tried to sit up to have a greater field of vision. That moment, Haru noticed he was awake.  
"No, Iruka-sensei! Don't try to get up! This thing is sucking your chakra, and you need to conserve your energy!"  
Were those tears in his kouhai's cheeks? How come there was blood on his fingers? Iruka had to make a conscious effort to stay awake and think. The world began to blur again.

"Genma, will you leave that piece of shit and help me here?" _That is Kakashi, right? Though Kakashi doesn't usually shout...._  
"I have to secure the prisoner first and you know it," Genma's voice came closer. Then there he was, looking down at Iruka. "Was that jutsu he used back there entirely within legal limits?"

"I know the laws well enough. Even if the jutsu is illegal, the penalty is certainly not death! That motherfucker won't wake up soon, so the priority now is to get this thing off Iruka!"

There were no more voices for a moment, but the soft sounds of ninja moving purposefully. And then, Iruka couldn't identify how, but the sounds of metal straining and men making an effort. But he didn't have time to consider this, for fresh waves of pain began to travel along his body. The world was even less clear...he was vaguely aware of someone gripping his shoulders....

~~~

Kakashi concentrated. He freed his mind of all distractions, internal and external. Medical jutsu had never been his forte; his specialty had always been wounding and killing. He concentrated. He needed to, however momentarily, forget his feelings for Iruka. A transparent greenish haze appeared around his fingertips. He had to fight the welling sorrow that seemed to burrow up from the depths of his heart to burst out of him. The haze took a more circular form and began spreading over his semi-gloved hands. He needed to forget how much he disliked himself for not ending the battle sooner.

Breathing deeply, he let his chakra wash over the wound, doing his best to reconnect sinew, muscle and tendons. It wasn't easy, and having little practice made him spend chakra inefficiently. _Don't die, Iruka! Don't die! I need you....No! _The momentary lapse in concentration made the haze flicker and almost go out. Again he forced himself to forget the immediate past and repair the wounded flesh. It wasn't until he felt difficulty breathing and droplets of sweat could be seen on his partly-hidden face that he was satisfied that Iruka would be better. There was still blood, but it didn't come out in gushes as it had initially done.

Moving away, he let Haru dress the wound with the first aid kit. Kakashi's head was spinning, and it wasn't just because he was physically and mentally spent. The horrible sinking feeling in his gut wouldn't go away even when he kicked the unconscious fugitive so hard that he heard a rib break.

_Stop it_, he told himself, _you're acting as if this is like Obito all over again. It isn't! Yes, he's hurt; yes, badly, but it's nothing irreparable, especially now that Tsunade is in town._

He leaned on a tree and took a breath, fighting down the gasps that wanted to come out of his mouth [some people want to throw up after witnessing something gruesome, I guess Kashi wouldn't go as far as actually thowing up, but he wouldn't feel too good wither]. _It isn't like you to be this rattled over a wound that is no longer lethal_. He shook his head. _It isn't like me to be in love either._

Iruka chewed his meat slowly. He was tired of only eating dehydrated food and an occasional rabbit that they managed to catch. He was eager to get back to Konoha, to eat some fruits and vegetables again. He stretched a bit to put his plate down and winced.

He looked at his leg. He still had trouble believing that he almost lost it. His stomach vanished whenever he thought about it. It didn't happen, he told himself, you have to concentrate on what happened not on what might have. He tried to take a calming deep breath. It came out rather shaky, but it worked.

Now for the big test. He needed to get up from where he was sitting and go into the tent to go to sleep. He grabbed a branch from the tree he was leaning on and hoisted himself up. He tried to ignore the pain. Now he had to balance himself without support...

"Iruka-sensei, what are you doing?" Haru, who had been dousing the fire and watching the prisoner at the other side of the camp, came running.  
"Attempting to reach the tent."  
"Let me help you. You haven't recovered at all yet!"  
"Haru-kun, it does hurt, but I'm not a helpless cripple." He accepted his kouhai's arm nevertheless.

Being supported by the younger chuunin made the whole task a lot easier, and Iruka was in the tent sooner than he expected. He lay down on his back and caught his breath, thinking that if a few steps tired him, sleeping wouldn't be a problem. He was about to roll over and cover himself with a blanket when he felt the younger man wrapping his arms around him.

"Haru...what?"  
The response came muffled from Iruka's chest. "Iruka-sensei....I was so scared back there. I only saw that horrible thing on your leg, and you were bleeding so much...."

Iruka took Haru's chin gently and lifted his face. The younger man's eyes where shiny with tears.  
"Now, Haru, every ninja's job is dangerous, and there are a lot of ways of getting hurt. To be a good shinobi one has to be mentally prepared for every outcome, including death, your own or a colleague's." Then his voice softened. "But there is no shame in crying for a loss once you reach the village, you know?"

He returned Haru's hug warmly. "Try to stay tough outside Konoha, and you can let your feelings go once you and your team-mates are safe."  
"Hn...."  
The dolphin chuckled. "To tell you the truth, I'm probably going to freak out too when we reach home, but right now we're still in enemy territory, and there's a mission to be completed, so we have to keep our minds on that, all right?"

Haru nodded and slowly let go of his before Iruka could pull away, the younger chuunin leaned forward, and their lips almost brushed. Iruka thought it was an accident and turned his face away. But Haru caught his senpai's cheek and turned to face him again. As he leaned forward Iruka pushed him away, gently but decisively.

"Haru...don't...please..."  
Iruka didn't see his kouhai's face as the younger man stood up suddenly and quickly exited the tent.

_Why?_ Iruka put his hands over his face and attempted to organize his thoughts. But for some reason, he couldn't find the familiar calm within himself he drew on when things were going extremely badly. Too much was happening at once...  
"Iruka?"

The chuunin looked and had to blink away the tears that he hadn't noticed were there. He tried to make out the profile of the person who was standing at the entrance of the tent. Yet somehow he already knew before his eyes confirmed it...

"Oh, Kakashi..." Despite his wishes, his voice didn't sound remotely as confident as he would have liked. "P-please don't mind me....I'm just haven't felt well lately...."  
The Copy-nin was by his side faster than he'd imagined possible. "What is it? What happened?"

"....I-I think Haru likes me, but...so much has happened, my heart can't take it!" He had to take another deep breath before continuing. "I'm not weak, I can usually cope with the situation, but today..."  
Kakashi wrapped an arm around his crush's shoulders. "You've coped far better than most men can, Iruka...."

Iruka buried his face in the jounin's chest. "Why, Kakashi? Why am I breaking down like this?"  
Kakashi waited for the chuunin to compose himself a little before answering.

"Like you said, too much has happened." He squeezed Iruka's shoulder in a friendly manner. "Changes happen in life, that is inevitable. But most people can deal with them because while one aspect of their lives takes a different turn, another stays the same. For example, a man can move from his house, but his wife stays with him. But you Iruka, you've had a lot of changes in your life recently: Naruto went to train, the war broke out, you moved out of your home and you are seriously injured on the same day someone..." Kakashi hesitated for a few seconds. He swallwed and continued. "...you care about confesses to you."

"Hn....."  
"Personally, I think you're also a bit rattled because school's over. That's also a change, however temporary."

Kakashi allowed Iruka to take a few moments to digest this. "Iruka...I think what you need is a constant on your life...something...or someone that you know will be there even when great changes are afoot...if you want...I'll be it..."  
"What?" The quickness and sharpness of the question felt like a stab to the jounin. He tried not to wince.

"What I mean...I'll continue to be your roommate until you feel better. We'll bug each other, you'll cook, I'll complain, you'll grade homework and I'll make smart-alec remarks. That way, even if it is something annoying, you'll have a constant in your life...at least that's my opinion...." Kakashi's voice died out when he noticed Iruka had stopped crying. He suddenly felt as if he didn't have any air in his lungs.

"Thanks, Kakashi...." He could breathe again. "Even though it's weird that you'll be bothering me out of kindness, I think I'll accept your offer." The dolphin smiled weakly.  
"Just get better...Cook." Kakashi gave Iruka a really gentle punch in the shoulder and walked out of the tent.

It wasn't until he knew he was out of hearing range of the clearing that he let out a howl like a wounded animal.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: _Sorry for the massive delay on this_

_If you would like to know a vague reason for it, read this_

_.com/eltiteretista/pic/000dddga_

_But if you're anything like me, you'll ignore that and read on, and then demand I update more, like a proper fan XDD_

Kakashi told himself to calm down. He was overreacting. During missions, either with his Genin team or as an elite ANBU, he had always prided himself on being the one keeping a cool head when the situation turned ugly. One needed to react fast, yes, but panicking was hardly effective and gave the enemy an idea of how hopeless your situation was.

Drawing up his hands in a dragon sign, he concentrated his chi so it flowed harmoniously through his body in what was hopefully a calming jutsu. It wasn't working. He was too distracted.

As he curled his hand into a fist, he decided that he was more angry than he was upset. Yes, so maybe he should have made his intentions clear earlier, but that did not give the right to...to...a child to butt into his affairs! Furthermore, what right did that kid have to unsettle Iruka so much when the poor man had just toyed with death? Kakashi realized he was beginning to blame Haru for his problems. He shook his head. Not a mature thing to do. But then again, he didn't feel like being mature or reasonable when the situation was like this.

Suppose Iruka decided to accept Haru's love after all? Assuming for a second that the Copy-nin put his feelings aside for Iruka's sake, what would happen then? If they started dating, it would be a miserable experience for him. For a second he contemplated what life would be like living in the same house with the man he had grown to respect, to care for and to love, while that man had a love affair with someone else.

Kakashi passed a hand through his gravity-defying hair. He had enough problems without inventing himself new ones. Forcing himself to think objectively, he reasoned that the only way Iruka would accept Haru's offer right now would be because he was miserable and would embrace any show of kindness offered to him. Iruka was not the kind of guy to behave impulsively in matters of love or when there was a chance it would hurt someone else's feelings. He sighed. At least he had that much to his advantage.

For once in his life, he decided to take a page out of Gai's book and solve his problem through physical exertion. Not wanting to run too far from his comrades in enemy territory, he began doing push-ups, first with his palms on the ground, then his fists and finally his left index finger.

The more push-ups he did, the more his head cleared, and after the fifty mark he was able to organize his thoughts somewhat. The situation was that he liked Iruka and that he was not the only one. Added to that, Iruka was not aware that he was Kakashi's object of affection. Now he needed to decide on a plan of action. He had too much pride to openly compete with another man, and a twenty-year-old at that. However, if he was too subtle he might lose his chance of being noticed.

He panted softly as he broke out in a sweat. When he was fifteen he had been forced to go to one of those "classes" they had for ANBU to determine how emotionally stable they were. One of the exercises required that he write down something that made him happy and something that made him sad. Like the well-trained ninja he was, he lied and wrote "puppies" in the blank that made him happy and "rain" for what made him sad.

For some reason, he kept thinking about those questions even once he was lying in his futon that night. He kept turning over, restless, alternatively staring at the ceiling or the curtained window. He sighed as he visualized the test paper in front of him.

Write something that makes you happy.  
_____________________

He remembered sitting on a small hill overlooking a grass-field that he was so familiar with. The sunlight seemed to stroke the grass blades that bent slightly in the wind. They sat in the shade of some bent trees, protected from both the light and prying eyes. He remembered talking a lot, which was very unlike him, but he couldn't seem to stop. Once he finally did they sat in silence, staring at the open space beyond or nothing. He didn't know when it happened, but there was a hand over his own.

ANBU Kakashi turned to look at the other person questioningly. It was then that he remembered that he'd pulled off his mask to eat onigiri. It was then that he was kissed on the lips for the first time in his life.

Love.__________________

Write something that makes you sad.

_____________________

Due to the war, he didn't see that person again until almost a week later. It was inside a grim meeting room, full of equally grim-looking ninjas and soldiers waiting for the fighting to end. For some reason, their eyes did not meet once.

Love?______________ 

Kakashi got on his feet and shook his head. He wasn't a love-struck teenage fool anymore, but he was definitely a love-struck fool.

Iruka stretched out over his mattress and gave a long sigh. Coming back to Konoha had been a torturous affair, with one Jounin helping him move, while the other escorted the prisoner. Compared to the trip there, going back had been pretty quiet. Once in Konoha, Tsunade had made short order of his injury. He wouldn't be able to run on rooftops or teleport properly for a while, but at least he could move without extreme pain.

Lifting his pant leg up, the tan man saw the jagged scar that would now decorate his calf for the rest of his life.  
However, he knew he was lucky, because Tsunade was a first-class Medic-nin. Other people might have lost the limb. In fact he had been lucky twice: first when Kakashi had saved his leg and then when Tsunade had prevented it from becoming a horrible gap with a huge risk of infection.

Running his hand over the slight bump it created, Iruka tried to familiarize himself with it. Whenever there was something weird with his body, he couldn't resist the urge to run his hand over it again and again, regardless of his doctor's instructions.  
Few people knew, but the scar that ran over the bridge of his nose hadn't faded away because he had irritated the wound by touching it every day. No matter how many times his doctor had scolded him or how many times his mother threatened punishment (at times actually slapping his hand away) back then, Iruka just wasn't able to prevent himself from feeling the irregularity in his face over and over, as if checking to see that it was still there.

Fewer people still, knew that he would run his hand over his now-familiar scar when he was really nervous. It didn't happen often, as the sensei wasn't a nervous man. He had done it when they were giving the names of the shinobi who had passed to the Chuunin level, when he had been hoping and dreading his name was on the list. The first time he made love to someone had been tense and sweet at the same time, he had touched his scar then too.

The last time he had consciously told himself to put his hand away was the first day of school when he had started being a teacher. His hand had been twitching the whole time he took attendance. He had noticed a young blonde boy with lines in his cheek and immediately recognized him as the Kyuubi host.

Noticing the looks Naruto was getting from the other children, Iruka remembered that most parents in the village ostracized the young host of the nine-tailed fox. Running his hand over his scar one last time, the tan man reminded himself the promise he had made the Third Hokage. He would treat Naruto equally, not giving him special attention or disdain.

When he finally got to the name "Uzamaki Naruto" a blond twerp jumped up from his chair.

"That's me! And you better remember it because I'm going to be the greatest ninja of all time! Dattebayo!" The rest of the class looked at the young cadet in a mixture of morbid fascination and annoyance, some looking over at Iruka to see how he would react.

At that moment his nervousness went away and he had to suppress a smile. The Kyuu--no, _Naruto_, was just like him when he was his age and he knew why. Having no parents to love him made him crave attention, even negative attention. Now the problem would be not to make him his favorite student.

"Sit down, Naruto, we all heard you."

That first day, he had vowed to treat Naruto the same as any other troublemaker, and he had followed through on it, almost to an extreme. Until the Mizuki incident. After that, he and the blond-haired rascal had inevitably grown closer. He sighed and rolled over in his bed. Now that Naruto was gone training he did feel a little lonely...funny he just thought about that now....

Suddenly something jumped on his chest. It drove the wind from his lungs so he couldn't shove it off. It was one of Kakashi's nin-ken, the white shepherd.

Finally regaining his breath, Iruka began to push the dog away, who was trying to lick his face. "Get off! And get off my bed! Kakashi!"

The Copy-nin sauntered lazily into the room, with an air of having nothing better to do. "Maa, Shira, apparently Iruka doesn't appreciate your kisses, he's so mean."

"Of course I don't! Dog slobber! What's he doing here anyway?" Iruka finally got the canine off him, only to discover that both his shirt and his pants were covered in white fur. He scowled at Kakashi in annoyance.

"Shira's breath smells better than yours, and for your information it's a _she_, not a he and that's why I need to keep her inside for a few days. If I don't, she'll distract my other dogs."

Iruka was paying only half-attention, since Shira seemed bent on jumping on his bed again despite his protests.

"I still don't understand."  
"Well, if I have to spell it out to you, Iruka-_sensei,_ my bitch is in heat."

"Don't you use filthy language arou--" The scarred man stopped himself before he finished his sentence. He had realized what Kakashi meant. He glared at the jounin, who was smiling happily, his mask still on.

"Why don't you neuter her?"  
"Oh, I do want her to have a litter or two, but she's barely a year old, I don't want her to be a mommy yet."  
"Hmph, well tell her to stay off the furniture."  
"She'll do whatever she likes when I'm not around, Iruka. If you want her to listen to you, you have to take on an authority role." Pulling down his mask, the jounin gave his roommate a sly smile. "You seem to be good at that whenever I don't want you to be."

"Will you and your dog _go away_?"

Kakashi only gave a small chuckle as he walked away, the white canine at his heels. Sure, Shira was indeed in heat and he wouldn't be able to deal with any puppies right now. The real reason he had brought her to the apartment, however, was because she was his most mild-mannered nin-ken.

Iruka wouldn't be able to do missions while his leg was hurt and school didn't start for another three weeks. Kakashi just didn't want his love to be lonely or to feel unwanted.

He scratched Shira behind the ears. Would she be a good enough replacement while he was away?

_A/N (again): by the way, if I haven't said this already, this really nice person, Alika, drew a picture based on my story__. It's much better than anything I would have done so give her good reviews ^_^_

_.com/art/Wrapped-in-Secrets-Eltitere-96836272 _


	30. Chapter 30

~0~

A/N: I will read and consider any suggestions reader put in the comments as to what is to happen in the story forthwith

Sunshine sneaked its way through the drapes, somehow managing to hit Iruka square on the face, as if the inert rays somehow wanted to annoy him.  
He turned his face away from the annoying light, only to be tickled in the nose but something furry. His nosed wrinkled in preparation for a sneeze, so he turned back to the way he was before, only to be annoyed by the light again.

Frowning while trying to solve his problem being more asleep than awake, suddenly his groggy brain made a connection. _Fur?_

He abruptly sat up. Hogging most of his pillow, curled up quite comfortably, was Shira.

"I said you can only sleep with me if you stay at my feet!" He pushed her off the bed, which made her fall on the floor with a thump.

She gave a half-annoyed, half-pained whine, but didn't try to get on his bed again since he was getting up. He limped to the bathroom and relieved himself, only opening his eyes half-way while going there and back.

He lay down on the bed again, not covering himself, trying to force himself to make a decision. The pain in his leg had grown worse during the night, and he had lain awake a few hours before sleep finally came.

Tsunade had recommended he take painkillers, but Iruka wasn't keen on the idea of taking any drugs he could get addicted to. Arriving home last night, Kakashi had shoved a small bottle full of pills into the chuunin's drawer and refused to let Iruka take it out. Now he understood why.

Wanting an hour more of sleep or so, he took one of the insipid pills with a glass of water. Maybe it was a placebo effect, but he felt better right after taking it.

He glanced at the label on the bottle and his eyes went wide.

"'For relieving menstrual cramps'?!"

If dogs could smile then Shira would be grinning widely at her companion's expression just then.

Morino Ibiki filed the papers with the day's findings away in a chakra-sealed scroll. Information obtained during interrogation was for the Hokage's eyes only, and he intended to keep it that way. As quiet as a fox stalking his prey, he put the scroll under lock and moved to the other end of his office.

Most of the people working with him had gotten used to how quietly he moved despite his size. That bored him. It was amusing whenever a new ANBU or jounin jumped off his seat in surprise when he sneaked up to them for some work-related question.

Perhaps that Sarutobi guy was right, he was a bit of a sadist. But judging by how unafraid his office workers were after a few weeks, he doubted he lived up to the legends the lower-rank shinobi spread around and believed. As a test, he walked up behind Samui and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Yes, commander?"

The Head of Torture and Interrogation looked at his subordinate with an unreadable look before replying "Nothing" and walking away.

He wasn't sure what was going on, but for some reason he felt a bit alone when people didn't respond to him. Perhaps it was a work-related hazard, that the only interactions that counted were when the other person was afraid of him.

"...."

Maybe he was just feeling lonely? That would explain his behavior at that party with that Umino guy.

He unconsciously rearranged his long coat. He liked to examine the minds of other people, but examining his own was always a pain. Besides, it was a waste of effort to analyze drunken behavior.

Right?

~~~~~~  
Izumo yawned, letting his hand prop up his chin to prevent it from hitting the table in boredom. Being the Fifth Hokage's assistant seemed like a glamorous job when it was being offered, but now he knew it meant doing all the stuff the Hokage's personal assistant, Shizune, didn't want to do.

Much to his chagrin, it also meant that he wasn't exempt from those missions that separated him from his partner, Kotetzu.

He picked at an irregularity on his desk in annoyance, ignoring the pile of mission reports he was supposed to look at. Without Kotetzu next to him, he wasn't even inspired enough to look for fresh gossip, or new victims to humiliate.

Suddenly someone grabbed his bandana-hitai-ate, shoving it over his eyes. Genma just laughed at his comrade's struggles to readjust the cloth.

"I'm surprised they're considering giving you the rank of jounin, seeing how much attention you pay."

Izumo merely grunted in response, embarrassed at being caught daydreaming.

"You look like you're about to waste away. Seriously, stop looking so sad! It's only a two-day mission."

Putting his hitai-ate back in place, the chuunin glared at his comrade. "Well since you're so bent on cheering me up, tell me some dirt. Nothing interesting has happened in the last few days."  
Genma shifted the sharp needle from one side of his mouth to the other, stalling his answer. He had approached the lower-ranking shinobi to kill time until Mai finished her shift, but now that he was actually in front of the blabbermouth he was faced with a conundrum.

He had followed the proceedings of his previous mission with avid interest, hoping to report back to his two friends as soon as they crossed the border to their own village.

But then the mission had taken an unexpected turn.  
Genma enjoyed bothering and embarrassing his friends, but he knew there were limits. He liked Iruka because he was a fun guy to tease, and he liked Kakashi because he understood where he was coming from as a shinobi.  
He didn't want to do anything to seriously jeopardize their relationship.

Making trouble for them now that the young teacher was hurt, both in feelings and body, while Kakashi sorted out his own thoughts, now that would be crossing the line.

"Uh....it's been dead for a few days now...I suppose you heard that Asuma and Kurenai actually got together?"  
"Don't be stupid, I'm the one who started spreading that one around in the first place." He eyed the dirty blonde with suspicion. "You're not telling me something."

"I'm not telling you lots of things, such as the fact that I had soba for breakfast, because they are unimportant facts."

Izumo wasn't convinced. "No....I know that look, you're not telling me something important."  
Genma didn't meet the former Chuunin-exam proctor's gaze. "You're imagining things."

Just then, Morino Ibiki walked by them, hearing snatches of their conversation. He paused, information clicking into slots in his brain.  
Genma refusing to give information to his friend.....Genma, Kakashi's neighbor and friend.....Kakashi, Iruka, Genma and another ninja recently were on a mission together, of which the details of the capture of the enemy were sketchy...

His interest piqued, the tall man walked towards the two men currently glaring at each other. He noted with satisfaction that the senbon-jounin twitched when he put his hand on his shoulder.

"Ne, Shiranui-san, I have a few questions for you...."

Despite being a battle-hardened shinobi, Genma could not help losing a little color when seeing the inquisitor's glare. He turned at Izumo for support, but the younger man was still pissed at him and refused to help him.

His voice a trained, menacing growl, Ibiki put more pressure on his kouhai's shoulder. "Come with me."

Resigned to his fate, Genma walked in front of the Master of Interrogations to a more secluded street lined with ash trees. The rustling leaves would hide any snatches of their conversation, which was what Ibiki intended.

"Shiranui, there seems to be a bit of a problem with the report you filed about your recent mission to capture a rogue-nin, Hamaya."  
"Yes, sir?"  
"Well in the report you wrote that you and Kakashi defeated the man through ninjutsu and his wounds seem to bear that out. However...."

The scarred man let the silence drag on, knowing that it was making the younger man uncomfortable. Analyzing his own mind was difficult, but the mind of a jounin was an entirely different story. And to make it easier, it wasn't the first time he had investigated Genma.

When the senbon-nin was younger, Ibiki had had to chase after him a few times during missions, preventing him from making reckless mistakes that would endanger himself and the village. During the last war, with most jounin away on important missions, the village had been short-handed for mentors for the younger shinobi. Ibiki himself had been looking after at least five ninjas younger and lower-ranking than him at the same time he was completing his ANBU training. After a few sessions of disciplinary action, Genma began to be more careful in the field and eventually no longer required Ibiki looking after him.  
However, that didn't mean he had forgotten how scary the older man could be.

"....the prisoner's interrogation has led to some very interesting findings....."  
Avoiding the powerful gaze that seemed to be boring into his brain, Genma tried to think of a valid explanation.

"He was probably lying to get his captors into trouble. It's not like there is any love lost between us."

Ibiki smiled a raptor's smile, telling his kouhai that somehow that had been the wrong answer.

"How did you know he said something that would get the ones who apprehended him in trouble?"  
"Well....uh...."

Without waiting for Genma to answer, he grabbed the collar of his jounin vest, making sure he couldn't get away.

"Umino did something, something weird,and all of you are protecting him. Why?"

This was trouble. Genma knew the only way to be immune to Ibiki was to be innocent of whatever he was accusing him of and this was not the case.  
He had omitted Iruka's peculiar jutsu from his report, when he should have recorded it. He was protecting Iruka and, by extension, Kakashi.

"I don't know what you're talking abo--"  
"Don't bullshit me, Shiranui!"

The sudden change in tone filled Genma with panic. He still had trouble telling whether the ANBU was truly angry or he was making a front to get the information he wanted.

"Well....Iruka used a jutsu....I wasn't really sure how to classify it...so I omitted it...."

"Really?" Ibiki said in a tone that indicated that this bit of information was not new to him. "You being a jounin it surprises me that you cannot tell one basic jutsu from another. Maybe I should talk to the Hokage about lowering your rank."

"No!" The senbon-nin knew that the man was capable of doing that. "And it wasn't something basic, it was--"  
"So you can identify it."

Genma grimaced at his slip. It wasn't easy keeping anything from Ibiki, especially since Genma was out of practice.

"If Umino has mastered an unidentified jutsu, the legality of it has to be confirmed, you know that."

The subsequent silence told Ibiki that Genma understood him. He let the quiet hang for a while.

"And why would you protect him?"

Genma opened his mouth and then closed it. After all, Ibiki was not a gossip like Izumo or Kotetsu, more like the opposite. He didn't know what the Head of Interrogation would do with this piece of information.

Sensing hesitation, Ibiki leaned closer to his charge. "Might I remind you that you could still be held responsible for not reporting this right away...you know what the consequences could be."

Sorry Kakashi....sorry Iruka..... "I let Iruka get away with it because he's under a lot of stress right now."  
"How so?"

"Well uh...two of the guys are, uh, interested in him romantically, and he knows about one of them, but it's obvious that he likes Kakashi and--"

"Interesting."  
Some meters away, carefully hidden, was Izumo, thinking the same thing.


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: It feels as if it has been years since I last worked in this story, but in truth it has been a few lazy, lazy months. When you ask me why I stopped, I can list a number of reasons including writer's block, aliens, depression and the Voynich Manuscript.

But the most honest explanation was that during the summer I read a number of good books and compared their quality to mine. I realized that my plot and characters were hardly developed at all. Reading back in my previous chapters lead to more revelation. Let-down. Disappointment. Incontinence. Weight gain. Bloody stool. Fainting. Death. Heaven. Reincarnation. Hi, I'm back.

Anyway, I have read more published love stories this month than I ever have in my life (count: one) and it may have affected the way I write this story as well.

Since it is nearing it's end, I suppose there will be less comedy and more serious business so I apologize in advance for the people who were following this for the LOL's. I'm not saying it will be as comedy-free as, say, Malleus Maleficarum, but it'll definitely a tiny bit more serious.

To recap: we last saw our two main heroes in various stages of revelation about love. The secondary couple, a kick-ass puppeteer and a fatalist Cyclops elitist, both still hiding in the closet so hard they may reach Narnia, are together in the Hyuuga house, entertaining Hanabi, who I thought was a stuck-up bitch in the beginning, but now I see as having great potential to be the right kind of bitch. Enjoy.

The Hyuuga compound was abuzz, which was rather unusual. In previous years the Main House elders would have demanded relative silence within the grounds of the main buildings, to give it a more meditative and serene atmosphere.

However, since Hiashi Hyuuga became head of the family, he had relaxed the rules and begun letting the younger members train in the courtyards, as opposed to the inside dojos, as long as they worked hard.

Added to that, a number of Suna refugees had been living in the unused servant quarters in recent months. For a clan usually so secretive and secluded, it took the elite ninjas some time to get used to having commoners living with them. But in due time both groups learned to respect each other's cultural boundaries even if sometimes disagreements broke out. There had been a huge argument over whether the children of the arid country should play outside the compound so as to not disturb the training of the young ninja with their games, but fortunately it was settled by setting aside an area of the garden for the refugee children to play in.

Today everyone was talking about the same thing: the imminent end of the war of Suna. It was more of a rumor, really, a side note at the end of letters shinobi sent their dear ones from the battlefront. But it was enough to get everyone discussing the consequences.

Would Suna resume commercial trade with Konoha? Would they still be allies? Neutral towards each other? A ninja nation had to choose its associates carefully, they said; nobody would trust their services if they became too friendly with the village that had attacked them so recently. But was it really the Fourth Kazekage's fault that the great Sannin Orochimaru had deceived and then assassinated him?

There were few shinobi who could top Orochimaru; even the Third Hokage had fallen to him.

And did this mean that Sand was closer to choosing a new Kazekage?

The ones who were discussing this with the most excitement were of course the refugees, because it meant that perhaps soon they could return home, and they would see their fighting brothers, sisters, wives and husbands.

Neji knew that Kankuro was one of the few active shinobi that had accompanied the civilians to Konoha, and so had missed out on the action for the sake of encouraging his people.

To carry out this duty, he sometimes came to the compound to talk with his countrymen and give them news about the casualties, which were surprisingly low. Neji would try to avoid the flirtatious glances that Kankuro sent his way, but his eyes couldn't help slipping back to the mysterious painted face only to see a victorious smirk, which only annoyed Neji and made him more determined to avoid looking at him.

But now that talk about the end of the war was becoming more serious, even Lord Hiashi had been discussing it, and Neji began to wonder what would happen if his.....non-platonic friend actually left.

He had to admit that saying goodbye was something he didn't want, and once Kankuro returned to Suna opportunities to meet would be rare. But he knew that they both had duties that ninjas could not ignore.

"Neji." The young teen almost startled at his name and then cursed himself for forgetting where he was sitting. In his uncle's, the Head of Hyuuga, living room, and here was daydreaming.

"Yes, sir?"

"As I was saying, I'll be going with Hinata and Kou to see Lady Tsunade about certain issues."

"Yes, sir."

"I trust you will keep Hanabi company while we're away."

The pale-eyed youth bowed.

Hanabi.

He remembered how happy he had been when she was born. He had thought he would have a companion in suffering or at least someone almost his age to play with. Because Hanabi was the second daughter, it was almost certain that she would be marked with a "caged bird" tattoo upon her fourth birthday.

Those had been the few occasions when Neji had been cheerful to go to Hiashi's house to visit with his cousins.

He wondered if Hanabi remembered how he played with her as a baby, carrying her and trying to teach her how to walk. He didn't know if she remembered how he had suddenly turned cold to her the day he learned that she was not to be of the Cadet Branch, her older sister not being strong enough.

Neji felt a little ashamed now as he thought of his own childish jealousy back then. It wasn't her fault, being caught in the turmoil of old family traditions, just like he was, just like Hinata was.

Since meeting Naruto he had resolved to stop blaming all his troubles on the members of the Main Branch, particularly those who had no power whatsoever over what happened to himself or others.

He shook his head. No use depressing himself for no good reason. Better concentrate on what he could do right now. What rules he could break. A small smirk spread on his face as he thought that.

"What are you smiling about?"

Hanabi had entered the room and was now scooting over to sit next to her cousin. She would be a spitting image of her older sister if Hinata wore her hair longer. With a mischievous disposition like a fox's, she regarded Neji.

But the older Hyuuga noticed that at the same time she was keeping sort of a respectful distance. He wondered smugly if it was because she had seen his match against Naruto during last year's Chuunin exams and she was awed by his self-taught knowledge of the Gentle Fist.

She then opened her mouth. "Did you know that when you frown your eyebrows scrunch up all weird?" [my attempt at comedy __ I tries....maybe I should change it to "smile"?]

Neji stared at his cousin with disbelief for several seconds before he managed to get an annoyed "who asked you?" out.

Five minutes later, he was in the bathroom, checking the verifiability of Hanabi's statement in the mirror.

His eyebrows did, in fact, scrunch up when he frowned. The truth was that his whole face was unpleasant when he was glaring. How many years had he worn that expression of distaste? No wonder few people ever approached him.

He relaxed his face with a small exhalation. Then again he had never particularly wanted anyone's company, he had been too engrossed in his personal vendetta.

It suddenly occurred to him that Kankuro sometimes spend a good time of his day looking at his face. Why? He looked in the mirror again. Neji was not a vain person, he spent less time thinking about his appearance than about his laundry. What could his boyfriend possibly find to interesting? Apart from his eyes there was nothing extraordinary about him.

In the mirror he saw the door open and he turned around to face his cousin. She didn't say anything, just looked at him to see his reaction. Maybe she thought he had been doing something weird in the bathroom, like most girls her age assumed all boys did.

_Now's a good time as any._ "Hey Hanabi, would you like me to teach you to see through thin stuff?"

Her eyes lit up. "Yes!"

The Byakuugan was very useful during battles since the chakra points and veins practically shone to the user. But pinpointing less "shiny" stuff took years of practice, and some of the less skilled Hyuugas never mastered that at all.

Concentrating too much on a person would give a completely see-though vision and reducing the focus too much would be looking at the person normally.

Most Hyuugas knew how to focus enough to see the bones and through walls, but for some time now Neji had mastered being able to see through clothes.

_Not that I use that ability often. Maybe when I wanted to ascertain a person's sex. And maybe when I wonder how "big" some guy is. And sometimes when Kankuro's around....shut **up** brain, not now!_

"But I would like you to do something for me in exchange."

Hanabi's face immediately registered suspicion, but the interest was still there.

"What?"

"You have to promise not to tell anyone that I invited someone here today."

"You invited someone? Who?"

"You'll see soon."

"Is it your girlfriend?"  
"No!"

"You're blushing! I think it is!"

"You're delusional."  
"I think it IS a girl. What's her name?"

"Do you want me to teach you the finer arts of the Byakuugan or not?"

That seemed to settle the argument for a while. Neji spent some time giving her pointers on how to focus, but he was distracted. He failed to notice it was pouring rain.

Finally there was a knock on the door. Smiling just a bit, Neji abandoned the scroll he had been showing his cousin and slid the door open, revealing a very wet, very muddy fifteen-year-old. The puppeteer clapped a friendly arm on his boyfriend's shoulder. "Hey." He greeted.

Kankuro leaned closer, but before he could make his amorous intentions too clear Neji stepped away.

"Ah....I haven't introduced you to my cousin yet, this is Hanabi." _I'm sorry, we have an audience._

Hanabi moved closer, pouting. "Huh! I thought you were a girl! How boring."

Kankuro scowled at her. "I don't like brats."

Before either could say more, Neji interrupted. "Kankuro-kun, you're soaking wet, you better change."

"Sure, where?"

Neji looked around. He was in Hiashi's house, not his own. It would be rude to poke around in the Head of the Hyuuga's house without permission, no?

But the Hiashi was his uncle, one of his closest family besides his mother. Surely he could borrow something without causing any major grief.

"Hanabi, where does Oji-sama keep his shirts?"

"Seriously, why did you tell me to come over when your bratty cousing was in? We can't make out!"  
"Keep your voice down. We can do whatever we want either after she goes to sleep or the rest return, either way you're coming to my house after."  
"You should've told me to come later! I really cannot stand kids!"

"I don't think Hanabi is such a bad companion, besides, I wanted you to see the compound once without being all diplomatic."

"Hmph."

As Neji looked at his boyfriend dressed in traditional Hyuuga wear, he didn't know what he found more disturbing: the fact that he actually invited his beau to his uncle's house without permission, or the fact that Kankuro and Hiashi seemed to share the same size of pants. _When did Kankuro get so tall?_ Neji chuckled.

"Whatcha laughing about?"

"You, these clothes are too big for you."

"**You** chose them for me!"

"I know." Neji took the obi sash Kankuro was trying rather unsuccessfully to tie around his waist and retreated.

"Give that back!"

"Make me." Of course the older boy lunged at him.

Neji enjoyed kissing, he liked Kankuro, but he also enjoyed "manlier" activities like wrestling with him. Whenever they had fights he always made sure he tried to his best to win, he never let him have easy victories. Even though no one knew about their relationship, he somehow felt his pride was at stake since he was the younger of the two.

It was a really confusing feeling, loving Kankuro and feeling he was threatened by him at the same time. There were times he wanted to hold him as close as possible and then shove him away. He wished he could make up his own mind.


End file.
